The Mudge Boy

[ PANTING 1

[ PANTING 1

SHE'S NOT COMING TODAY.

TOMORROW EITHER.

HELLO, MISS POLLY-O.

THANK YOU, HANNAH.

WOW, COUSIN JESSICA.

YOUR FIRST THIS WEEK.

MOM WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY PROUD.

HI, CHICKEN.

HEY.

I CAN CLEAN IT UP.

GO IN THE HOUSE.

BRING THEM EGGS WITH YOU.

MISS BLODGETT SAID YOU SHOULD FIX THE FRONT STEP.

MM-HMM.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

IT WAS FINE.

HOW'S YOUR SUPPER?

IT'S GOOD.

"HOW WAS YOUR DAY, DUNCAN?"

GOOD.

"DID YOU TELL YOUR FATHER ABOUT OLD RED HEN?"

"I HAD TO BURY ANOTHER ONE"

"OF MY CHICKENS TODAY, EDGAR -- OLD AGE."

"DUNCAN PLAYED THE MINISTER. SHOULD'VE SEEN HIM--"

JUST DON'T. "NOW, EDGAR,"

"DEATH'S AS MUCH A PART OF LIFE AS LIVING."

STOP, STOP IT. STOP IT!

I'M GOING TO HAVE A SMOKE.

THAT IT?

THAT'S ALL OF IT. LOOK AT THAT.

FOLLOWS HIM LIKE A LITTLE PUPPY DOG.

THAT CHICKEN BELONGS WITH THE OTHERS.

NACNUD EGDUM -- THAT'S MY NAME BACKWARDS.

DUNCAN MUDGE IS

NACNUD EGDUM.

YOU GO...M-U-D-G-E, E-G-D-U-M.

EGDUM.

EGG DUMB, HUH?

YEAH, IT'S KIND OF FUNNY.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.

JUSTER PELKEY IS, UH--

HOW ABOUT TAKING SOME CHICKENS HOME?

THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

OK.

GO GRAB HIM TWO GOOD ONES.

THEY ARE NOT YOURS TO GIVE.

YOU MIND YOUR MANNERS

AND GET THE MAN HIS CHICKENS.

HEY...

YOU HEAR ME?

I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE TROUBLE--

YOU AIN'T TROUBLE.

SORRY, JUSTER.

THAT'S OK, DUNCAN.

HOW COME DUNCAN DON'T HELP YOU?

HE HELPS OUT.

COUSIN JESSICA, YOU'RE GOING TO GO LIVE AT JUSTER'S HOUSE.

[CLUCKING 1

IT'S OK, IT'S OK.

MARILLA THE GORILLA IS GOING WITH YOU.

I KNOW...l KNOW.

I'LL MISS YOU TOO.

JUST MAKE SURE YOU LAY LOTS OF EGGS FOR HIM, OK?

HE'S NICE.

I DIDN'T KNOW WOMEN HAD HEART ATTACKS LIKE THAT.

YEAH.

HEARD IT KNOCKED HER RIGHT OFF HER BIKE -- THAT TRUE?

YEP, YEP.

BOY...THOSE ARE BIG ONES, DUNCAN.

THEY'RE GOOD LAYERS.

THEM ARE BEAUTIES.

GIVE THEM TO ME.

HEY, NOT LIKE THAT! YOU'LL HURT THEM.

POOR LITTLE THINGS.

THEY'LL BE GOOD EATING.

HE'S A FUNNY KID, EDGAR.

YOU BETTER GET THESE HOME.

[MOOING 1

HEY, GIRL.

WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING?

I WAS JUST PETTING HER.

SHE'LL SUCK YOUR DICK

IF YOU LET HER.

WELL, I WOULDN'T LET HER.

I'M JUST KIDDING YOU, DUNCAN.

I KNOW.

: HEY! SHE AIN'T GONNA MILK HERSELF.

NO SHIT. REALLY?

I'M JUST TALKING TO MY FRIEND

OVER HERE.

YOU'RE A GOD DAMN

SMART ASS, AIN'T YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? LET'S GO.

HE'S JUST MAD 'CAUSE HE LOST HIS LICENSE.

NICE CHICKEN.

