Feds

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS., INC.

YOU GUYS IN A GANG OR SOMETHING?

WE HAVE GONE OVER YOUR TEST RESULTS.

THEY'RE ADEQUATE, NOT EXCEPTIONAL.

YOUR MARINE RECORD HELPS,

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.

YOU'RE APPLYING TO THE HIGHEST LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY

IN THIS COUNTRY.

THERE ARE LAW SCHOOL GRADUATES OUT THERE,

PHI BETA KAPPAS.

I'VE GOT GUYS THAT SPEAK RUSSIAN, GERMAN, JAPANESE,

AND SOME OF THEM ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE FBI.

WE'RE REQUIRED TO ADMIT SOME WOMEN

INTO OUR TRAINING ACADEMY.

WE'LL GIVE YOU A FAIR SHOT,

BUT QUITE FRANKLY,

I DON'T THINK YOU'VE GOT A PRAYER.

UH!

OH, SORRY.

I'M OK.

UH!

OH, I'M SORRY.

NO. IT WAS MY FAULT.

OH! OW!

SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

NO, NO. YOU STAY UP.

I'LL GO DOWN. YOU STAY UP.

THANKS.

DON'T MENTION IT.

OH!

UH!

SORRY.

I NEEDED THAT.

HI.

HOW'S IT GOING?

BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

HI.

JANICE ZUCKERMAN. HOW YOU DOING?

ELLIE DeWITT. NICE TO MEET YOU.

IS THIS A DOG OR A PIG?

DO YOU WANT HELP WITH YOUR OTHER STUFF?

THIS IS MY STUFF.

OH.

YOU WANT TO GO GRAB A BEER?

WE HAVE CONSTITUTIONAL LAW APPLIED TO LAW ENFORCEMENT

IN TWO HOURS TAUGHT BY HUPPERMAN,

SPECIAL PROSECUTOR, ABSCAM.

WROTE TWO BOOKS ON THE CONSTITUTION.

I'M FINISHING HIS SECOND BOOK.

IT'S ONLY THE FIRST DAY.

WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO?

I'M SORRY.

OK.

YOU WIN.

WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY, OK?

YOU CAN ASK ME THREE QUESTIONS.

OK.

THANKS.

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

NEW YORK. SINGLE. 29.

NO BROTHERS. NO SISTERS.

GRADUATED AMHERST. ECONOMICS. '81.

COLUMBIA. ANTHROPOLOGY. '83.

SMITH.

PUBLIC AFFAIRS IN POSTDOCTORAL WORK.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME?

THANKS.

WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW IT.

TRY.

TULLAHOMA COLLEGE. PART-TIME STUDIES PROGRAM.

YOU'RE RIGHT. NEXT QUESTION.

YOU GO TO MOVIES?

YEAH.

JOHN FORD'S GRAPES OF WRATH.

AUTHOR, V.S. NAIPAUL.

PAINTING, THE CONVERSION OF ST. PAUL

BY CARAVAGGIO.

MUSIC, ROLLING STONES.

THE ROLLING STONES?

LAST QUESTION!

ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS UPTIGHT?

EXCUSE ME?

WE'LL BE BUNKING TOGETHER FOR 16 WEEKS.

AM I LIVING WITH A PECKERHEAD,

OR SOMEONE WHO CAN BE QUASI-NORMAL?

I'M NOT A PECKERHEAD.

I'M QUASI-NORMAL,

EXCEPT UNDER CONDITIONS OF EXTREME ACADEMIC STRESS.

GOTCHA.

OK. WELL, THANKS. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

THANKS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

IF THE SUBJECT ISN'T ARMED,

YOU SHOULD CUFF HIM

USING NOTHING BUT THE PROPER ATTITUDE.

WE'RE HERE TO TEACH YOU THAT.

I'LL NEED A VOLUNTEER. HOW ABOUT YOU?

ME?

YES.

OH, YEAH. NO PROBLEM.

GOOD.

NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE STANDING WRIST LOCK.

FBI. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

SPREAD 'EM.

