5-25-77

What? Are we ready? Okay.

All right, settle everyone, please.

Quiet on the set.

Okay, let's do this.

What I want you to do is when the camera starts moving forward,

just start to drift back to that day...

that moment...

when you knew.

Right?

And roll sound.

Speed.

- Roll camera. - Rolling.

Marker.

Action.

What happened?

Now, he was master of the world.

And though he was not quite sure what to do next,

he would think of something.

- Subs OCR'ed and corrected by darthfrede --

Look, it's a soldier. He's going to throw a grenade.

Cut.

Action.

Patrick Read Johnson!

Mom!

Patrick Read Johnson!

What did you even need it to be a zebra for, anyway?

It's for one of my films. You don't understand.

You're not a filmmaker.

I'm trying real hard to understand you.

On the good news front,

he did promise the horse would be brown again by dinner.

So I was thinking...

Maybe it's time we thought about adopting another baby.

How many babies do you want to have, exactly?

A dozen?

I'm not sure...

Jesus Christ!

Editing is when you see something in your story that you don't like,

and you just...

take it out.

Take it out.

Cut.

I already got blown up in the grenade scene.

Just jump!

He deserves a childhood.

Everybody deserves a childhood.

I'm not sure it's the childhood they think they deserve.

I think the childhood that people deserve

is the one where they learn how the world works.

- Mom? - I haven't always been wise...

- Line. - ...or done what's right?

We all made mistakes.

It's what we do after we make the mistake that's important.

I don't think we learn how the world works at the movies.

When is the time?

When is he going to learn?

Patrick Read Johnson!

Where's your brother?

Mom, do you mind?

I'll be back... with a shotgun!

Mom! Help... me.

Patrick!

One of you is in big trouble.

Steven Spielberg?

Who the hell is Steven Spielberg?

- You're kidding, right? - Do I look like I'm kidding?

The guy who made Jaws, the most successful movie of all time?

The movie we're making a sequel to here?

By make, do you mean he produced it?

No, directed it.

Careful, you're bleeding on Moonbase Alpha.

Okay, so tell me, Pat.

What the hell's the difference between a director and a producer?

- Well... - Patrick!

Patrick!

I don't know where you're hiding,

but I'm going to Gunther's in fifteen minutes,

and if you want me to pick up any more film,

you better clean up this shark attack mess before I go.

And don't forget, it's your turn to do the runs.

Producer, director.

Anyway, in Steven Spielberg's first movie, Duel,

this guy's being chased by this old diesel fuel truck he cut off on the highway,

and this truck is, like, the unstoppable ghost truck from hell.

A truck that's been on the highway since the beginning of time and always will be.

And every time this guy thinks he's gotten away from the thing...

Wham! It's right there behind him.

Or in the case of this one shot, in front of him, waiting.

And the way Steven Spielberg shoots it,

he doesn't just have a dorky close up of the guy going...

"Whoa!"

...to his POV of the truck on the road to another shot of the guy reacting.

No, of course not!

No, Spielberg has this car racing up the highway in a long shot,

and suddenly, the car slams on its brakes...

Wham! The camera pulls back to reveal the underside of this dark,

oily, smelly, rumbling, smoldering, mechanical monster waiting for him.

Could you get Hooper's torso?

So the car hitting its brakes is the reaction shot.

The squeal of the car's tires is the main character's scream of terror.

I still don't get how you think you can get away with making a Jaws 2.

I mean, at the end of Jaws 1, the shark's nothing but red mist and bone meal.

No, no, no... Not if it's like the truck in Duel.

Not if it's a shark that's been swimming in the ocean since the beginning of time,

and always will be,

the primordial carnivore instinct made manifest by its insatiable desire to feed.

What the hell are you talking about?

The pool filter will get the rest out?

And what happened to the other six films we started?

We're a movie studio, Bill.

If we're going to make it, we need to work on as many movies as we can.

Or maybe we could just finish one.

Requiem to the Planet of the Apes is almost finished.

Almost finished?

You've been working on it since you were twelve years old.

Well, I want it to be perfect.

Well, shit, Pat,

it's already got a bunch of other twelve-year-olds running around a cornfield,

and bad rubber monkey mask chasing you in a loincloth

pretending to be Charlton Heston.

What could be more perfect than that?

Are you ever going to start taking this stuff seriously?

- Hell no! - Why not?

Because I don't think that making little super eight movies

in Pat Johnson's backyard is my ticket to Hollywood.

Then why do you keep showing up to help?

Because I feel sorry for you, Pat.

Why?

Oh, shit!

What's that?

That wasn't a shotgun. It was my stupid brother Pat!

Patrick, when you dragged your box spring mattress out into the woods

so your German snipers could fall out of the trees without getting killed,

what did I say?

You said, "Patrick..."

Electrons, please!

"...when you painted your sister's horse to look like a zebra,

what did I say?"

After that.

You said that you would always support whatever road I chose to follow,

as long as I was willing to pay the toll.

And I always have been.

I painted Jody's horse brown again.

You were ten.

That was a noble gesture, but you're not ten anymore.

And I'm not paying for another pool filter.

Mom, we don't need a new pool filter.

Why is it that every time I blow the circuit breakers in this house, you panic?

That's what circuit breakers are for... For blowing,

to keep things from breaking when you push them too far.

That's exactly my point. You're pushing things too far.

Mom, the shark attack had to look like it was taking place out at sea, at night.

We couldn't take the shark out to Lake Michigan past the waves,

or it'd be too deep to operate.

Plus, we had to shoot it day for night, because...

I don't have any decent lights,

and we couldn't use them on the water without electrocuting Bill anyway.

So the perfect solution was to shoot it in an insert tank.

It's a swimming pool.

Playing the best music. WLS.

Your car shouldn't blow all your hard earned dough.

She's ready to go with Vesuvio.

Lot of requests for this one to start your day.

Have little Queen along the way.

Good morning, Mr. And Mrs. Warren High School.

And all freaks hiding behind the ROTC jet smoking pot.

This is this year's president of the student body, Bill Holmes,

along with this year's resident of the student body, Pat Johnson.

And these are the morning announcements for... August 23, 1976.

The new school year got off to a rousing start at the pep rally yesterday

with over a hundred members of the Warren Township marching band

all blowing and beating their instruments in unison.

Wrap it up, boys.

Okay, today's menu is an old favorite.

That's right. The cafeteria is serving muttloaf,

served with green'ish beans and your choice of mashed potatoes or tater tits...

I mean tots!

Damn it, Holmes, you cannot say tits in the morning announcements!

Well, you just did.

Besides, my tits was the a typo "tits."

I'm pretty sure it should have read "tots," not "tits."

Damn it, Holmes!

And finally, in the sports report,

the varsity football team, led by quarterback Doug Austerlin,

trounced Stephenson yesterday.

At the victory party, Doug had this to say...

"Oh, man, I think I'm going to hurl!"

What are you idiots doing?

Practicing our pick up routine for parties.

If one of us spots a girl we want to meet, the other one picks a fight

and pretends to beat the crap out of the guy that wants the girl.

Then, the girl comes over and makes sure the guy who got beat up is all right,

and gets him some ice and offers to drive him to the hospital, and...

Finds out he's a lying, cheating ass, and hits him with a shovel?

Only you would think this could work!

Oh, man... I think you're going to hurl.

Today's lesson... Never mess with the alpha male.

Are you okay, Patty?

Did he just say "alpha male"?

Somebody give him some ice.