Nobody Dies (Ander Mens)

- You're going to pay for my brother.

I should be the one paying.

Okay, new plan.

You get Erica, we get Daniel.

Shit plan.

Okay.

Fuck everything.

(man groans)

(man groans)

Shit.

It's my turn.

It's probably only fair.

Considering the amount of death I dish out,

he was bound to come my way.

Don't let my peaceful expression fool you.

I'm quite unhappy, and hurt like hell.

How did we get here?

Well, it's all Daniel's fault.

No, that's not Daniel.

And this isn't heaven either.

Here, I'm still full of life.

Well, alive at least.

That's me, in my special place,

with a special kind of guy.

This is my special kind of day.

- Do you think people can change?

I'm not that deep.

- You're not answering my question.

No.

No?

- I believe people can make changes to their lives,

become vegan, religious, taste in music,

but we are who we are.

Thieves steal, murderers murder, and pedophiles, well...

- I love crocodiles,

but they give most people the creeps.

Those dead eyes, they just stare across the water.

But they're bloody clever.

She catches her prey, drags it to the bottom,

weighs it down, where it stays and rots.

I love crocodiles.

Merciless.

Fearless.

Timeless.

- Sir, you're a highly regarded client.

Really highly regarded.

I just think we needn't hang up on each other again.

This, it's business.

We're grownups.

We're not kids at some farm trying to hit each other

with clay sticks or something.

Yeah.

No, Wyngaard's gone.

It's Daniel.

Daniel Niemand?

Yeah, from Accounts.

Yes, sir, the fact is, let's just,

your account's 1.78 million in the red.

And this call is because,

see, sir, I see your wife and children are in New Zealand?

Looks fun.

And that you've recently sold your house?

Congrats.

Which brings me to the question,

it's just really just a question,

sir, are you going to settle your account with us,

or are you gonna emigrate?

Sir?

Hm.

Hey there.

Hey, hey, you stop that.

Stop it!

Stop.

Don't spray me, hey, don't.

No, you don't, hey.

Don't. Stop.

Naughty child, stop that, stop.

- Excuse me, what the hell are you doing?

No, no, nothing.

Leave my kid alone!

- She's throwing... - You sicko, don't touch her!

I'll call the cops! - Okay, I'll go.

- I'll call the police, watch me.

Just get away.

(Daniel yelps)

Hey, babe.

- What the fuck happened to your suit?

- A little girl threw a doughnut at me.

What did you do?

Nothing.

I just gave her a doughnut.

Why would you do that?

I was just sitting there,

then she liked my doughnut, so I thought I'd be nice

and, you know, give her the doughnut, you know.

Bloody hell, what happened?

- Apparently, the girl he was with did that.

I wasn't "with" a girl.

Whatever, Daniel.

- Come in, no one cares. - But, babe.

Babe. - Thank you so much.

- It'll be one of the... - Excuse me, Reverend.

- Sure, sure. - It'll be amazing.

Cousin Daniel.

Cousin Daniel.

I'm so glad you could make it.

Thank you. - Sorry.

Why is Schalk here?

- You got my email about the dress code, right?

Yeah.

- Magriet will squeeze my balls blue if I forget.

- I can imagine. - Daniel?

- Babe. - Oh.

Oh, it's the other Cousin Daniel.

Oh.

For a moment there, I thought your friendly cousin

had brought home a hobo again.

They're people too.

- You're probably putting something else on

for the photos, right?

- Don't worry about him, Magriet.

He'll look perfect.

Come. - Excuse me.

There's a bit on your nose.

Oh, come on,

it's totally fine. - It's your family.

- It's fine, they'll clean him up.

- Ugh. - It's fine.

It's fine, babes, just breathe, babes.

- I thought your dad walking out on us

would be the biggest disgrace.

- Mom, it really wasn't my fault.

- Why do you keep doing this to me?

Doing what?

Ugh, what a mess.

- This was one of Daniel's old ones.

It might fit.

That was the best I could do.

Mm.

- I wanted to do this sooner, but you were late.

I'm not having a great day.

Schalk and I are together.

Schalk?

Our marriage counselor Schalk?

Yes.

Since when?

- I would say somewhere around the third session.

One of our individual sessions.

It was one thing and then another.

You know how these things happen.

Have you two...

It doesn't really matter.

Doesn't matter?

- No, I wanna chat about something else.

Chat?

- It's Schalk's professional opinion

that if I wanna be healed, we should get divorced.

He says he's seen this happen to lots of couples.

- Maybe we should just connect a bit.

Come here, just... - Mm-mm.

Just come here.

Is this about the money?

'Cause if it's about the money...

- Daniel, please, just sign the papers.

I won't ask for anything.

I just want the house.

And the money.

But all your things are at your apartment, anyway, right?

Things are actually working out wonderfully,

don't you think?

Go on, Daniel, take this off.

God, it stinks.

Taking these photos...

- Mom? - Before the wedding's

a great idea.

Cousin Daniel has always been

forward thinking. - We have to talk.

- Oh. - Thank you.

Yes, pardon me.

So she gave it to you.

Mom?

- You're holding her back, Daniel.

Back from what?

She's outgrown you.

I mean, you're without any ambition, and lately, so passive.

It must have been very frustrating for her, I can imagine.

Hi.

- I'm sorry, son, but everyone thinks it's for the best.

Who's "everyone"?

- It's all my fault, Pauline. - Mom.

Mom?

- I should've known after 30 hours in labor...

Just like his dad.