The Last O.G.

What does it mean to be a man?

Being a man used to mean

being able to handle your business.

A man don't cry.

A man don't ask for help.

A man don't even go to the doctor.

Catch me if you can, Diabetes!

But now in this present time, rules are different.

Now, a man can be anything he wants.

Hell, he can even be a woman,

like the dude on the Wheaties box.

Sometimes, it's like there's no rules at all.

I don't know if that makes things easier or harder.

It's a mad house!

A mad house!

I keep telling y'all. I'm wild.

Don't let these curls fool you.

I'm out of my mind crazy, bruh.

Stole somebody's Citi Bike, never returned it.

Okay, okay. You think that's bad?

Yo, one time,

I stole a horse and buggy from Central Park.

How you do that?

I caught the coachman slipping.

He was coming out of the grocery with a handful of bags.

I hemmed him up in the alley,

got him for one of them avocados,

snatched his hat and coat,

horse never knew the difference.

I made like $88 before 5-0 rode me down.

Not to be impressed by anything you did wrong,

but I'm impressed.

- Thank you. - Fool?!

You know you can't tame no horse!

Stop lying!

Close the door!

Okay, I hear your horse thievery,

and I up you the Statue of Liberty.

- Word? - Word.

Now, this is before 9/11,

so there weren't no security up in that bitch.

Now, my boy and I, we bum-rushed the statue,

and he drops every tourist from the panties down,

and I rob everybody

from the tits to the torch.

That might be the grimiest shit I've ever heard.

'Cause robbing the Statue of Liberty is just un-American.

One time I killed a pigeon.

Killing a pigeon's definitely messed up,

- but I think Big Country takes the cake. -

Big Country always take the cake,

'cause he fat.

Come on, y'all got to laugh at that one.

That's funny.

Yo, Tray?

What's the wildest thing you ever done?

Who, me?

Ah, man.

- All right, so one time... -

It's my son.

Shahzad!

What's up, boy-boy?

Holla at me.

Hey, Tray?

Can you come to my school?

You want me to come to your school?

Yeah. Can you?

Sure. No doubt.

- Thanks, Tray. - All right.

All right, cool.

Gentlemen...

My son needs me.

- Congrats, Tray. Good for you. Impressive, man.

Your boy had three parents to choose from

and he called you.

It's that biological connection.

Gentlemen, this will be my finest

hour.

Shahzad?!

Oh.

You must be Mr. Barker.

Well, I must be.

What happened, Shahzad?

Eh, why don't you take a seat, Mr. Barker?

So, Shahzad was caught with a weapon

in school today.

What?! A weapon?

You brought a weapon to school?

You brought a gun to school?

Well...

Nunchucks?

Those ain't no weapons.

Oh, well, technically, they are.

Well, if you could call that a weapon,

you could call anything a weapon.

But it's literally a weapon.

Well, I call this a weapon.

I mean, this heavy as shit.

You could bash somebody's brains in

if you wanted to.

What is this thing?

It's a hole puncher. A hole puncher?

It could punch a hole in somebody's head, maybe.

- Sir, I... -

And this...

This is a shank.

- That's a letter opener. - A letter opener?

More like a stomach opener. Uh...

You know the damage you could do with this

on a prison yard?

- - Sir?

Okay, Mr. Barker?

Those nunchucks look like

some damn "Ninja Turtle" toys.

Them 'chucks is probably the safest thing in this room.

- Okay, this is absurd. - Absurd?

What's absurd is you trying to railroad my son

on some bullshit.

Did you see him use that weapon?

- Well, no, I didn't see him use them. - There you go.

The burden of proof is on you.

Or do you just want to see another black man

in the penal system?

Of course not.

Shahzad is a wonderful student.

He... he's never been a problem before.

But I'm afraid I am gonna have to dismiss him...

for the rest of the afternoon.

You know, maybe you can explain to him

why bringing something like this into school

is inappropriate.

Madam, I will do just that.

And thank you for your understanding

on this matter.

Shahzad?

Come.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- -

Yo, Shahzad?

You getting in trouble at school?

Are you trying to discipline me now?

I'm not disciplining you.

The school is disciplining you.

You the one that got suspended by your teacher.

- That was a guidance counselor. - Whoever it is.

If you gonna call me out here,

why you not respecting me as a parent?

Oh. You trying to be my father now?

Shahzad?

Please don't play me.

Look, I didn't call Mom or Dad,

because I didn't want a lecture, Tray,

but it looks like I'm gonna get one anyway.

You damn right.

If you gonna get me involved in this,

let me know what's going on.

Or I get your mother involved

and she can deal with it.

And you know you don't want that.

What? You don't rat.

That's your whole thing.

I'll rat your little ass out like Sammy the Bull did Gotti.

Start singing.

Fine.

- Here you go, sir. - Thank you.

- You're welcome. - Don't I get one?

Hell, no.

You brought nunchucks to school, man.

Now, fess up. Why you bring a weapon to school?

You said nunchucks aren't a weapon.

Of course, they're weapons.

You ever seen "Enter the Dragon" with Bruce Lee?

He could take out a whole room full of

With them nunchucks.

- Now, talk. -

I've been having trouble at school, all right?

- You mean bullying? - This kid named Noah.

He's huge, Tray.

He's fat and he has a pointy head.

Noah?

You got beef with a dude named Noah?

If you're gonna make fun of me, just forget about it.

Oh, hey, it's okay. It's okay.

I ain't mean to laugh, man.

It's not your fault.

It's just the way you were raised, man.

They got you all book-smart,

and you ain't got no street-smarts.

A'ight? You need to learn

how to handle yourself like a man out here, man,

'cause these streets are tough.

Guess who poured the concrete?

That's where I come in.

Now, me and you gonna have a day together, man.

You could consider this

your Tray-ning Day.

Mmm.

Come on, guys, we got zero. You've given me nothing.

Nothing. Anything? You got anything, please?

- Well, what about Canada, you know? - What about it?