DO YOU WANT TO HOLD HER?

NO.

I GOT TO GO IN.

COME ON.

DO YOU NEED ANY EGGS?

: WE'RE LEAVING SHORTLY.

I'M ALMOST READY.

6 ON A HILL FAR AWAY 6

6 STOOD AN OLD RUGGED CROSS 6

6 THE EMBLEM OF SUFFERING 6

6 AND SHAME 6

6 AND I LOVE 6

6 THAT OLD CROSS 6

6 WHERE THE DEAREST AND BEST 6

6 FOR A WORLD OF LOST SINNERS WAS SLAIN 6

[ SNICKERING 1

6 SO, I'LL CHERISH 6

6 THE OLD RUGGED CROSS 6

6 TILL THE MOMENT, AT LAST 6

6 I LAY DOWN 6

6 I WILL CLING TO THE OLD RUGGED CROSS 6

6 AND EXCHANGE IT SOME DAY FOR A CROWN 6

[ CLAMOURING 1

WHERE'S MY EGGS, YOUNG MAN?

OH, I FORGOT.

UM...I'LL BRING THEM BY AFTER CHURCH.

DUNCAN'S IT.

I CAN'T GET OVER IT. HE'S THE SPITTING IMAGE OF LYDIA.

YOU MUST SEE IT, EDGAR.

YEAH, I SEE IT.

MORE AND MORE LIKE HER EVERY TIME I SEE HIM.

GOOD MORNING. HOW ARE YOU?

TRACEY!

TRACEY! WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?

WE'RE LEAVING.

OH, HE WENT OFF DOWNSTAIRS.

I'LL GO GET HIM.

THANKS -- COME ON, LET'S GO.

: GOD, YOU GOT BEAUTIFUL TITS.

YOU'RE SEXY AS HELL.

: ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS?

YEAH, TAKE OFF YOUR PANTIES.

GOD, PERRY, YOU'RE ALL SWEATY.

FUCK.

OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

PERRY?

PERRY.

WHAT?

YOUR MOM'S LEAVING.

OH, JESUS, PERRY.

HI, DUNCAN.

HI. WHERE YOU GOING?

YEAH...YOUR MOM IS LEAVING.

TELL H6l I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

I GOT TO SHIT.

OK.

HOP IN, SCOTTY.

COME ON, BOYS.

HE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.

HE WAS JUST DOWN THERE, UM...BY HIMSELF.

: THANKS, DUNCAN.

[ TRACEY 1: BYE, DUNCAN.

[CLUCKING 1

EDGAR, GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

'MORNING, REVEREND.

HOW ARE YOU BOYS MAKING OUT?

UH, WE'RE FINE, REVEREND. DOING JUST FINE.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT CHICKEN?

: HEY, CHICKEN BOY!

: LOOK, THE EGG LADY.

: YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. "I'LL HAVE A DOZEN."

: "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE, TRAVIS."

: WE NEED MORE BEER.

ALL RIGHT, TRAVIS, 'FESS UP.

I TOLD YOU, I'M BROKE TILL MONDAY, MAN.

[ SCOTTY 1: WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

: SCOTTY, YOU NEVER HAVE MONEY. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME

YOU BOUGHT THE BEER?

HMM, LET ME SEE, NEVER.

: FUCK!

: EASY ON MY WHEELS, BIG FELLA. I'M TRYING.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? TURN HIM UPSIDE DOWN AND SHAKE HIM?

I GOT MONEY.

HOW MUCH?

THAT'LL DO.

: I WANT SOME GUM.

: GET SOME CHIPS. I'M STARVING.

NICE TURD, DUNCAN.

HEY, TRAVIS, CHECK OUT HIS TURD!

OH, THAT'S A NICE ONE, PUMPKIN.

: DUNCAN, BRING YOUR CHICKEN OVER HERE.

HA, HA, OH, MY GOD.

SHE IS SO CUTE. CAN I HOLD HER?

SURE.

HEY, WHO CUTS YOUR HAIR, DUNCAN?

YOUR GRANDMA, HA, HA...

NO.

MY DAD.

RIGHT, HA...

OK.

AWW, SHE'S SWEET.

WHAT'S HER NAME?

CHICKEN.