Room 104

Ohhh!

Fuck! Fuckin' shit. Guys!

Guys, guys.

I'm 30, and I'm a fucking lyft driver. Fuck me.

- Fuck me. - Tanya: You don't even look 25.

And that mask is gonna make you look like you're 20.

And you are getting fucking hotter and smarter

and more awesomer as you get older,

so don't even worry about it, right?

You guys sound like my parents.

That's... a good thing, right?

"Oh, my parents, they're always like boosting me

and like complimenting me, it's just so hard..."

- Shut up. - Matty: "Mom and dad love you..."

- We love you, honey. - Love you.

I love you guys, too.

You look like a beautiful marshmallow right now.

What?

Matty: You guys.

Wait. Wait. Wait, wait.

We have... we need to eat some real food.

- On it. - Because otherwise, uh,

we're gonna green out

and ruin your entire birthday weekend.

This isn't food?

Two veggie lovers soy cheese gluten-free pizza crust,

here in less then 20 minutes!

Yeah! Food! - It's on!

Matty: Ok, one, two, three.

Oh, yeah. - Perfect.

Smiles.

Yeah.

Ok, wait. No, hold on.

It's very awkward.

My fat face.

No, hold on.

I look really good there.

Ok. That's a good filter.

Don't post that!

- Tanya: Jesus, dude. - Fuckin' shit.

What the fuck, man?

Sorry, I, uh, uh, um...

I just, um... we shouldn't be posting

any images on Twitter or insta-stories

or, um, any Facebook or anything like that.

Fucking shit. I...

Ok.

Why?

Karen.

I thought you said she couldn't come.

You didn't invite her.

Whoa!

You guys. I...

It's my fuckin' 30th, I just...

I couldn't, this weekend.

- Like, I wanted it to be... - US.

I just wanted it to be this.

Is that... am I a terrible person?

Matty: No. No. Look.

She's your sister, so, I mean...

I mean, she would be devastated if she found out.

Yep.

Like...

Fine, I'll say it.

We're all really glad she's not here. She sucks!

- Matty: She's the worst! - It's so true!

Especially since the divorce,

she's been like double-triple desperate

and weirdo lately.

I know. I... I... I feel awful,

I know I'm smiling, I can feel my face smiling,

but I feel fucking horrible, and I, you know, I couldn't.

thank you for preserving this weekend.

You are an amazing friend to US.

Even though you are a fucking terrible sister.

Pizza! Yeah.

Finally.

Hi, guys!

How's it goin'?

Karen. Uh... you made it.

Um... um... come in.

Grace: Uh, um...

I just assumed you weren't gonna come,

with everything that's been going on, uh...

We, uh, we kinda got started without you,

sorry about that.

Huh.

When you didn't respond to the invite,

I just assumed that you were too busy to...

You sent me an invite?

Of course I did! I mean, it's my 30th birthday,

why wouldn't I want my sister there?

I didn't get an invite.

You didn't? - Nope.

I just found out about this a little while ago.

From mom.

Matty: That must have felt terrible

to think that maybe grace didn't send you an invite.

But obviously she did, because, um,

she's your sister.

But it's... you know, they just...

It's the damn email servers.

They just... - Tanya: Yeah.

They'll send any old email into spam these days.

They don't care how important it is, they just...

Straight to your junk... folder.

Um, that's probably what happened.

'Cause mine was in the... in that folder.

But I found it.

Yeah. Mine too. Was in the junk folder.

Oh.

That, uh, must have been what happened.

Junk folder. Spam.

Fuckin' spam, man.

You know, spam.

Karen: Right. So...

Well, the good news is, you're here now,

and now we can all celebrate together!

The pizza's... pizza's here.

Tanya: Thank god.

Oh. Do you know what we should do later?

A little group selfie action to commemorate the occasion.

Yeah.

Karen: Wow, you guys are really

hittin' that ganja tonight, huh?

- Well, it's a party. - Yeah, I gue...

I don't know, I've just never really...

Felt like I needed that, ya know?

Not that I'm a prude or anything, it just...

I guess I just don't have those inhibitions.

Life is just fun enough for me as is.

I don't need the extra lube.

Sure you don't wanna try it?

Yeah. No, I'm fine. But thank you. You do you.

Ok.

How's your love life these days, Matty?

- It's pretty good. Thanks. - Yeah? Anything steady?

Not really. Not really.

So just hookin' up a bunch...

With a bunch of guys?

Yeah. Hookin' up with a bunch of guys.

'Cause it's what I do. 'Cause I'm gay. Right?

Gay.

When did you figure that out?

Hmm?

That you wanted to be gay.

Should we go out? - That I...

- That I wanted to be gay? - Mm-hmm.

Karen, it's not actually a choice.

Well, have you never been with a girl before?

Yeah, I mean, in high school before I came out.

Exactly. So you technically can be with a girl.

- Oh, my god. - Shall we go to Miller's? Get $3 pbrs?

I'm just saying that I think about it. Ok?

Ya know, for myself. Like, when I see boobs, I know I'm not gay,

but... kinda makes me tingle a little bit, ya know?

Makes my crotch tickle.

And I'm just wondering if you get that when you see boobs.

Or pussies. - Grace: Karen...

I'm curious!

Matty gets it, right?

No, I don't tingle

when I see pussies, 'cause I am gay,

- I'm a gay man... - Right. But I wonder

if that's because you prefer to be gay, or...

It's not a fucking preference, Karen,

'cause if it were, everybody would prefer to be gay!

Ok. So if you closed your eyes right now

and I started to jerk you off, you're telling me that you wouldn't enjoy it?

If I showed you my tits you wouldn't wanna

- lick them and suck on 'em? - Karen, come on!

Come on, Matty. - What?!

Gimme that d!

Gimme that d, Matty, 'cause I wanna whack it!

Oh, my god! - Got him!

Jesus! Fuck!

Look who got a little bit jealous!

Tanya! - All right.

Karen: Oh.

Matty, check out dem tig ole Tanya bitties!

Whoo! Dem tig ole bitties!

Fuck, man, Jesus!

Fuck!

Karen: Oh, wow!

Just tryin' to have a little fun.

Ya got great titties, Tanya.

And Matty, I know you like dem boys.

Ok? Dem hairy, hairy boys

with dem hairy, hairy balls.

Just messin' around.

Fuck this. I'm gonna get some air.