Disenchantment

Damn, Dagmar,

you murdered your own daughter by tossing her into the ocean.

You're even more depraved than I thought.

Oh, Satan, darling, save the pillow talk for later.

- Aw. -Dagmar killed Bean?

- -Aw. We were all on her health insurance.

- -

Did I die? Am I in heaven?

Not yet.

But Bean was your whole plan, darling.

You just threw the bloody plan in the bloody ocean.

Speaking of which, would you mind not twirling that so much?

You're dripping on my spats.

Ugh. For the King of Hell, you sure do bellyache a lot.

Oh, don't give me that look.

We need a Bean to unlock the magic.

It doesn't say which Bean.

Wait a second.

Where's this head's goddamn body?

Hide the body.

Mind your head, ma'am.

I mean never mind.

They're coming out! Everyone, skedaddle!

Ow! My eyeball's stuck!

Ow!

Now, we just have to find the body, some assembly required,

and everything will be mine.

I mean ours.

Bean can't be dead.

Come on, Bean.

Look! There she is!

Oh. Wait, no, that's a canoe paddle.

No, wait, there!

Oh, wait, no, another canoe paddle.

There she... Oops.

Dead walrus. Aw. So bloated.

Elfo, I dug her too.

Not in the creepy-crawly way you did, but she's gone, chumley.

What? Blood?

No. No.

No, no, no, no, no. No!

Bean! Bean!

Is he swimming or drowning?

Let's wait and see.

This is all that's left of her.

One single, solitary, sturdy boot.

Your feet were so big.

She was the first person I ever loved.

She was the first person I didn't hate.

She was the first person to permit me to sit down.

Hey, what you doing, Bunty? Stand up!

For once, Luci's right. Sitting around won't help anybody.

I know you're sad.

I'm sad, Bunty's sad, Luci's something,

but Bean died trying to save Dreamland, and we have to finish what she started.

We don't know exactly what Dagmar and Satan want, but I declare,

by the crusty yarn strings of my sacred mop,

the only thing standing between those jerks and us is us.

Who's with me? For Bean.

- For Bean! - For Bean!

Mop water!

Thui.

We can't let Dagmar find Bad Bean's body.

Got it, naked Elfo?

Don't you worry, I found a brilliant hiding place.

Too brilliant for me, actually. I've forgotten where.

I gotta go to bed, I'm exhausted.

Throw me my shorts.

Huh?

Bunty!

I do me best, Elfo. I left a mint on the pillow.

I don't see any mint, Bunty.

Look down the neck stump. Nighty-night.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

presenting the brand-new husband of the brand-new Queen of Dreamland,

get ready to meet our final boss and fearless leader,

the Prince of Darkness, the King of Cruelty,

the Asswipe of Alabama,

I'm talkin' 'bout Satan!

Hello, Steamland!

Hello, schmoes! Ha ha. Your queen is home.

I can't hear you.

That's it, you little yutzes.

"Little yutzes"?

What's that supposed to mean?

Ooh. You think Dagmar knows Trøg Leavo?

Oh, she knows about the very thing

that guards the very stuff that makes us so very paranoid.

My contemptible, quivering subjects, you have nothing much to fear from me.

However, someone in Dreamland, no doubt, in this very crowd,

swiped something precious of mine.

A headless body.

Don't look at me, I only collect the heads.

The bodies go to Fred, the dog-food maker.

Don't look at me. I only use low-grade human beef.

Enough! Whoever has the body will find their lives a living nightmare

until I get it back, and I will get it back.

Any questions?

Come on, don't be shy.

I'm getting angry!

Now I'm calming down.

I have a question.

It seems like we have to wait a year or more

for each new development around here.

How can you expect us to even remember what's going on after such a long delay?

You're keeping me waiting right now--

Any other stupid questions?

Oh, you mean like the stupid question you just asked?

Fine. Let the interrogations begin.

Let's start with, say...

Elfo, Luci, Mop Girl, and Bunty.

Nice knowing you.

What are you laughing at? Grab the pig too!

Ooh. My pork rinds. And anus.

Ah. I still can't believe you're for real.

Mora, you're for real, right?

I've had a lot of dreams and delusions and drug trips lately...

Cool.

-And ayahuasca retreats. -

But you're real, right?

Aw. Look at your toes curl. I wish I had toes.

I feel better right now than I've felt since, probably, ever.

I don't wanna go back home.

This damp cave is pretty cozy.

Then don't go back home.

Yeah, right.

Hey, where's my other boot?

I'm serious. Bean, you're free.

The Land World thinks you're dead, so nobody's gonna be looking for you.

-Let's just scram out of here. -I don't know.

Babe, your mom pushed you off a cliff.

-Balcony. -Way worse. Let's go.

I want to, I... I really do,

but my friends are up there and... and I'm their queen.

Come on, Queen Bean.

This might be our only chance.

Think of this moment like a loophole around fate.

I know this rickety, little beach shack where we could live happily ever after.

Sweetie, every day could be like today.

Ugh! Waiting is the worst torture of all, except for the torture.

You're not in our gang, Merkimer.

Guard, this demon is hurting my feelings.

Listen up, you meatballs.

We'll be fine, as long as everyone keeps their big, fat mouth shut.

You're not the one with headless evidence lounging in your bed.

Quit bragging, horndog.

I'm sorry, wee Elfo.

I'm usually in less of a rush when I hide a body!

Stop whisper-shouting secrets!

Remember, everyone gives the same answer.

"I don't remember nothin'."

You can use proper grammar, if you know any.

Excellent. I've barely been paying attention.

Well, if it isn't Bean's disgustingly diverse group of gals and pals.

I'll deal with the demon.

Come, Luci, and I'm not just yanking your chain.

Yikes!

And I'll take the rest of you. In order of height, tallest first.

Oh! Lousy size queen.

That way, I'll be all warmed up

by the time I get to a certain pathetic peon with pointy ears.

They're not that pointy, cone bra.

Oh, Bunty!

Where were you last night?

Well, from 7:30 to 9:00,

I hang from a rope and scrub the outside castle walls,

then from 9:00 to 11:00, I'm down in the coal mines, digging.

From 11:00 to closing,

I'm an exotic dancer at Shrimpo's Clown Room

where I go bomb-a-bomb-a-bomb-bomb-bomb for money.

Think Bunty spilled the beans?

Not only that,

she put 'em in a big, old, cast-iron pot and is stirring a whole mess of chili

for Dagmar to feed to our dead bodies.

I hope there's sour cream.

Next!

Now I can't get that goddamn "boom-boom" out of my head.

Step right up, ladies and gents.

The sand in the litter boxes have been fully sifted

and the freaks are ready to be ridiculed.

But don't feed them, it only gives them hope.

Oh, Sorcerio. The only thing freaky about me

is how much I miss you.

Hey, look at that lonely fella.

Can't you see I'm pining here?

Hey, Lamb, how many eyeballs does that guy got?

I don't know. One, two...

-Ow! Hey! -

How many baseballs does that guy got?