Sando

Two matching rocker recliners, only 99 bucks!

Do 'em a deal, Mum! Ha-ha!

Plus this big screen TV, only $299.

Oh, do 'em a deal, love.

Two seater sofa, coffee table, matching armchairs,

big screen TV, big boy, little boy, lamps,

for not $699, not $599.

All this is yours for only $499.

Sando's Warehouse.

New stores in Boggabilla, Shuntsville, Mangwart and Fadgetown.

Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly,

or lightly.

But honestly, faithfully, in fear of the big guy upstairs.

Oh, do 'em a deal, Father.

Shh!

Sorry.

Anyway, I'm just so stoked we're all gathered here today...

(SOFTLY) Oh! Oh-ho.

Just look at her.

One day, that Susie of ours, she'll be running the company, Mum.

Think, three generations of Sandringham women.

It makes you proud.

Well, you've turned my beautiful boutique store

into a bargain basement furniture whorehouse for bogans.

Thanks, Mum. Hm.

Want to swap seats?

If anyone can show just cause why Kevin and Susie

may not lawfully be joined together, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Then let us now bear witness to... Shit.

What are you doing? Put that away.

Let us now bear witness... Shit.

Dad! Guys, language.

Shit, you're pregnant?!

Way to use your inside voice, Eric.

On my wedding day? Sorry, darl.

Just, you know, I thought it was early-onset menopause,

but looks like everything's shipshape downstairs.

Phew. Sando, Congratulations.

Um, but we're in the middle of something here.

Hang on. My birthday was nearly a year ago.

Oh.

Oh, yeah. No...

I see what's happened.

What's happened?

If you don't tell him, I will.

Way to kill the vibe, Kevin.

Mum?

That's not... not usually

the kind of anecdote that I would tell at a wedding,

but... do you remember the pool party

that we all had up at the holiday house in Terrigal?

Who could forget? It was awesome.

You know what Kevin's like.

You know, he's all over me like a fat kid on a biscuit.

I just thought, you know, give him one, it would get him off my back.

Susie, darling, it meant nothing to me.

Or to him, did it, Kevin?

I'm in love with you, Sando.

Holy shit!

Susie, please, I can explain.

Susie. Susie... Ooh!

Back inside. Nothing to see here. Please, it was... Ooh!

Susie... Susie!

Don't cause a scene, please.

I have got some very important clients in here today.

Susie, no. No, you calm...

Listen, I'm the one who's paying for the wedding.

Susie, remember I'm pregnant.

Hey, hey! Stop that.

Piece of shit.

Grandma! Grandma! Grandma!

This company's about family.

Always has been, always will be.

It started with mine, and, yeah, sure, there's been a few hiccups.

Daughter doesn't speak to me, been the odd restraining order.

But at the end of the day,

the family that I'm really talking about is you lot.

We used to be just one store,

and now we're like fake tan on a bra - we are everywhere.

137 stores nationwide!

And this store, Macquarie effing Fields,

is the top earner this financial year.

Yes, it is!

Oh, if it isn't our illustrious CFO Tony, come to babysit.

Oh, quite the opposite.

It's been a tough year. It's been a tough decade.

Now, go easy.

You remember we've got a board meeting first thing in the morning.

Don't you worry about me. I'll be tucked up in bed by eight.

Happy EOFY!

Whoo! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!

Oh! Tony?

What are you doing in my bedroom?

Did you and I... Oh, I've got to get to a chemist.

It's not your bedroom.

What?

Oh, shit.

The board meeting. It's going very well.

They say hi.

Oh, morning.

They can't hear you.

Oh, you set me up.

No, I stopped protecting you. The board wants you to stand down.

Stand down? I've been the face of this company for 20 years.

Well, maybe it needs a new face.

I am the reason that people run through those doors

and blow their baby bonus on a flat screen.

Yeah, maybe once,

when the Sandringham name was still respected.

Before you had a kid with your daughter's fiance.

Accidentally. It's a new world out there, Vicki.

We are competing against discount online people.

It's something you know nothing about.

Tony, I think I'm having a stroke.

I can't feel my arm.

That's because it's stuck under some idiot's arse.

Ooh!

Oh, my God. Just unbelievable.

Am I late for work?

OUT of work.

I'm fired? No.

She said I was gonna get promoted. You will. Listen.

Let me just get home, have a shower,

and then I will get back here and we will sort this all out.

Yeah, about that serviced apartment that you live in, that we pay for -

that stops today too.

Oh, well, that's a good look, isn't it?

The CEO of the company living rough on the street.

You can stay with me if you want.

Tony, please, I've got nowhere else to go.

You know that all my money is tied up in stock options and racehorses.

Yeah, it's not my fault you have burnt every bridge you ever had

with anyone that ever loved you.

Tony, please. Please.

Alright, slither off, then, you snake!

Hey, Gary, can you give me some feedback on my jokes?

I'm probably not the best person to talk to about comedy, Eric.

Come on, you're tall. That's funny.

How about this one?

The other day, I went to the sperm bank and they asked me,

"Do you want to make a deposit?"

Nah. Withdrawal!

Come on, that's gold.

You can't say that at a kids' party, Eric.

You don't know how many of them are IVF.

All good. I've got a killer set lined up for the kids.

Like, fairy bread.

Like, what's up with that? It's like, is it for fairies or for people?

Gary. Why are you dressed for work?

I'm on standby at the mosque. On your daughter's birthday?

I knew this job would be problematic.

It's good, honest work.

You lied about being a Muslim to get the job.

Brother-in-law, fake Muslim, works at a mosque.

Stop using my life as a routine.

Guys, don't freak out, but we are out of celery sticks

for the lolly bags.

Can everyone just keep in mind that I'm trying to create

golden memories for my child?

I don't want anyone screwing that up.

Alright, well, then just breathe. Visualise peak joy.

And exhale.

Mmm. Peak joy, peak joy, peak joy.

Ah, doing security for the party?

No.

Hey, Dad, is this funny? So, fairy bread, is it...

No.

Hi. Just a little bit of housekeeping.

No shoes or food inside.

Snack table all very, very healthy.

A very warm welcome to my anti-vax friends. Keep your kids in the pen.

Alright, welcome, everyone, to Rian's party.

Oh, I just want to thank my whole team - Gary, my husband.

Dad, thanks for letting us move back in while we save some money.

Eric, my little brother, for giving up your Lego room for Rian.

And last but not least, my bestie, my yoga wife, my live-in life coach,

my sometimes nanny Nicky.

Don't forget about me!

Special delivery for the birthday girl.

Horse-some!

Ah, Vicki, what have I told you about showing up here

on one of your redemption benders?

Relax, Don. I'm just here for Rylan's birthday.

It's Rian. That's what I said.

Hello, darling. I'm Sando, I'm your grandma.

And this is for you. Mum! Did you get me one?

Eric, hold your horses. No, you hold yours.

I thought my grandma was dead.

Dead to us, sweetie.

You thank her for the gift, but we can't accept it.

Her and the horse have to go.

Oh.

Well, it was worth a try.

Alright, kids, I'm very sorry,

but it looks like Doctor Zhivago here has to go off to horsey heaven.