Young Einstein

Tasmania, it was just about the best place to grow up.

Thousands of miles of wilderness.

And right in the middle of it all was our apple farm.

As exciting as life was on our apple farm...

I still had plenty of time to listen to music.

And to think about the universe.

Mom loved cooking.

She'd spend most of her time baking huge apple pies.

Dad was a man of the land.

His interest was in the balance and harmony of nature.

Gotcha.

Yep, us Einsteins had always been apple farmers.

And that's what my dad had planned for me.

But I just couldn't get the hang of it.

So that's why I was in the orchard that day.

I was practicing.

Look at this, will you? Tasmanian devils.

Eat anything, they will.

There's one of the mongrels now.

Good day, mate.

He's eating the bloody orchard.

Albert. You okay, son?

For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction.

I've just formulated a complete scientific principle.

Well, I had my first complete scientific theory.

All I had to do was prove it.

Timber!

So you see, I proved that gravitation is a force...

whereby any two bodies attract each other...

in proportion to the product of their masses...

and inversely as the square of the distance between them, Mom.

You mean what goes up must come down?

Yeah.

Sorry about the roof, Dad.

Don't worry about it, son. I've got a job for you.

Now, do you know what I'd like you to do with this valley, Albert?

What, Dad?

Dam it!

But if I dammed it, I'd drown all the wildlife.

Yep, in one go.

Dad, I'm a pacifist.

I believe that all living things...

should be able to exist together in harmony.

So you see, Dad, I want to be a physicist.

What do they grow, son?

- Physicists don't grow anything. - What's the use of them, then?

They study the basic laws and the principles of the universe.

You can study the basic laws and principles of the universe...

in the evening, after you've done the washing up.

I'm working on a new kind of music, Mom.

That's nice, dear.

Sometimes I wonder whether he's cut out for farming.

He just doesn't seem to fit in here.

Time for bed, Albert, love.

- Good night, Dad. - Good night, Albert.

- Good night, Albert. - Good night, Mom.

Sweet dreams, Mommy's little possum.

Albert! So you're a scientist, are you, son?

- Yes, Dad. - I've got a job for you in the morning.

- Where are we going, Dad? - Granddad's shed.

It was your granddad's wish...

that an Einstein would carry on the work that he began.

- What work, Dad? - You'll find out soon enough, son.

Wow! Granddad built a scientific laboratory in here.

Shut the door, son.

This is it, Bert.

The thing that will put us Einsteins into the history books.

Beer.

Beer.

What is beer, Dad?

The secret of brewing beer is an Einstein tradition.

My father taught it to me.

He taught it to his father, and his father to his father's father.

Sit down, Bert.

The problem is, as is with the problem with all beer...

is that it lacks bubbles.

Well, why don't you put bubbles in it?

Try as it may...

mankind has never succeeded in putting bubbles in beer.

The person who succeeds will change the world forever.

- Father? - Not now, Mother. I've got a headache.

Well, there is one thing that would force bubbles into beer.

I mean, I suppose you can split a beer atom.

Atomic energy.

If you could split the nucleus of a beer atom into two fragments...

then the mass of the two fragments...

will be less than the mass of the original nucleus...

and the difference in mass will be transformed into energy.

Energy equals mass...

times the square of the speed of light!

I'll give it a go.

Right.

Bubbles into beer.

First, isolate the molecular structure...

of this alcohol.

Readjust the orbit...

of these electrons.

Then all I have to do is split this beer atom.

Where's that chisel?

Albert. Is that you?

Look, Dad!

Bubbles!

And it's got a good head, too.

Not bad. This'll put the Einsteins on the map.

- What's happening, Father? - The boy's finally done it, Mother.

Albert, you're a genius. How'd you come up with it?

I discovered the formula for splitting beer atoms.

"Emc."

We've got to register this at the patent office.

Albert, you've got to go to the mainland.

Goodbye, Bert.

- Good luck, son. - Goodbye, Dad.

Goodbye, Mom.

Goodbye.

My son.

Pardon, monsieur?

- What would you like to do? - You speak English. Splendid.

Preston Preston...

of the Perth Prestons.

Young Newton.

Isn't this unbelievable?

I, myself, am in the scientific field.

Dozens of scientists come into my office every day.

Of course, I have to turn most of them down.

Yes. Science has always held a fascination for me.

For example, do you know how a gramophone works?

It's really very simple.

The little needle picks up these vibrations....

What the devil is the engine driver up to?

Stopping the train in the middle of a desert. Sacré bleu.

Anyway, where was I?

- Very small.... - Yes.

Now, these tiny little vibrations...

are caused by dozens of grooves which are cut into the disc...

and they go all the way up the arm to a great big horn which amplifies it.

You know, makes it louder! Like this.

And voilà. A song. See?

Good day.

I'm sorry. Oh, my God.

It's just a little snake.

It's a lizard.

Yes.

Now, sound.

How can I describe it to you?

Sound is like big waves at the beach, you see...

because sound travels in waves just like light.

- I'm not going too fast for you, am I? - No. Light travels as particles.

Light travels as particles and waves.

How can light travel simultaneously in two different ways?

Space tells matter how to move...

and matter tells space how to curve.

Mademoiselle, you must be a student of the sciences.

Yes. I am to study at the Sydney University.

Fascinating. You got a scholarship?

Not exactly. I won a prize.

The old high school science prize?

It was a Nobel Prize, 1903, Applied Physics.

- Really? - You see...

I think that if we could control the ionizing radiation...

of the spontaneous disintegration of uranium isotopes...

we could harness the forces of nature.

Splitting atoms.

You've heard of the theory to split the nucleus of an atom?

I've split one once.

You've already split the atom?

It was only a Tasmanian beer atom.

What?

That one atom was enough to blow the old man's shed apart.

Really.

Atomic power.

You must tell me more about your research...

but first, let me introduce myself.

My name is Marie. Marie Curie.

Albert. Albert Einstein.

Do you realize this is a first-class carriage?

Conductor, there's a bushman in my carriage.

- So? - You see, I worked out that...

energy equals mass times the square of the speed of light.

No.

Excuse me.

"Emc?"

Energy equals mass times the square of the speed of light.

A patent application must be accompanied...

by a provisional specification.

- What's that? - An invention.

You have to have an invention to patent an invention.

But it's all in my head.

Well, what do you wish us to do, sir, patent your head?

We take patents, not formulas.

Good day.

Where did you blow in from, curly?

Tasmania.

What's that in your pocket, big boy?

It's a compass.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Have you got a room?

- This is a hotel, isn't it? - Yes.

You want the big bed, ace?

Go on.

No.