Being Human

They thought that if you saw the film, you'd want me and you'd come back.

I don't really see where this relationship is headed any more.

You can't do this on your own. So maybe I won't.

Lauren!

Annie was killed by Owen.

Owen, please look.

Bitch!

Where do I belong?

Where do I fit?

Who are my people?

Where do my loyalties lie?

We all choose our tribe.

It's that need to belong,

to live within boundaries.

Cos it's scary on the outside,

on the fringes...

Some labels are forced on us. They mark us,

set us apart till we're like ghosts, just drifting through other people's lives.

But only if we let the labels hold.

You can piss your whole life away trying out who you might be.

It's when you've worked out who you are that you can really start to live.

Where are you hiding her?

Where's Lauren?

He never rings, he never writes...

Go and get her. She's coming with me.

I'm sorry, Mitchell, it's really not gonna happen.

You don't get to decide this, Herrick.

Well, I do, actually. Because you just keep hurting her, Mitchell.

You just keep hurting her!

You recruit her, that's fine. But then you just leave her!

She wakes up with us, she doesn't know where she is,

she's calling for you... So, fine, we pick up the pieces best we can, but then...Jesus Christ!

Then you try and take her bag. She's the one who came to me.

Where else is she gonna go? She couldn't exactly call ChildLine, could she?

When I recruited you, I didn't abandon you.

I took care of you. Do you know why?

Because it was my responsibility. I was helping her.

What, by getting her to buy into this ridiculous...your fad?

My what? This thing you're doing with you and your furry friend.

Raiding the dressing-up box, pretending to be human. It's a game!

It's...this is not a game!

Meeting in hotels like you're what? Lovers?

You rip her mortality away then you try and patch it up with these...

scraps of human behaviour.

That is cruel, Mitchell.

Why can't you just let her be the thing you made her?

And leave her to the likes of you? Well, at least we're consistent.

Herrick, you forced her to screw a man, then kill him while you filmed it.

So you watched it then?

Well, I didn't know what it was, did I? Till the end.

What was that? You watched it.

To the end.

When the guy died.

Like I said, I didn't know what it was.

Mm.

How...erm...

thorough.

Look, you go and do your thing.

Maybe you need to get it out of your system.

You go and do your thing and come on home.

There'll always be a place for you here, just like there was for Lauren.

Er, mind your feet! Oh... What happened here?

Just dropped a plate. Right.

Whoa, did you just...?!

Tell me honestly, is this too flash?

I can't imagine ever saying yes, but a bit of context might help.

Right, yes, sorry. I'm seeing Nina later.

Not-not-not a date. Really, really, really not a date.

Not a date in a pub, not a date in a restaurant or not a date in another date-like situation?

Gastropub. Not a date in a gastropub. Annie?

You look like bar staff.

Fair enough. Last time I wore it, someone did ask if the jalfrezi was off, so...

Oh...

OK, this mug, did it just move on its own?

Yeah, right. Maybe it fell out with the other mugs and decided he needed some time on his own.

Well? This, er, non-date, you gonna break it to her you cross-dress?

Bit much? OK...Er..

You-you-you agree with him?

It's hideous. Yeah, well,

I kept the receipt.

So? Er, can we just forget about the mug and the plate?

What happened with the plate?

When did this start?

After I found out about Owen. And for all I know, this could be perfectly normal.

You find out your fiance murdered you, you become a throwing-things-about ghost.

Poltergeist. See, you know the terms, you understand how this works.

D'you think I can channel it? I have been dying to pull that fridge out and clean behind it.

Annie, you're still dealing with the fact that you were killed by Owen.

Maybe cleaning the kitchen isn't the best way to go about it.

You really can't control it, huh?

Oh, that just looks like you can't be arsed. Really? Really.

Well, maybe I don't need your advice. Maybe I understand women a bit better than you think.

Oh, you're one of those guys.

What-what guys? Turns bumptious once he's getting laid. Huh.

I've always been... I'm not...

And don't, please, no don't call it 'getting laid'.

