Hook, Line and Sinker

Uh, what'd he say?

I said, "With luck, you will tell us how this incredible condition occurred."

Oh, yeah, sure thing. I'll be glad to let you know.

But let's get this over with first. I can tell you later, huh?

What? What?

Well, they insist, in the interest of medical science,

that you tell us now.

Yeah. Okay.

I might as well start at the beginning.

My name is Dobbs. Fred C. Dobbs.

I own and operate a fishing charter boat out of Boca Negra, Chile.

Oh, Karlotta! Oh, Karlotta!

Help, Karlotta!

Help, Karlotta, help!

Help, Karlotta!

Help!

Help me!

Help me!

Let me get in there.

I'm very ticklish.

Help! Help! Help, Karlotta!

Well, not all my charters ended up that way.

Well, anyhow, there I was, two weeks short of 40,

made my last installment payment on my 50-foot twin diesel beauty,

and I was having a ball.

But things weren't always that good.

Last year

things were lousy.

Morning, dear.

Hi, Pop!

Good morning, Daddy dear.

Nancy!

Here it is, the little old money-maker, Granite Life and Casualty.

"Firm as a rock,” and just as friendly.

But it was my home away from home.

Five days a week, 9:00 to 5:00 every week, 50 weeks a year.

And each day of each week, my office... Huh! An office, I called it.

My office got smaller and smaller and smaller,

and all because of pressure.

I hated the phone, but I had to make my daily calls.

Even though people I called were never in.

And when they did return my calls, they weren't in.

And, ah, yes, my secretary.

Did I have a secretary!

A 99 and 44 one-hundredths percent pure winner.

She had to have studied with the Baltimore Colts.

And no matter how hard I prayed each day, she still showed up.

How can I explain how frustrated she made me?

I know. Did you ever try putting an oyster in a parking meter?

At last, fresh air.

Well, that's the way it was.

Monday through Friday, as well as Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Same old routine every day.

But at least Saturday was worse.

Hey, knock it off! We're trying to sleep here!

Every time you come, you knock over the kid with a bike!

You ding-a-ling dummy, you!

Oh, you would, would you?

Here, Sam. Here, Sam. - Come on, Sam.

Come here, Sam. Come on, Sam.

Come on, Sam. Here, Sam.

Pete, that silly old sink is stopped up again.

Lousy stopped-up sink.

I was just going to do that.

Well, it looks like they're bringing in a pinch-hitter for Weiscarver.

With bases loaded, two out, Pelicans trailing by three runs,

it better be their big gun. And it is.

They're bringing in Harla-Brew, and if anyone can do it, Big Jim can.

He stands up to the plate, Swanson rubs the ball, and he's ready.

He's on the mound, gets the signal from Tacheberry, and here's the pitch...

...by far the longest ball I've ever seen in all my years in baseball!

So that makes it a four to three ballgame,

thanks to Big Jim Harla-Brew,

and to the most exciting grand-slam homer of all time!

Tune in again tomorrow for another exciting edition

of the fun show, Date Your Ex-Wife.

Nancy!

Ah-ha! You got the remotes.

We were only playing.

Pete, do you mind if I take the children to the market with me?

No, as a matter of fact, they could use some air. Sure. Fine.

Take them out. Okay.

Take, take them right with you, dear. See you later.

Sell 'em.

Why can't you do your chores first and then play Old Man and the Sea?

But, honey, you don't understand... Oh, never mind.

Just bring in the groceries.

But don't you want to help me, uh, pull...

Oh, Sam. All right, all right. Good boy.

Jennifer, Jimmy, get off of that bed! And straighten it up.

Here, dear.

Oh, thank you, honey.

You know, I hate going tonight.

You're not alone.

Well, let's not. I hate Larry Heath.

Larry Heath hates you worse and he came to our barbeque party.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

That's the baby-sitter.

I'll be right down, dear.

Hi, Mrs. Hardtack. Hi, Mrs. Hardtack.

Hi. Good evening, Mrs. Hardtack.

