The Office

So, you found a band yet for your wedding ?

'Cause I'm in a band. We really rock.

Yeah, I mean, it's inevitable.

I definitely overhear some wedding preparation, but I'm fine with it.

She hears me arranging my social life...

and we both have to hear Dwight order deer urine over the internet,

so it evens out.

So I got the Save The Date.

- Yeah ? - Yeah, pretty stationary.

- Oh, thanks. - I didn't get mine yet.

There are a few people I decided not to invite.

And that might make things kind of awkward, but...

it's my wedding.

And I don't want anyone there who has called me a hussy.

Episode 21 - Season 2 Conflict resolution

Yes, thanks. Fantastic Sam's. Adult cut plus.

Comes with a shampoo and blow dry.

We're doing I.D. photos today.

Gotta represent.

On or off ?

Off.

What is on your face ?

Is that a disguise ?

Excuse me.

Clown paint.

I.D. badges are long overdue.

Security in this office park is a joke.

Last year I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag.

I sat at my desk all day

with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch.

Can you imagine if I was deranged ?

That's a nice tie.

Thank you. That is...

- who makes that ? - I don't know.

Do you mind if I wear that for the photo ?

Let's... let's keep our clothes.

It's like child abuse!

I say, if Jesus saw that, he'd freak out!

He'd freak out, Toby.

I mean, on so many levels! And I'm supposed to work there!

- I'm supposed to... - What's the deal... e... o ?

Just letting Oscar vent a little.

We would use the break room, but the photographer's back there.

- What's the problem ? - Angela.

It's just a little dispute over a poster in their workspace.

- Since Christmas. - So what, you're having a little spat ?

I forget, are you guys dating ?

Michael, can I talk to you for a second, please ?

Here's how I usually handle this. All I do is listen.

You know, these things just have a way of working themselves out.

It's like if you write someone a letter when you're really angry.

They say to keep it in your drawer for a couple days,

and then you just never end up sending it.

What do you know about conflict resolution ?

Your answer to everything is to get divorced, so...

- Okay. - Okay, what ?

That was a right decision for me and my marriage.

Well, that's not gonna fly here because in this office

it is till death do us part.

Assuming that we don't get downsized.

Pam,

would you get Angela and meet us in the conference room, please ?

A Mediator's Toolchest.

Okay, well, before we get started, you should know

that there are five different styles of conflict.

My Shaolin Temple style defeats your Monkey Style.

Can we go ? I have a lot of work to do.

This is important.

- The first style is "lose-lose". - What's the next one ?

Just, hold on, please.

Okay, if we do lose-lose, neither of you gets what you want.

Do you understand ?

You... you would both lose.

Now, I need to ask you,

do you want to pursue a lose-lose negotiation ?

Can we just skip to whatever number five is ? Win-win or whatever ?

Win-win, is number four, and number five is win-win-win.

The important difference here is with win-win-win, we all win.

Me too. I win for having successfully mediated a conflict at work.

Okay, so this is the disputed poster.

Now, one at a time, I want you to express your feelings

using "I" emotion language and no judging, or "you" statements.

I got this poster for Christmas, and I feel I want to see it every day.

It makes me feel like the babies are the true artists,

and God has a really cute sense of humor.

Come on, seriously. That ?

I don't like looking at it.

It's creepy and in bad taste, and it's just offensive to me.

It makes me think of the horrible, frigid stage mothers

who forced the babies into it.

It's kitsch. It's the opposite of art.

It destroys art. It destroys souls.

This is so much more offensive to me than hard-core porno.

- I'm talking about the kind... - Oh my God.

Let's see if we can't just brainstorm and find some creative alternatives

- that are win-win. - Win

Yes. Thank you, Pam.

How about, Angela makes the poster into a t-shirt which Oscar wears.

That way he can never see it, and whenever she looks at Oscar,

she can see it. Win-win-win.

- No. - That's... no.

Well, brainstorm. Own the solution.

- How about I leave it up ? - How about she takes it down ?

How about Angela can keep it up on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Okay, that is called a compromise.

And it is style three, and it is not ideal.

To sum up, win-win, make the poster into a t-shirt.

Win-lose, take the poster down.

Compromise, Tuesdays and Thursdays. And the answer is...

make the poster into a t-shirt.

- Win-win. - Win.

- Fine. - But...

It is done!

- No, you're all good. - Great.

Hey, Angela. I didn't have your zip code.

Thanks.

It was hand-delivered.

but I did get a Save The Date after all.

It's not my taste.

You solved it.

We can, throw that one out.

Are those all the other complaints ?

I would like to see those please.

- I can't do that. - You can't do that, huh ?

Now you and I have a conflict.

I order you to give me that file.

That...

There! No more conflict.

I had to use the win-lose on that. It was not pretty.

All right. Is that it ?

It's all Dwight's.

Every Friday at 4:00, I have a standing appointment with Dwight

for him to file a grievance against Jim.

I tell him that I'm sending them to a special file in New York.

That box is the special file in New York.

Oh, God. All right.

Why do I have to do everything ?

Are you sure ?

Oh, he's sure. Just shoot.

This, is from Kevin.

He says Stanley uses his Miracle Whip without asking.

Meredith complains that everyone talks too loud in the morning

and the lights are too bright.

Creed...

Creed is sick of looking at the redhead all day

and wants a seat facing the receptionist.

Nice.

You will notice that not one of these complaints is against me.

Actually, I have a separate folder for complaints against Michael.

This is January through March of this year.

How many of you have at one time

gone to Toby to complain about another employee ?

And, did you get what you wanted, or were you merely listened to,

you forget about your problem, and you move on ?

That is outrageous! I love this place...

and it pains me to see all of the negativity...

festering...

Today we are going to get everything out of these files

and into the open, where it can be resolved.

All right, how about the Phyllis-Angela dispute ?

- You already did me. - That's what she said.

The thing is, Angela, you are in here an awful lot.

You have complained about everybody in the office,

except Dwight, which is odd

because everyone else has had run in with Dwight.

Toby, by the way, what does "redacted" mean ?

There is a file full of complaints in here marked "redacted."

It just means whoever complained came to me later and withdrew it,

so I took their name off.

There were a bunch of complaints about Dwight

that were put in the redacted file about six months ago.

Wait! If someone has a problem with me,

why would they withdraw it six months ago ?

Let's move on. I volunteer.

Did anyone have a problem with me ?

All right, Pamela. Come on down!

Let's do it. And... okay. Just one complaint.

Actually, it has been withdrawn.

So that is no help to us. Next.

Wait, what did it say ?

"Does she have to plan her wedding on office time ?"

"Shouldn't she do that at home ?"

Who else ?

Why don't we just warm up first ? Warm up emotionally, all right ?

I have this kind of big secret about Angela.

And I've been really nice to her and I haven't told anyone, and...

what the hell ?!

Here is a Kelly complaint.

"Ryan never returns my calls." Ah, join the club.

My voice mail's real spotty... sometimes.

I didn't file a complaint. I was just talking.

To your HR representative.