My Life as a Dog (Mitt liv som hund) (Mitt liv som hund)

I should have told her everything.

Mom loved stories like that.

MY LIFE AS A DOG

It's not so bad if you think about it. It could have been worse.

Just think how that poor guy ended up who got a new kidney in Boston.

He got his name in all the papers, but he died just the same.

And what about Laika, the space dog?

They put her in a Sputnik and sent her into space.

They attached wires to her heart and brain to see how she felt.

I don 't think she felt so good.

She spun around up there for five months until her doggy bag was empty.

She starved to death.

It's important to have something like that to compare things to.

Ingemar, open the door now.

Come on.

Ingemar, this is not funny.

Open up now, Ingemar.

He can't be in there.

You know about it, eh?

I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you. I just couldn't.

I think about that woman who went to Ethiopia

to be a missionary.

They beat her to death with clubs right while she was preaching.

You have to compare all the time.

Little Frog!

I did it.

Let's see.

- Stick out your tongue. - No. I don't want to.

- Yes, you have to. - No. I changed my mind.

Yes, out with your tongue. Further!

Mix it!

Good. Now we're married.

She had to marry a man from the south.

Is it good?

Yeah. Six hundred pages. Mom read it through in three days.

She sort of reads. She photographs each page with one glance: "click".

And that's it.

I've been reading it for a week and I'm only on page 30.

Funny, fighting a war when they're from the same country.

Come on, I'll show you.

It's real easy.

Girls have a sort of bottle inside. Just like a bottle.

It's like upside-down inside them.

It looks about like this.

This is what it's like inside a girl, between her legs.

And you have to stick it in

and shoot up at this little thing.

And then there'll be a baby.

Come on, I'll show you.

No.

Ingemar, come here a minute.

Everybody understands now?

This is how it works.

Ouch!

Cut it out!

It's stuck!

Ow! It hurts.

Watch it!

If kids do this to each other, it can really get stuck!

Can I help?

No, thanks.

Why do you do these things?

- What? - Like in the cellar just now.

It wasn't me.

Oh, why do you do it?

I don't know. I guess it's menopause.

Mom.

Go away!

I think about that guy who saw a Tarzan movie.

He grabbed a high-voltage wire to swing on and fell dead on the spot.

You should never think you're Tarzan.

Get up!

You overslept, for God's sake!

What the hell have you done?

Shut up!

- You have to make breakfast. - I 'm making it now.

Don't mention this.

Promise.

If you don't, you can borrow my rifle sometime. Okay?

Hi.

Hi.

Is it good?

What is it now?

Drink properly, Ingemar.

Drink!

Do it!

Careful, you'll spill it!

Drink!

Watch out!

Come on!

Mom! He's done it again!

What's going on here?

Any idea?

What?

I should have told her everything

while she still had her strength.

Stories from life. Mom really loved those.

She collected them.

You have to have something to tell her.

I like it when she laughs. Then she puts her book down.

The problem is, she reads a lot.

It's good if you can get her to think about something else.

Good girl, Sickan.

I think I love Sickan as much as Mom.

Mom was a photographer before she got sick.

Then we came. She had to quit.

Mom!

Close the door!

It could have been worse.

It's important to remember that.

Just think about that train wreck I read about.

A train ran right into a railcar at Glycksbo.

Six people were killed and fourteen injured.

Just as a comparison.

Ingemar!

You have to watch out for those railcars.

It could have been me.

Have you read this?

Your mother writes so strange.

No, she doesn't.

You know what a graphologist is? - No.

Handwriting expert. They can tell things from handwriting.

- You know what that means? - No.

That she's intelligent and has a sense of humor.

Oh?

Well, I can't read it all the same.

- What's next? -A tablespoon of sugar.

Sickan. Good-bye.

Don't you dare!

What are you doing? Give me that gun!

He was aiming at Sickan.

I said give me the gun!

Move!

I said move!

Watch the carpet!

Stop!

You're driving me crazy! Idiots!

Why don’t you do what I say?

Open the door! You damned brats!

Mom, calm down.

Please calm down.

- Can't you hear me? Open up! - Go back to bed, Mom.

If I hadn't closed the window, social services would have come.

Yes, they would have.

It sounded terrible.

- Come on. First one home! - Okay.

Wait.

I won.

They dug up Erik the XIV.

Come and lie down.

He died of arsenic poisoning. There's proof.

Come on now.

I've undressed.

Imagine, being poisoned with arsenic.

Come on now, hurry up.

So there you are!

What the hell are you up to?

Wait, I want to talk to you!

Goddamn it!

What the hell is this?

Stop, you!

Stop, I say!

Just wait till your mother hears about this!

Shut up, Sickan. We'll live here now.

Mom has to have some peace for a while, or we’re liable to kill her.

You don't want that, do you?

You cold?

Yeah, you're cold.

Nice, eh?

No.

No, damn!

Shut up, Sickan!

Damn it! Shut up!

Help!

Mom.

What would you like for dinner?

I can make some pancakes.

Your mother’s very weak. You have to try to understand.

She has to have a little peace and quiet, or she will never get well.

If she can just be by herself over the summer at least.

Just not to Solbacken again. I won't go there.

We'll see. Your mother will have to decide that.

It's your goddamn fault.

Away again.

Nice going.

At least you don't have to go to the children's home this time.

Where's your dad?

I don't know.

Somewhere on the Equator, I think.

What's he doing there?

Loading bananas.

I think he should be here looking after you.

Yes. Fathers are responsible, too.

What would happen to the bananas?

Somebody has to load them.

Somebody else can do it.

But who?

Who'll look after the bananas?

Anyway, I'll miss you.

It's very practical, see.