Love Dump

Coco, stop!

Music is so gauche.

It's the sounds of the poor.

Coco, tree! Coco!

I love music.

If you really want to listen to true music...

Aah!

...you should listen to a brook.

Oh.

No, no, no!

Oh, my God!

I'm so sorry.

It's all right.

Cute dog.

He's actually not my dog. He's my client.

Oh.

Oh, um, you're bleeding.

Oh, geez.

What'd you do to me, Coco?

Let me get you cleaned up.

I have a first aid kit on me at all times.

Jessica, he'll be fine.

Let him deal with his... "client."

Barry, he's bleeding.

Come with me.

Oh, you're a nurse?

No.

You really saved me.

How can I ever repay you?

Don't worry about it.

No, come on. What do you want? Name a price.

Like, 20?

Seriously, it's all right. I'm happy your pants are fixed.

Fifty.

Fifty?

Okay.

Okay.

Seriously, thank you.

Goodbye, stranger.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

See ya.

Toodles.

Bye!

Bye.

See ya.

Yeah, gosh.

Hey, where are you going?

Two words: L.A.

Geez, thanks for the invite.

When are you coming back?

I'm not coming back, Todd.

Todd... Todd... Todd...

You are definitely my soulmate.

You're the only one who gets me, Todd.

Groceries were $30.

I'll Chase QuickPay you.

Liana!

In here!

Slow down.

Can you explain to me what the hell is going on?

Pico DeGala is opening a new store in L.A.

She's offering me one million to oversee it.

This is huge for me, Todd,

and I just can't afford to be in something right now.

Todd. Todd. Todd!

I love you, Todd.

I'm definitely not gonna break up with you, Todd.

You're the only one who can make me laugh.

Nothing is more important than this relationship.

I hate L.A.

I love being with you.

Are these yours?

Yeah.

Okay.

Liana!

Out here!

We can try long distance.

I can't, Todd. I'm sorry.

I'm not a Skype girl.

I can't just stare and look at a face.

It's too much. It's too much!

Be well.

Drive.

Hey, Jessica. I got a new load of garbage for you.

Chester! Oh!

I've been waiting for you. Got any good finds for me?

-Take your pick of the litter. -Ooh!

You know, I always say this, but Jessica,

when are you gonna come work for me?

Every week, I come here with a new bag of garbage.

You love trash so much.

Chester, I already told you,

one person's garbage is another person's treasure.

That's what my shop is all about.

Even this old semen-covered banana peel?

-Is this treasure? -Chester, you're crazy!

Chester, I've known you just about my whole life.

When are you gonna finally settle down, huh?

Once you're back on the market again.

Chester!

Oh, but in all seriousness, Jessica,

I'm never gonna settle down.

I've chosen this life of garbage, but you?

You deserve to find love outside of this place.

Truth be told, ever since my dad disappeared when I was little,

I've always been afraid of putting myself out there.

You know, really out there.

Well, I think you're a beautiful person, Jessica,

who deserves to be loved and find love out of here.

Plus, you got a nice little rack

that any sick freak would lick their little fingers

and yell, "Yee-haw, damn!"

Yee-haw, hoo-hoo!

Chester!

You're crazy!

Crazy!

Aw.

The last time I ate shrimp,

I found out I was adopted.

You're kidding.

-I am kidding. -Okay...

Excuse me?

Little help?

Oh, my God.

You're that guy from To Catch a Predator.

-What? -Oh, my God, yes.

-No. -Yes.

Jessica, this guy was on To Catch a Predator.

You look just like it.

You can take your break, Patio.

You too, Gina.

If you're looking for a job, we don't hire perverts.

Listen, I wasn't on To Catch--

Whoa.

You're pants guy.

You're mustard mouth.

So... What can I help you find?

I just wanted to get rid of some things. My girl...

roommate... moved out, and...

she left all her stuff behind.

You and your roommate must have been close.

Yeah... we were.

So, you collect trash and sell it?

It's a good idea, right?

I can't take full credit.

My dad opened this place with me when I was three.

A young entrepreneur.

I like it.

People just get tired of things, you know?

They no longer find value in the things that brought them so much joy.

Like this little cock right here.

My dad found it behind a Popeyes on Western Avenue.

It's worth an easy 10,000 grand.

This book, Snake Lake, was based on a true story about my old uncle.

How old was he?

72, but has the body of a 17-year-old.

What about that birdhouse?

That's not for sale.

You okay?

Me and my dad were building it before he disappeared.

It's a birdhouse made entirely of popsicle sticks,

with little jokes on them.

We only needed one more popsicle stick to complete the birdhouse.

I'm sorry.

Can't you just get another one?

It's not like that, okay?

The popsicle stick I'm looking for has a specific joke on it.

My dad read it to me a few minutes before he disappeared.

Until I find that popsicle stick...

the birdhouse will never be complete.

Where'd your dad go?

Nobody knows.

The last time I saw him, I was six,

and he was collecting garbage behind a Forever 31.

We could always find the best crap back there.

I like to think he's somewhere across the world,

finding garbage in the Tigris River

or salvaging scraps in the swamps of Brazil

or maybe even little buried treasures and the ancient relics of...

-Kansas. -

But I think he's probably dead.

He sounds amazing.

He was.

He loved trash more than anyone I know.

All right, here are your refurbished retainers,

your tin foil glasses,

and your plate frisbee.

Thank you very much.

Hey...

I was wondering if I could get your number.

You know, in case I need to dump more trash. Or...

Or...?

Or in case I lose the retainer.

Or...?

Or in case I need a number

to help me count.

Or...?