BUNK'D

Look at him go.

We might actually be able to eat off these things now.

I know.

If I had 10 more like him, I wouldn't have to pay off the health inspector.

Matteo, you don't have to do that.

Cleaning is the counselors' job.

It's okay, I actually enjoy wiping tables.

It's part of my work out.

Can't you tell how swole I'm getting?

I mean... Whoa. Big difference.

Well, that does it for arms.

Time to go crank out some mad shoulder reps

with my feather duster.

Anyhoo.

Let me finish handing out this week's counselor duties.

Noah, you are in chargeof cleaning out the boat shed.

Avast! Me name's Captain Lambert,

and that boat shed shall be spic and span

from bow to stern! Argh!

Okay, I know you're pandering with the pirate voice

and, um, I'm digging it.

Rat Tail, you are in charge of the campers' haircuts.

Let's try not to pigeonhole ourselves, okay?

And, Ava...

It's gonna be something good, I can tell.

You are officially relieved of your PeeWeeWaka duties.

Wait, you're taking away my assignment?

Well, considering one of the kids

you were watching wrestled a skunk,

and the others were traumatized

by your weirdly dark puppet show,

I'm gonna go with yeah-huh.

Okay, I'll admitthere's been a bit of a learning curve.

But I can handle the responsibility, Lou.

I'm different this summer.

Let me prove it to you!

Fine.

But maybe you can prove it to me with a new job.

One that hopefully won't end

with you stinking so bad you have to sleep in the boat shed.

Argh, which will be spic and span from bow...

Okay, pick your moments.

If you really want to help,

I was thinking of reviving

the "Camper of the Week" program.

We used to do it back in the day,

but after I won eight weeks in a row,

there was a small uprising.

I can handle that!

How do I handle that?

First, you choose a deserving camper.

Then, you help them lead an activity of their choice.

Finally, you arrange a banquet

where the COW chooses a family recipe to serve

that represents them as a person.

It's a big job, but if you do it right

you can lead the PeeWees again.

On it!

Man, I can't wait to nail this and prove you wrong!

And help the camp, right?

Sure, yeah. That too.

See, guys? Croquet is fun!

Isn't it nice to have a normal afternoon for once?

Hello!

So close.

Hi, Miss Tilly!

What brings you and your bird prisoner to Camp Kikiwaka?

Actually, he's my pet parrot,

and I was hoping

you kids might watch him tonight.

I have some guests coming over for a dinner party.

And this little guy could be a problem.

Sometimes he talks too much.

Yeah, I've got one of those, too.

Every once in a while, we just throw a blanket

over him so he thinks it's nighttime.

Wait, what?

Anyways, we'd love to bird-sit!

Oh, splendid. Thank you so much.

I'm out.

I haven't had the greatest experience with parrots.

Had one on my shoulder for a pirate-themed tap routine

and, long story short,

that's how I got my left ear pierced.

Still won that pageant, though.

Yes, parrots can be very difficult.

Honestly, they don't make great pets.

And they live for 50 years.

But a promise you make

to your late aerobics instructor is a promise.

What's your parrot's name?

Dwayne "The Squawk" Johnson.

It was either thator Stone Cold Steve Squawkin'.

Sure.

Hello, everyone, and thank you

for gathering for this very special announcement,

and, no, it is not that we found Estelle's pet spider,

who is still on the loose

and a very real threat to our smaller campers.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have got to go finish writing a speech

for the PeeWees on mortality.

Okay.

In less terrifying news,

it is my pleasure to announce

that Camp Kikiwaka is bringing back

the Camper of the Week program!

A competition? Why wasn't I informed?

I've just been wasting this summer having fun, like a fool!

So, who's Camper of the Week, Ava?

For the inaugural COW,

I picked someone who is an exceptional camper.

He follows the rules...

Aw.

Never makes trouble...

Make it attainable.

Matteo Silva, congratulations!

You are the Camper of the Week!

Congratulations, Matteo.

If it can't be me, I'm glad it was you.

Thanks, Destiny.

That must have been difficult for you to say.

It's easier when you don't mean it.

So...

What does Camper of the Week get?

All sorts of stuff.

No chores for the weekend,

you get to choose and lead an activity that we all have to do.

Logic puzzles! Not logic puzzles.

And, best of all,

you get to serve the whole camp

a family recipe that tells everyone who you are.

Oh, really?

I'm so glad I picked you.

You're gonna make me look so good!

And the camp. Dang it!

I keep doing that.

Okay.

I found Estelle's spider.

And it might also be a threat

to our larger campers.

How come you cut up Squawk Johnson's food and not mine?

I do cut up your food.

Oh, right. Thanks, friend!

Polly want a cracker?

No.

I don't want a cracker.

And my name is Finn.

My name is Finn!

Uh-oh.

We lost Squawk Johnson! This bird's name is Finn!

No, Finn.

Parrots just repeat words and phrases they hear.

Murder!

Wait, did he just say...

Murder! I'll make them pay.

Noah, if parrots only repeat what they hear...

who did he hear say that?

Well, the only person he lives with is Miss Tilly.

But it couldn't have been her!

Hello?

Get ready to die!

Oh, yeah.

It was totally her.

We're telling you,

something's going on.

Just hear Squawk Johnson out.

Never trust a parrot, Noah.

Plus, even if he did say "Get ready to die,"

he probably just heard it on TV.

Miss Tilly's Dinner of Death!

Wow, Destiny.

What a very specific and murder-y TV show.

Guys, remember what Miss Tilly said?

She's having a bunch of people over for dinner tonight.

Maybe she's planning to...

Finish them off! Exactly, thank you!

Miss Tilly is just a normal old lady

who likes to make scones, and push a bird in a stroller,

and hire children to perform jazz,

and, okay, "normal" is a stretch,

but she's still not a killer.

She said Squawk can be a problem because he "talks too much."

She knew this parrot would sing like a canary!

We should go check out Miss Tilly's.

We can't stand by and do nothing if people are in danger.

Plus, if she goes down for this,

we'll be stuck with this high-maintenance bird!

More fruit!

You ate all the fruit!

I'm only one man!

Okay,

this is my fault.

You said there's a parrot talking about a murder,

and I came anyway.

I'm out.

Maybe we should tell Lou.

She won't believe us either.

We need to find more proof at Miss Tilly's.

Who wants yummy scones?