Batwoman

Previously on "Batwoman"...

Seriously, Kate. You can't be going out

in Gotham every night pretending to be Batman.

Catherine Hamilton's investigators found

bones, skull fragments of a little girl.

It's Beth.

Who the hell are you?

I'm Alice.

How do you do?

I think Alice is Beth.

I know that you want to believe that Beth is alive.

I do, too, but facts are facts.

My father gave up on me,

and I want to make him suffer

the way that I did!

_

"Will you walk a little faster?"

Said a whiting to a snail.

"There's a porpoise close behind us,

and he's treading on my tail.

See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance.

They are waiting on the shingle...

Will you come and join the dance?"

"Will you, won't you, will you, won't you?

Will you come and join the dance?"

Aah!

Alice figured me out, Bruce.

I put on your suit to terrify her,

but it can't protect me if she knows who I am.

I lost my advantage,

and in the process, I gave Gotham their hero back.

I didn't sign up for this part.

I never meant to give the city so much hope.

I can't do this.

I'm not you.

Subtle.

Hmm. I guess it's broken.

It's supposed to call Batman.

- What do you want? - What happened to your Batsuit knockoff, Kate?

Too tight, no give,

or did you just realize that

you accidentally blew a dog whistle

that you can't unblow?

I wore it to protect myself from you and your goons.

And in the process, you made everyone horny for Batman.

All these poor souls gazing up at the Bat-light,

thinking, "My life is about to change."

No. Still sucks.

Are you suggesting that I put it back on?

No. Being a hero is not your strong suit.

I would know, seeing as you let Dad declare me dead.

Where's my boyfriend?

Hanging in there.

You like damaged men.

He's badly damaged.

You may want to get him back soon.

Okay. I'll play. How?

Show me you can stop killing people.

Last 24 hours,

and I'll reassess.

Rats!

I lost my pocket watch.

And I lost my sister: Beth. Remember her?

Yeah. I would like her back.

Ohh! You are going to be very annoying, aren't you?

Very.

Fine. No killing,

but only for my darling Dodgson's sake,

not for Beth.

Beth has gone down, down, down the rabbit hole,

and she's never coming back.

Much like Gotham's beloved... Bat.

You've worked hard to get to where you are.

You deserve to feel safe. Don't you want your kids

to be able to play outside again?

Elliot Estates are Gotham's walls within the walls

with on-site 24-hour Crows security

and a safe room in every unit.

Have you been mugged?

Has your property been vandalized?

At Elliot Estates, you don't ever have to

worry about that again.

How do I know?

I'm Tommy Elliot,

and I'm here to make Gotham safe again.

Nice. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Now I am that annoyingly overprotective husband.

You're married.

Yeah, yeah. Nice. Nice.

Are you happy?

Here. Lean in.

You're a little more aggressive than usual.

What's the problem? You can't take it?

All right.

You need to move on.

Ha ha ha!

You know, most couples just have breakfast together.

I've got an energy bar in my bag.

Oh. Can we split it?

Hmm. Well, front desk says the commander's here.

I got to go.

You can watch it a million times.

Alice still gets away at the end.

No one's taken responsibility for the attack.

Trail's gone cold.

Who'd want her dead when she's already in custody?

Besides most of Gotham?

What can I do for you, Agent Moore?

I think I can be helpful, sir.

Considering Alice could attack again at any time,

I was hoping to get your approval

for a special assignment.

Okay, people. Vesper Fairchild here.

So I'm staring at my wall chart.

Has it really been 10 days without a Batman sighting?

Anyone else feeling ghosted?

Talk to me, Gotham. Where's Batman?

Just gonna pinch a little bit.

3... 2...

And... you're done.

Wow. You are so brave. High-five.

Ha ha!

Late night?

Sophie, hey.

If you're looking for Kate, she's not here.

In fact, she rarely comes home.

You know, I wouldn't be surprised

if she was, uh, dating again,

seeing as she's single

and gorgeous

and emotionally available.

Do you normally stay out all night

when a psychopath is targeting your family?

What was I supposed to do,

not go to Kylie Q's Glam Jam and miss next summer's colors?

You're in danger, Mary.

Okay. Well, I also have a life, so...

So your father just made me your bodyguard.

I'm sorry. What?

That is not your desk.

Shh.

Do you hear that?

That is the sound of me

officially having more money

than Bruce Wayne.

Tommy Elliot.

How the hell did you even get in here?

Oh. What's up, Candy Kane?

What? Bruce never showed you the hide-a-key?

Wait. I thought you were... you were

buffing up on some lesbian ninja retreat.

Why are you here, Tommy?

Come here. Check it out.

Now you see this building?

I just bought it.

5 stories taller than Wayne Tower.

Bruce and Tommy, childhood friends

who still act like children.

What is a friend?

A single sole dwelling in two bodies, right?

Is that some secret society thing?

Heh. It's an Aristotle thing.

Gotham has gotten all intense

now that Batman's back.

I mean, have you heard?

Gotham's Dark Knight has the city swooning again.

I saw the picture. Yeah. It was, uh...

Pixelated.

Wow. I... that's your reaction?

The guy had... your mom

and your sister in his win column.

He blinked...

And they died.

Oh, Kate. I thought you'd be more upset.

I've had time to process.

Batman saved your mom's life a few years later.

Guess he's not a total deadbeat, you know?

So, um, where's, uh, Brucey boy?

I wanted to, uh, invite him to celebrate

my new pile of bricks.

Bruce hasn't been in Gotham for 3 years.

- You know that. - Yeah, but he's back now.

- No, he's not. - Pretty sure he is.

Trust me. I'd know.

Well, maybe just leave it on his desk.

Will do.

Where are you?

Where are you?

Needless to say, this is not what

Wayne's advanced weaponry vault should look like.

The tech in here is top secret.

If something was taken, it's bad.

Had to be Alice's gang, right?

Did you pull the security footage?

They jammed the cameras.

It'll take a minute to figure out what they took,

but in the meantime, I'll call Bruce,

tell him what happened.

You really expect him to answer?

One of his properties containing millions of dollars worth