Shark Killer

♪

: As promised, our beaches

are safe once again.

We have taken every precaution

to ensure that this is the last shark

you'll see in these waters for a very long time.

Now, let's hit the water and get the summer started.

: Yeah, let's go!

: Mayor! Mayor!

We may still have a shark problem.

Lower your voice, Raymond!

Don't be an ass.

We don't have a shark problem without a shark.

Mr. Walker says we caught the wrong one. It's too small.

- I've heard that one before. - But what if he's right?

He's not! Besides, Raymond, we never hired him.

He doesn't work for us, remember?

- Well maybe we should. - Maybe he should take his

over-priced services somewhere else.

Somewhere that actually has a shark problem.

He says the public has a right to know.

Where is that son of a bitch?

Now, you see here, you son of a bitch!

If you think for one second I'm going to stand by

and allow you to spread wild rumors to the press

about another sh ...shark,

you're stupider than I thought!

Why is it you people never listen?

- I hate the damn ocean. - Are we clear?

Look!

Cindy! Cindy!

: Okay, come on...

- (man): Behind you! - (Cindy): Ahh!

Hi!

I don't think we've met.

I'm Chase Walker.

There's someone at the door.

Go away!

All right, all right!

Well, hello.

Hmm. Chase Walker?

Oh, look, I'm sure I'm not the father,

I'm always very careful that way.

We can all be thankful for that.

Well, hey, wait! Where are you going?

We were just getting to know each other.

Be ready to go in 10 minutes.

I'm ready to go now.

: Mmm...

Where are you going?

To where the sharks fly, sweetheart.

Go back to sleep. You deserve it.

: You know, it's been over 10,000 miles,

and I still don't know anything about you.

I think we should probably keep it that way.

Come on, I don't even know your name.

- Do you ever stop talking? - One of my many charms.

What can I say?

It's Jasmine.

Jasmine... I like that.

You know what I love about South Africa, Jasmine?

That none of the girls here know anything about you?

Ha! Good one. But no.

I love South Africa because I'm here getting to know you.

Okay, look, you can cool it, all right?

I'm not one of your little beach girls

that's gonna fall for

your endless supply of cheesy lines.

You know, there's a lot to be said

for learning how to take a compliment.

So... Is Jake house-sitting or what?

Hell of a view, wouldn't you say?

Not really my taste,

but whatever floats your boat.

I see you're still not a fan of the water.

So what gives? Did you rob a bank

or con some woman out of her fortune,

because we both know you're sure as hell not smart enough

to make this kind of money on your own.

Yeah, I'd be careful there, Chase.

Things have kind of changed

since you and I were kids.

Yeah? Sorry to see your face

never really got over that awkward phase.

Always a smart ass, eh?

Always a criminal.

Jake specializes in high-end security transportation services.

There's nothing criminal about it.

I see you have her well-trained.

- I am his lawyer. - Okay...

She's very protective.

Letting a girl fight your battles.

I thought you said things had changed since we were kids.

Trust me, this is one girl

you don't want to get on the wrong side of.

Might be a little late for that,

but thanks for the tip.

What is it you want?

The only thing you're good for.

I want you to kill a shark.

You know what this is, Biggs?

This is a piece of Chase,

bought and paid for.

You see, I'm the only man that ever saved Chase's life,

and this is from the shark that was gonna kill him.

He owes me.

So now, when I whistle, he comes double time.

Isn't that right, Chase?

There's a great white that ate something of mine.

You're going to get it back for me.

Well, a shark can eat a lot of things.

What are you looking for?

An old pair of boots, maybe a license plate?

It's the largest diamond in existence.

It's unsellable because it's priceless.

One of a kind.

Kind of like Jasmine here.

I can assume there was some idiot in possession of

this priceless diamond when it was eaten?

There's a lot of great whites out there.

Just so you know, I kill the wrong one, it's not my problem.

: This one's got a big black fin.

Real big. I've never seen anything like it.

Couple of notches in the scoop.

You'll know it.

What're you still standing here for? We're done.

Next time I see you, I want something bright and sparkly

distracting me from that ugly face of yours.

I'm gonna need a driver. Someone who knows the area.

Whatever. Hire someone.

That's your problem. You owe me the favour, remember?

Yeah. I remember.

I'll take her.

- How much does she charge? - Really?

- She's off limits. - I completely understand.

A guy like you needs to be careful.

You can't have her spending too much time with a real man.

Okay.

Give it your best shot.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no--

Take him wherever he needs to go

until this thing is done.

I am not a chauffeur, especially not for this moron!

You're wasting time.

The quicker you find the shark,

the quicker you'll be done with the moron.

You've got to be kidding me.

What?

How dare you!

Is this going to be an ongoing thing? The slapping?

Because I kinda like it.

Okay, look, I am not some prize

in your stupid competition.

Oh, wait, just so we're clear,

Jake's the one with the attitude, not me.

"How much does she charge"?

Hey, you can't go holding everything I say against me.

We will never get along.

Ha!

Look, just...

get in the car... get in the car.

Okay, so what's the story with the shark tooth?

Ask my brother.

Okay, and who's your brother?

Jake, ask Jake.

Jake is your brother?

Well... not by blood, thank God.

I'm adopted.

: No, no, no-no-no-no-no-no-no.

There's been a mistake. I can't stay here.

Don't worry, Jake's picking up the tab.

Oh, sorry, dude.

This is close to the ocean.

I hate the ocean.

I hate the sound of it, I hate the look of it,

and I hate the smell of it.

Are you kidding me?

I never kid about this.

You're in Cape Town, you're practically surrounded

by the ocean, and not to mention,

you're here to hunt a shark.

Yeah?

Well, I'm not getting out of this car.

Nope, and I am not staying here.

Now this.

This is what I'm talkin' about.

You are so strange.

All right, I'll need you to pick me up at 7 AM.

Mm-hmm.

We're gonna need a guide,

a boat, sonar,

a depth finder, GPS, the works.

And don't forget, dive equipment.

And maybe a smaller car.

Pass, pass, pass, pass! Yes, yes...

- Hi, excuse me... - Yes?

Do you have any rooms available?

"Rooms available"?

Around the corner. Number 6.

Um...