Baywatch

-YOU TRIPPED THE DAMN ALARM.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

MORNING, IAN.

MORNING.

-WHAT? WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

-TRUTH, BEAUTY, THE AMERICAN DREAM.

AH. WOULD YOU LIKE A SARDINE?

NO, THANK YOU.

MY MOTHER, SHE, UH,

USED TO FEED THESE TO ME EVERY MORNING

FOR BREAKFAST NO LESS.

SHE WONDERED WHY I TURNED OUT THIS WAY.

ALL I WANTED WAS A BOWL OF WHEATIES, MA!

-HEY, I READ YOUR POEM LAST NIGHT.

-YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, DID YOU? I CAN TELL.

ONLY, YOU'RE TOO NICE TO LET ME KNOW,

SO YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME IT WAS BRILLIANT.

IT WAS.

AND, UH, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK

I CARE WHAT YOU THINK?

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART?

THE LAST VERSE, RIGHT?

"THE DAY WAS MOVING WESTWARD LEAVING COLORS IN THE SKY.

"THE EASTERN BLACK WAS CHASING HOLDING COLORS THAT HAD DIED.

"THE DAY WAS RACING QUICKLY,

"BUT COULD NOT OUTRUN THE NIGHT.

AND I RODE ALONG THE SEASHORE TO THE CAVERNS OF DELIGHT."

YOU'RE A VERY TALENTED WRITER.

THANKS TO YOU.

-ME? WHAT HAVE I GOT TO DO WITH IT?

-YOU HAVE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT.

YOU'RE MY INSPIRATION. YOU'RE MY IDEAL.

YOU'RE MY MUSE.

OH, IAN.

NO, YOU REALLY ARE.

EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YOU, THE WORDS

AND THE RHYMES, THE PASSION,

IT JUST, IT FLOWS FROM MY SOUL, SHAUNI.

I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.

RIGHT.

AND I'LL BE AT MY OFFICE.

BEGGS.

-LITTLE BUDDY. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

LET GO.

WHERE'S THE BOX?

IT'S BURIED UNDER THAT TOWER.

THE PLACE WAS CRAWLING WITH COPS.

I HAD TO STASH IT SOMEWHERE.

-I OUGHTA KILL YOU RIGHT HERE AND NOW.

WE'D BE IN MEXICO BY NOW IF YOU HADN'T SCREWED UP.

-JUST CONTROL YOURSELF, BEGGS.

NOBODY KNOWS IT'S THERE.

ALL WE'VE GOT TO DO IS WAIT FOR THE CROWDS TO LEAVE.

BE RIGHT BACK.

-I LOST IT SOMEWHERE... SOMEWHERE RIGHT ABOUT HERE.

I THINK.

WE GOT PROBLEMS.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

GOD, I HOPE YOU CAN FIND IT.

IT'S LIKE MY FAVORITE NECKLACE.

I'VE WORN IT EVERY DAY.

-WELL, YOU'D BE NAKED WITHOUT IT, RIGHT?

- -YEAH.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

WHAT IS THIS, HUH?

WHAT IS THIS?

LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS.

EUREKA!

BACK... BY POPULAR DEMAND.

FOR YOU, MY LOVE. -IAN, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

-CLASS MEETS THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

HOBIE AND I WON'T BE BACK UNTIL THEN.

-MITCH, I CAN DO IT. NO PROBLEM.

-YOU'RE SURE? -IT'S MY DAY OFF!

-YOU SURE YOU KNOW HOW TO TEACH WINDSURFING CLASS?

- IN MY SLEEP.

HEY LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

NOTHING AT ALL.

OKAY, NOW YOU GO ON AND BE A LITTLE INDIAN GUIDE,

AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

-ALL RIGHT, BEN'S GOT ALL THE INFORMATION

WHERE THE CLASS MEETS.

-WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE ALREADY?

OKAY.

HEY, IAN.

HI.

-SO, DID YOU HAVE A PRODUCTIVE DAY?

-WELL, I DIDN'T GET A WHOLE LOT OF WRITING DONE,

BUT I FOUND MYSELF A CORKSCREW.

I FOUND MYSELF A, WELL, HALF A WATCH ANYWAY.

-PRETTY. -AND A $1.27 IN CHANGE.

