100 Nights of Hero

-Are you ready? - Ready.

Then we shall begin.

This is Agnes,

and it's her wedding day.

Agnes didn't want to get married.

This man is a stranger, and his breath is not ideal,

but she had to.

Get married. Have a son.

It was the law.

It wasn't always like this.

In the beginning, a god named Kiddo made the world.

This world was just a beautiful garden,

and it was simple.

Once Kiddo was sure that her little humans

were comfortable and happy, she let them be.

Kiddo's father, Birdman,

had sworn that he would not meddle in his daughter's world.

No, he would just let the humans eat and sleep

and mate and relax. -Kiddo.

-But alas, it was just too boring.

They are without purpose,

breeding left, right, and center.

They know nothing!

They don't know who you are. They don't know who I am.

This won't do, Kiddo.

Leave it with me.

-Birdman was feeling especially omnipotent that day,

and soon every corner of this world was filled with his image.

Those who would worship him, of course...

So pleases Birdman!

...and many, many rules.

-I solemnly swear to submit to you

and to avoid temptations, both mental and physical.

I promise all this with a chaste heart.

And I promise to give you many heirs.

So wishes Birdman. -So wishes Birdman.

Oh, much better.

But Agnes won't have an heir.

No one knows it, but she's already pregnant.

And her daughter, Hero,

will change the world.

Six months.

Six months, and not even a hint of pregnancy.

Most young couples under my parish give birth

barely seven months after they marry.

It can't be Jerome.

My family has produced countless heirs.

Sons. Nothing but sons.

I can see that.

But we're only as strong as our weakest members.

And weakness can run in the family.

Where is your father?

- Still -- Still dead, sir.

Sorry.

This is Cherry.

Our story really starts with her.

Cherry is Birdman's ideal wife --

beautiful, obedient,

good at chess...

...and falconry.

But none of that will save her at this particular meeting.

And who is that?

That's Hero, sir. My maid.

-Hero is technically Cherry's maid,

but she is so much more than that.

She is Cherry's best friend.

-We've been trying every night since the wedding, sir.

You're from excellent stock.

And you...

seem pretty healthy and fit,

despite your dead relatives.

Report back to me after 101 nights.

Very specific.

-I am very specific, young lady.

And if you return and I see no progress...

...you will not see next spring.

Now, hurry up and conceive.

Tomorrow.

As it turns out...

...Jerome had told a fib.

This is your room.

Let me know if you need anything.

The wedding night hadn't...

...quite gone as he'd promised.

-Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

-And neither had any other night.

Brutal.

And it won't be Jerome who suffers the consequences.

Birdman loves women, of course, but...

-...he doesn't take disappointment well.

[ Owl hooting, insects chirping ]

Clarence?

-Fact -- there are no good women.

Yes.

-I loved her, Jerome. -I know.

-Oh, God, I -- I wooed her with gifts and with charm.

I promised her many things,

and in return, I demanded only one thing...

- -...absolute and total loyalty.

-Yes, absolutely. -She agrees.

We get married, but...

something is off, you know?

So as a test, my father hires a servant to seduce her.

-No. You caught them? -Not exactly.

But he had a pair of her knickers

and a precise description of a scar on her inner leg.

-What did your wife say? -She denied it.

Said that he had removed her knickers by force.

- You didn't believe her?

No one did.

The Beaked Brothers took my castle and drove me out of town.

-And your wife? -

-You could remarry. -Oh, please.

Come on! What's your type?

I mean, the usual, you know?

Like, beautiful, chaste, good at listening,

mending socks, interested in maps, falconry, chess, etc.,

but obviously not excessively good at any of those things.

My wife is exactly like that.

True.

You lucky thing.

Hm.

Forgive me, but, uh...

not even a hint of pregnancy?

Eh. Any day now.

-I have heard rumors. -Rumors?

About how you prefer to, um...

to hunt and -- and ride and play darts

with your handsome friends... - What?

-...rather than spending time in the bedroom with your wife.

No, no! You misheard.

My wife and I can't keep our hands off each other.

It's wild.

Mm.

It's horrible how gossip spreads, isn't it?

Also funny how easily it happens for some, though --

baby thing, right?

I mean, hell, I even know some women who have so many,

they have one to spare.

Who?

Ah. I know people.

-I'm a very busy man with many business affairs.

-No doubt. -So, unfortunately,

I must go out of town for a while...

for work.

-Oh. -Surely no one can blame me.

I'm not even here to get my wife pregnant.

Well, have a wonderful trip.

Only, would you...

It's embarrassing. Would you allow me

a couple of days to arrange a new place to stay?

Don't be silly.

Of course you can stay.

I know times are tough.

You're not worried, though, are you?

-How so? -Well...

About leaving your wife here alone...

- -...with me?

Not at all. I, uh...

...I trust you.

My wife would never.

Listen, Jerome, my wife -- RIP --

she couldn't wait to jump into bed with a servant,

and, well, look at me.

Oh!

How dare you? - Whoa!

How dare you?

You smug bastard! -Smug bastard, is it?

-My wife would never jump into bed with -- with a servant

or you or anyone, for that matter.

-Prove it. -I shall.

As I said, I'll be away for a while on business.

You can try and seduce her all you like.

Good luck. How long do you need?

Easy. Give me a month.

Have 100 nights.

It won't make a difference.

I know my wife to be faithful.