Miriam Margolyes: Almost Australian

In Australia, there is a light - the sky.

Life feels brighter here.

This pulsing nation with so many complex, wondrous people.

I need to know about this country.

Please give a very warm welcome to Miriam Margolyes!

Six years ago, after coming here for, gosh, nearly 40 years...

And the youngsters today may recognise her

as Professor Sprout from Harry Potter.

We can now call her our own.

..I finally became an Australian citizen.

It was a day of supreme happiness, of real joy.

But it also made me realise how little I know about the place

I can now call home.

I live in a silly little bubble

of people who think like me and sound like me.

So this 78-year-old Jewish lesbian is embarking on a 10,000-kilometre,

two-month journey to explore

what it means to be an Australian today.

Nice to meet you. Welcome to Daly Waters.

Where's the loo?

Well, that's a bit desperate.

Oh, he muffed it!

For me, it's going to be a very exposing experience.

What you're facing, it's so tough.

Yep. It is.

I had no idea.

There will be attitudes that I will find difficult to absorb.

You fucking idiot!

And that will be wonderful things that I never knew about.

I can't believe it.

That really worked.

I'm old, I'm rickety, I'm arthritic.

Uh... thank you.

But, you know, you've got to get out there.

Jesus!

I won't be stopped.

I'm Miriam Margolyes...

..almost Australian.

I didn't expect to be doing this on camera, but never mind.

Everybody will have to see all my knickers are the same colour.

Well, at least they're clean.

That's the main thing.

So this is my view.

I fell in love with the Southern Highlands of NSW

when the movie producer George Miller brought me here

to make Babe, 25 years ago.

My partner, Heather, loved it too,

so we built our home near the town of Robertson.

Heather usually dyes them for me, navy blue.

I like a navy blue knicker.

She does it for love.

I wanted to become a citizen because my partner, Heather,

the love of my life, is Australian.

Citizenship meant that I could be with her

and travel with her more easily.

This is my Australian dream, and Heather's.

This is our paradise.

To be honest, my Australian dream really began in England

as a schoolgirl, watching these films

made by the Australian government to entice would-be immigrants.

I was dazzled by this sunny, optimistic country,

where migrants were welcome to enjoy a good life,

work hard and own their own home.

It was an irresistible dream, and I embraced it completely.

But now, I wonder if I was looking at Australia

through rose-coloured glasses.

Great Expectations.

So, on this road trip, I want to find out

what the Australian dream means to different people...

That's me when I was little, with Mummy and Daddy.

..and if the Australia I fell in love with

still exists today.

Knickers.

Of course, a lady of my years

needs to travel with one facility constantly nearby.

That must be the loo.

Which is why I'll be driving this fully equipped motorhome.

How does it work?

I think I might get in backwards.

One tit.

Two tits.

Lift up lid, pull down knickers, put bottom sideways.

I'm going to show you. It's like this.

What I would call a sideways job.

So, cheerio, Robertson.

In eight weeks, I hope to return wiser

and, you never know, a bit more than ALMOST Australian.

This is such a chance for me.

I'm very excited because I want to investigate...

..people's hopes and dreams.

My first stop is 150 kilometres north, in Sydney,

where at the ripe old age of 39, I first landed in Australia.

For a new arrival from England, and for many of my compatriots,

Bondi Beach was a dream come true, and it still is.

Breathe, breathe!

That's it.

When you grew up as I did in wartime England,

and things were drab and grey and worried,

and then coming to Australia and seeing for the first time

that sweep of beach, the great Australian sky,

big, blonde, beautiful people...

..because they weren't fat then, was really like a kind of paradise.

Can I talk to you?

Have you been swimming, and is this a daily thing?

Every day of my life.

And do you pee in the sea?

No, no, no.

Well, fish do. You got to keep it clean.

Fish do all that sort of stuff.

This little guy here, he's from Russia.

The early morning swimmers. All year, no stop.

Rain... Well, you look pretty fit.

Oh, don't know about that. How old are you?

It's improved your immune system. 87.

87?! This little bloke's 79.

We're going to send him back to Russia.

I'm 80, so we're of age. That is fantastic!

You're inspirational.

Thank you. All the best.

Dasvidaniya. Dasvidaniya, you.

When I first came here, in 1980,

I dreamed of buying a home near the beach.

I fell in love with Australia.

I wanted a piece of Bondi.

Lo and behold, there it is.

In those days, it was much easier to get onto the property ladder.

I bought it in 1984 for $98,500.

Bondi was a very raffish suburb, with lots of drug takers,

a place people didn't really want to be in,

and everybody thought I was crackers to buy it.

But I liked the location.

It's got two bedrooms, steps down to a yard with a tree,

and it's lovely.

And when I look at it, I think how clever I was to buy it.

Of course, I can't take all the credit.

I was influenced by Mummy.

With no formal education, she traded her way out of poverty

by buying houses, doing them up and renting them out.

So today, I've arranged to meet her modern-day counterpart,

at Paddy's Market in Sydney...

..where I can stock up for my trip as well.

Have you got any long ones? That's all we have.

If you haven't got long ones, we'll get two short ones.

I'm going to meet a rather interesting woman

who started life in another country, like me.

She's Chinese, which is not a lot of help here,

because this is Chinatown.

Are you Miriam?

Yeah, are you Monika?

I'm Monika. Oh, my God, so nice to meet you.

I'm very pleased to meet you.

Biggest fan. Oh, I'm struck.

That's so nice of you.

But forgive me my Chinglish, alright?

After 30 years, my language is still a little bit like..."hee-hee"

You speak better Mandarin than I do.

Oh, thank you. (LAUGHS)

When I first come to Sydney, this the first place

I start my business.

So I didn't sell the vegetable in Mandarin.

You know, remember in those days

we would have something called floppy disk?

You sold floppy disks? Yes, for many, many years.

Show me your... OK, let's - let's go.

I'll follow you.

Is that beetroot? Beetroot.

I want beetroot, ginger, and carrot.

Oh, thank you.

Do you think you've achieved your Australian dream?

Uh... I think I'm still achieving.

So, you know, it's like many Chinese...

Are you a millionaire yet? I'm a multimillionaire.

Fuckin' hell, are you really? I know, I know, a millionaire.

That's wonderful. Oh, thank you.

I don't often hug a millionaire. That's really nice.

Really? Oh, my god!

Thank you so much. That looks good.

Monika arrived here in 1988 as a student.

So how did she go from selling floppy disks

to becoming a multimillionaire?

I was in the market almost, like, 10 years.

I was working in a shop at the daytime,

and the weekends, I work in the market.

To earn as much as you could.

Yes, yes.

What do you do now?

I call myself not the realtor, or real estate agent.

I call myself a property concierge.

That's really cool - concierge.

That's brilliant.

I find out, what's the reason you are in Australia?

What is your Australian dream?

You want to start a family here?

The children want to go to school?

So you're selling the dream, as well as the house.

I'm selling Australian dream, yes.

What kind of people do you sell to?

I sell to anybody.

But my strength is... of course, because look at my eyes,

you know, I'm Chinese.