IN HERE.

AND UM, WELL I-- I MADE THIS FOR YOU.

HEY, THAT'S NOT BAD.

-ONE MAN'S TRASH IS ANOTHER MAN'S TREASURE.

-THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU, IAN. THANK YOU.

-YOU'RE WELCOME. -WOW.

OH BOY.

DUTY CALLS.

-I'LL SEE YOU LATER. -OKAY.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

UNTIL TOMORROW.

WHERE IS IT?

IT'S HERE, SOMEWHERE.

JUST KEEP DIGGING.

-BROOKE, THAT STORM OFF OF BAJA

IS STILL MAKING SOME NOISE, SO WE'RE GONNA

HAVE TO MOVE THE TOWERS BACK AGAIN

ON ALL SOUTH-FACING BEACHES.

OKAY. I'LL SPREAD THE WORD.

-THANKS. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

-YOU SURE YOU GOT THE RIGHT TOWER?

MAYBE IT WASN'T NUMBER 12.

-IT WAS NUMBER 12, BEGGS, BELIEVE ME.

IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT I'D FORGET.

-WELL THEN, MAYBE YOU NEVER BURIED THE JEWELS.

MAYBE YOU RIPPED ME OFF.

THINK I'D BE THAT STUPID?

TAKE IT EASY, BEGGS.

AH, SUCH SPLENDOR.

FROM AN ADMIRER, I TAKE IT.

-THERE'S NO CARD. -SECRET ADMIRER.

-THERE'S SO MANY HERE, I CAN'T EVEN COUNT THEM ALL.

-THERE'S, UM, THERE'S 137 OF THEM.

YOU SENT THESE FLOWERS?

-THAT'S ALL THE FLOWER SHOP HAD LEFT.

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT, IAN?

-IT'S ABOUT LOVE AND ROMANCE AND ELEGANCE, PERFECTION.

AND THE SALE OF MY FIRST POEM!

YOU SOLD POEM?

YES!

THAT'S GREAT.

CONGRATULATIONS. -THANK YOU.

I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.

SEE YA.

HEY, BEN.

-HARVEY, WHAT'S ALL THIS I'VE BEEN HEARING

ABOUT YOU TEACHING A CLASS FOR MITCH?

-WELL, HE ASKED ME TO DO HIM A FAVOR.

WHAT COULD I SAY?

-YOU COULD SAY THAT YOU DON'T KNOW

THE FIRST THING ABOUT WINDSURFING.

WELL, I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR.

-HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN UP ON A BOARD?

IT'S BEEN AWHILE.

BUT I'M GOOD WITH KIDS.

OH, I'M SURE.

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY COME FROM THE MAYFIELD SCHOOL FOR GIRLS.

-HEY, I'M DOING A FAVOR FOR A FRIEND.

YEAH.

HI, HEY.

YOU GUYS LIKE POETRY?

LISTEN TO THIS, HUH?

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

"THE SEA CAN TAKE A MAN'S LAST BREATH

AS WELL AS GUIDE HIM HOME."

"I LOVE THE..."

WE HATE POETRY.

OH. WELL.

-HOW MUCH YOU WANT FOR THAT THING?

-METAL DETECTOR? IT'S NOT FOR SALE.

HERE'S 50.

-WELL, THAT'S A VERY GENEROUS OFFER...

PLUS, ANOTHER 50.

-YOU JUST BOUGHT YOURSELF A METAL DETECTOR.

GOOD METAL DETECTOR, AS A MATTER OF FACT.

HEY, HEY. -HEY.

HALF DAY TODAY, HUH? -SPLIT SHIFT.

I'M GONNA FINISH UP AT HEADQUARTERS.

-AH, I WAS HOPING YOU COULD READ MY NEW POEM.

YEAH, GREAT. HERE.

-BUT I HAVEN'T FINISHED IT YET.

OKAY, I'LL READ IT TOMORROW.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU SEE, IT'S A VERY NOCTURNAL POEM.

IT MUST BE READ AT NIGHT FOR MAXIMUM EFFECT.

SO WITH THAT IN MIND,

I WAS HOPING MAYBE WE COULD HAVE DINNER?

UH, POSSIBLY GO DANCING?

-UM, IAN I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE THE WRONG IDEA HERE.