LEFT HAND UP IN THE AIR. HIGHER.

OW!

"OW" IS RIGHT.

YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE THE SUSPECT FEELS PAIN.

LET HIM KNOW HE'S UNDER ARREST.

AT ALL TIMES, MY GUN WAS UNUSED.

MY BODY WAS POSITIONED WITH MY GUN AWAY FROM THE SUSPECT.

KILLING YOU WITH YOUR GUN WOULD SUIT HIM JUST FINE.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THAT'S OK.

SEE,

THE KEY HERE-- ATTITUDE.

DOMINATE THE SITUATION.

LET'S TRY IT.

ARRESTING OFFICERS, IDENTIFY YOURSELVES,

AND, SUSPECTS, RESIST A LITTLE.

MAKE IT REAL.

BUDDY, YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF.

I THINK THESE GIRLS ARE PRETTY TOUGH...

ESPECIALLY YOURS.

FBI. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

HANDS UP. FACE THE WALL.

WHAT?

FBI.

NEED ANY HELP?

ARE WE DONE YET?

EXCUSE ME.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY SUSPECT.

IF I'M YOUR SUSPECT,

HOW COME I'M NOT ARRESTED YET?

OH!

OK, YOU'RE ARRESTED. YOU HAPPY NOW?

DeWITT.

YOU FAILED TO IDENTIFY YOURSELF.

YOU'RE AN FBI AGENT. GET IT RIGHT NEXT TIME.

YES, SIR.

PRACTICE...A LOT.

THERE'S ONLY ONE PROPER WAY

TO CONDUCT A CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION IN THE UNITED STATES.

WE HAVE A DOCUMENT WHICH SETS OUT THIS WAY.

MR. GRAHAM,

WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS DOCUMENT?

THE CONSTITUTION, SIR.

YOU MEAN THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?

YES, SIR.

THANKS.

THE FBI IS OUR HIGHEST LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY.

WE DO NOT VIOLATE THE CONSTITUTION EVER.

QUESTION. WITHIN THE CONSTITUTION,

IS THERE A SPECIFIC AMENDMENT THAT PROTECTS AMERICANS

FROM UNREASONABLE SEARCH AND SEIZURE?

MR. BUTZ.

THE FOURTH AMENDMENT ST--

CORRECT.

QUESTION. WHAT IS REQUIRED OF A FEDERAL OFFICER

BEFORE ISSUING A WARRANT FOR SEARCH OR SEIZURE?

MS. DeWITT.

UH...SUSPICION?

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

SUSPICION OF EVIDENCE ON THE PREMISES?

HAVE YOU READ MY BOOKS?

NOT YET, SIR.

SIT DOWN, DeWITT.

MS. ZUCKERMAN,

CAN YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION?

FEDERAL OFFICERS DON'T ISSUE WARRANTS.

THE CONSTITUTION REQUIRES THAT A FEDERAL OFFICER

OBTAIN A SEARCH OR SEIZURE WARRANT

FROM A FEDERAL JUDGE ONLY AFTER SHOWING CAUSE.

THANK YOU.

MS. DeWITT,

THE FBI ADMITS 40 TRAINEES

INTO EACH AGENTS TRAINING PROGRAM.

LAST SESSION, NINE GRADUATED.

31 DIDN'T.

FOR EVERY TRAINEE THAT BECOMES AN AGENT,

THERE ARE THREE OTHERS WHO BECOME ENCYCLOPEDIA SALESPERSONS

OR TELEPHONE REPAIRPERSONS OR PERHAPS BEAUTICIANS.

DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

YES, SIR.

NOW, ON MY SIGNAL, YOU WILL TURN AROUND,

STEP FORWARD,

GRIP THE BAR,

AND HANG MOTIONLESS.

BEGIN.

THIS IS USEFUL.

YOU'LL RAISE YOUR CHIN ABOVE THE BAR.

RIGHT.

BEGIN.

IF YOU CAN'T CONTINUE,

JUST SIT DOWN ON THE MAT.

ADD THREE MORE.