Put your shoes on.

Pete, hurry up!

In a minute.

We're only gonna be gone until midnight.

Can we watch a Western tonight?

We don't want any old Western. Yes, we do.

Do not! You'll watch what I watch.

...first in a series of major motion pictures.

I left the phone number and address right here, just in case.

Mmm-hmm. Well, I'll call you if anything happens, just in case.

Hi, Mrs. Hardtack. Good night, Jennifer.

Good night. Good night, Jimmy.

Good night, Mommy. Good night, Jenny.

Good night, Jimmy. Don't forget to bring us home something.

Would you please cool it?

...all brought to you by Dr. Liston, Credit Dentist.

Fill now, pay later. And now for our film, They Dare Not Love,

starring George Brent and Roddy McDowall.

Presented by Ron Mangiacavallo, Lincoln Mercury.

Furthermore, Helen, we have to be adults about this.

- No matter how hard it becomes. - I know that, Jeff.

But each day seems to bring more and more hardship.

Just how much can a mother bear?

Now, there you go again. Only thinking of yourself. Hello, Mrs. Hardtack.

That's nice.

Did everything go all right? Right.

Did the children go to bed early? Uh-huh.

Well, good night. Good night.

I hope so. Oh, don't be trite, Jeff.

It really isn't becoming.

I don't mean to be trite,

but I do mean to stop you from the constant, ever-repeating,

"How much can a mother bear?"

Well, why does that upset you so?

I have a right to have a mother's feelings.

Well, sure you do, but wait until we have a kid first.

Well, if you're going to pick on every little thing...

Hey! I didn't see the finish yet.

It's getting very late, Mrs. Hardtack.

It's probably the same old finish. Boy gets girl.

It was probably the butler who was the murderer, too. Here you are.

There wasn't any murder.

Well, wait till next week. Nice seeing you, bye-bye.

Forgive me, Senor, but you handled that very poorly.

I did? ALL: Oh, si, si.

I would have reversed the procedure.

Let her pay the baby-sitter. Lock the door. Forget about the club soda and...

And get into bed first? Exactamente.

That's exactamente what I did.

And? And...

Help us to overcome life's pitfalls,

unpredictabilities,

and be more likely candidates for your gifts.

We're home, Mrs. Hardtack. Oh.

Everything go all right?

Right. Did the children go to bed early?

Good night. Night.

Oh, it's late, Mrs. Hardtack.

Yes, kind of late. He's an awfully nice clergyman.

Oh, isn't he, though? Yeah, he gives the sweetest good night prayer.

Always puts me to sleep. Oh, thank you.

Say, that was awful good candy tonight.

Oh, I'm so glad you liked it.

We'll see you next Saturday. Bye. Fine. Anytime. Bye.

Oh, a misfortune, Senor. A veritable misfortune.

Well, if you think Saturdays were bad,

let me tell you about Sundays.

Is that you, dear?

Good morning, Mommy. Good morning, Daddy.

Oh. Look out, darling. Good morning, Sam.

Good morning. Sam, down.

Hello, baby. Down. Sit.

Good morning, Daddy. Good morning, sweetheart.

Sam. Sam, down Yeah, good Sam. Wait, Sam.

Lean over... Could you roll over?

Sam, you're... Most of your weight is on most of my stuff. Sam.

That's the way it goes.

No, don't... Just... Yeah.

Uh, Jennifer, pull...

Jennifer, dear, I want you to practice the scales.

Yes, Mommy.

That's very good, Jimmy.

Here, dear.

Nancy Ingersoll,

you're a homemaker extraordinaire.

Perfect wife,

perfect mother,

very attractive,

cheerful, understanding and very, very practical.

Very.

You balance our checkbook every month,

you never dent the car fenders.

You buy two for 25 instead of one for 13.

114 dollars and 93 cents to Granite Life and Casualty every month.

How do you do it? It's in the budget.

150,000 dollars worth.

And if anything were to happen to me,

you and the children would be well provided for.

Well, you can't very well argue with that.