The first 200 lines.
- Wait up. - Yeah, you should keep up.
I can keep up.
Whoa!
Neato!
A mysterious, boarded-up cave.
It might be filled with lost prehistoric life forms.
Or Mesoamerican gold.
Uh, ladies first.
Ha ha! Good thing you've got your smarts, Poindexter.
I've got the other thing.
What is it called? Oh, right, punching.
Cool. Splinters.
Whoa! It's so creepy in here.
Hey, don't worry, bro.
Wherever we go, we go together.
Don't forget to leave our names so they know who owns the place.
Pines, Pines, Pines, Pines.
Finally, after all these long years of waiting,
you're actually here.
Brother!
Ow! What the heck was that for?
This was an insanely risky move,
restarting the portal.
Didn't you read my warnings?
Warnings, schmarnings.
How's about maybe a thanks for saving you
from what appears to be, I don't know,
some kinda sci-fi sideburn dimension.
Thank you? You really think I'm gonna thank you
after what you did 30 years ago?
What I did?
Why, you ungrateful...
Don't expect me to go easy on you
just because you're family.
Hey, hi. Mabel here.
Quick question.
What the heck is going on here?
Stan, you didn't tell me there were children down here.
And some sort of large, hairless gopher.
Ha ha, I get that a lot.
They're your family, Poindexter.
Shermy's grandkids.
I have a niece, and nephew?
Greetings. Do kids still say greetings?
I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time.
Whoa, six-fingered handshake.
It's a full finger friendlier than normal.
Ha ha, I like this kid. She's weird.
I... I can't believe it.
You're the author of the journals.
You've read my journals?
I haven't just read them.
I've lived them.
I've been waiting for so long to meet you.
I don't know what to say. I have so many questions.
I think I'm gonna throw up.
No, no, false alarm.
Just gotta ride it out.
Listen, there'll be time for introductions later.
But first, tell me, Stan.
Are there any security breaches?
Does anyone else know about this portal?
No. Just us.
Also, maybe the entire U.S. government.
The what?!
Fan out. We're not going anywhere
till we find Stan Pines and those kids.
Okay. It's all right.
We've got a while before they find this room.
We just need to lay low and think of a plan.
Well it looks like we're stuck down here for a while.
Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious backstory?
Yes, I have some questions about all this myself, Stanley.
Stanley?
But your name is Stanford.
Wait, you took my name?
What have you been doing all these years, you knucklehead?
Yeah, Grunkle Stan, no more lies.
You owe us some answers.
What's the deal with this portal?
Why did you keep this a secret?
And what happened between you and your brother?
I'm hoping all this aligns exactly with my fan-fic, Stan.
If not, I will be very disappointed.
Okay. Okay, okay.
I know I have a lot of explaining to do.
It all started a lifetime ago.
1960-something.
Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey.
I lived with my ma and pa in the Lead Paint district
above the family pawn shop.
Dad was a strict man.
Tough as a cinder block, and not easily impressed.
I'm not impressed.
Mom was a pathological liar,
which served her well as a phone psychic.
That'll be 99 cents an hour.
No, you're overpriced.
Yeah, I predicted you were gonna hang up.
And then, there was my nerdy twin brother Stanford.
As if his abnormally high IQ wasn't enough,
he also had a rare birth defect--
six fingers on each hand,
which might've explained his obsession
with sci-fi mystery weirdness.
As for me, I had what Mom liked to call personality.
But as different as we were,
we were the perfect team,
and every day, we'd wander the beach,
looking for adventure.
Whoa!
A shipwrecked sailboat.
Possibly haunted by pirate ghosts.
This is the greatest thing I've ever seen.
And I once saw a dead rat floating in a bucket.
Ew. What's wrong with you?
Huh. You know what this thing's missing?
Flags.
Kings of New Jersey, kings of New Jersey,
kings of New Jersey!
I dub thee the Stan O' War.
Ow! What the heck?
Well, well, if it ain't the loser twins.
Nice boat. You get it at the dump?
You would know, Crampelter. Get lost!
Listen, dorks, and listen good.
You're a six-fingered freak,
and you're just a dumber, sweatier version of him.
And you're lucky you have each other,
because neither of you will ever make any friends.
Dorks and losers.
Hey, don't let those idiots get to you.
But I am a freak.
I just wonder if there's anywhere in the world
where weirdos like me fit in.
Hey, chin up, buddy. Look.
One of these days, you and me are gonna
sail away from this dumb town.
We'll hunt for treasure, get all the girls,
and be an unstoppable team of adventurers.
You really mean it?
- High six? - High six.
Those were the good times.
Those bullies may have been right about us
not making many friends, but when push comes to shove,
you only really need one.
Ford's brain seemed to get more impressive every year.
So did our pet project.
Sure, I got in more than my fair share of trouble,
but when your brother's the smartest kid in school,
you've always got a leg up on the competition.
The future was looking bright for both of us,
till one day.
Pines twins to the principal's office.
Pines twins to the principal's office.
Ah, great. What is it this time?
Not you. Him.
Now, Mr. Pines, I'd like to speak with you
very frankly, if I may.
Very frankly is the only way I speak.
You have two sons.
One of them is incredibly gifted.
The other one is standing outside this room, and his name's Stanley.
What are you saying?
I'm saying your son Stanford is a genius!
All of his teachers are going bananas
over his science fair experiment.
You ever heard of West Coast Tech?
Best college in the country.
Their graduates turn science fiction
into science fact.
The admissions team is visiting tomorrow
to check out Stanford's experiment.
Your son may be a future millionaire, Mr. Pines.
I'm impressed.
But what about our little free spirit Stanley?
That clown? At this rate,
he'll be lucky to graduate high school.
Look, there's a saltwater taffy store on the dock,
and somebody's gotta get paid to scrape the barnacles off of it.
Stanford's going places, but hey, look on the bright side.
At least you'll have one son here in New Jersey forever.
Joke's on them if they think
you wanna go to some stuffy college
on the other side of the country.
Once we get the Stan O' War complete,
it's gonna be beaches, babes,
and international treasure hunting for us.
Look, Stan, I can't pass up a chance like this.
This school has cutting-edge programs
and multi-dimensional paradigm theory.
Be-boop. I am a nerd robot.
That's you. That's what you sound like.
Ah, well,
if the college board isn't impressed with my experiment tomorrow,
then okay, I'll do the treasure hunting thing.
And if they are?
Well, then I guess you better come visit me
on the other side of the country.
Without Ford, I was just half of a dynamic duo.
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