With Nina, it's more...

poetic. Oh, yes, oh, yes, very funny.

The werewolf's a romantic. Though the sex was verging on ferocious.

Shit..shit. What?

No, nothing.

Oh, no, no, no...it's just occurred to me I was on the jaws of a change when me and Nina...

Yeah, yeah.

You know, I had the wolf in me.

So did Nina.

Stop sniggering, this is not a joke.

I really, really like Nina and I thought that... well, I hoped that she liked me.

But what if she's only interested in the wolf?

Oh, oh, thank you for, "Oh, no, George, how could that be possible?".

Nobody wants you here. What you on about?

I can do whatever I want.

Oi, lads, what are you doing?

Piss off!

Run that by me again? You heard. He reckons he can take us!

You're about three! This your boyfriend? No.

Leave him alone. Fuck off, Goth boy.

Don't push your luck. Cos you'll do what? Don't. Or what?

You don't wanna know. Yeah, I do. why I asked.

No, no really...You don't.

Keep away from him, missus. He's an alien freak!

I could've seen them off myself.

I couldn't at your age.

No? No. That was payback there on all the little bastards who used to have a pop at me. Yeah?

Between us,

I was the dorkiest of dorks.

What's going on? Who were those boys?

Retards from school. Bernie!

They were giving your son a bit of grief.

He is your son, isn't he?

Yeah. Who are you? He helped me see them off.

I'm Mitchell. I'm just across the way there.

You see, that's modern living for you.

I don't know half the neighbours.

They could have Osama bin Laden stashed away at number six and I wouldn't know!

Yeah... Fleur. I'm sorry?

Me.

I know it sounds like acid reflux, but it's my name. Fleur.

Nice to meet you. This is Bernie.

You're coming in for a cuppa.

Camomile.

Right.

No coffee then?

Little shits! I say this as a mother, but children are foul.

Thanks. Not you. It's just the way they treat each other.

You know, picking on anyone who's different...

I'm not different. Yes, you are.

You're sensitive, you're kind different to those little thugs.

Mum, you make me sound gay. Oi!

I'll tell Uncle Frank and Uncle Paolo that you said that!

There is no shame in being sensitive, is there, Mitchell?

Not at all.

You can't blame the children. Not when you consider the parents.

Jesus!

Sorry.

No, we're not born arseholes.

Mum, you're shaming me.

And you're one of the good guys.

Poor Keisha's in a right state.

She's been puking. I mean really retching her guts up... I, er, get the picture.

Both ends. I mean, it's blatantly a hangover but someone has to go in and cover her shift. Course.

Ooh, look, you've dressed up and everything.

No, no, no, no I always wear... black. You're pissed off with me.

Nina, no, your-your-your commitment to your job, it-it's so attractive.

Your passion, your-your your-your-your commitment, it-it-it's up there with...er...

My breasts? No.

Oh, right, so they're not all that then?

No. Yes. Yes, erm, yes.

No it's erm, it's just, it's just a gesture.

Yeah. Look, er...

we may not make the restaurant, but I've still got an hour before I need to leave, so...

Get a takeaway?

George! Ow.

Oh. Oh, you mean, we could erm...

We could,

couldn't we?

We could, yes, absolutely...

Um, er but look, the thing is, you you might be expecting this kind of...

Bloody hell! Too hard?

Yeah, yeah, yes, just a bit!

I thought you liked it rough.

Ah...Now...Well...

This is what I need to say, Nina. Ow!

Look I'm not anti the rough stuff, not-not-not at all but-but...

It won't always be like the other night.

Oh, thank God.

Eh? I thought you were impressed.

Er,...more...stunned.

Oh!

So.. so...

slow things down a bit?

If that's all right with you?

That's fine with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting we wear those weird chastity rings

American kids have, you know, "We're not shagging cos we're mentals" but I just...

Just rewind a little.

To flowers and romance.

Exactly.

Hey. Hey! How's it going?

All right. Cool.

Oh, it's you. Twice in two days. Are we being stalked?

No. Am I? Not unless you're on your way to Tesco's, no.