Digging for Fire

Is this our new house?

No, this isn't our new house, bud, this belongs to one of Mommy's yoga clients.

Yeah, we couldn't afford this house,

- but we're happy to stay here. - Tim... Tim...

This is like a nice hotel house.

- Are you gonna be a D-O-U-C-H-E? - - No, no, no.

Okay, good.

It's gonna be a really super fun vacation for our family.

- Oh! - - Yeah!

- Are you excited? - - Yeah.

All right, Jude, it's time.

He's going first, for sure.

Okay, thank you.

All right.

Guys, swimming pool.

- Good, right? - Yeah, it's great.

- I'm really glad we're doing this. - Me too.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- It's gonna be fun. - We'll build a fire.

What do you think, buddy?

Good.

- Fun. - Yeah.

For me now, okay? Perfect.

Oh, yeah. That's called Child's Pose. You can put your head down right there.

That's a resting pose. Yeah.

It's like a really, really sweet resting pose.

Okay, and then you're gonna come up on your hands.

Up. Stay there. Now we're gonna pretend...

We're gonna come up a little bit, come up where you just were.

Right here. Okay, now we're gonna pretend we're a cow.

- We're gonna go like this. - Okay.

- We go like this. - A cow.

A cow. And we're gonna kind of arch our...

Yeah, that's perfect, buddy.

And then we're gonna pretend we're a cat and go like this.

Left leg, which is your left leg?

This one.

This one? This one's your right leg. This one's your left leg.

Okay, you're gonna fold this one in right here,

and now you're gonna bend over your left leg and touch your toes with your fingers.

Can you do that one?

You're gonna straighten your legs,

and you're gonna touch your toes like this. Can you do it like that?

Yeah.

- Wow, you sure can, and then you're gonna fold your head right over there.

God bless you, God bless you.

Gesundheit.

We're gonna go like this, and you're gonna put your head down for a second, like, down here.

- How does that feel? - - Good.

It feels good? Do you feel like a nice stretch in here?

Here, you want some of this?

Hey, Lee, look what I found on the hill.

So I was just digging around here, I wanted to see where that sprinkler went,

and I started kicking around and I found this.

- Can I touch it? - Yes.

And then this bone, Lee, was, like, back in the hill.

That's a bone? Let me see that. I wanna touch that.

I feel like we gotta know whatever...

I mean, are you trying to think like "pow pow"?

- Mom? - -Yes.

I think at some point, somebody put this... And if we go deep in here...

Oh, God. No, no, no.

And I feel like we should probably find out what it is.

Why?

See, now you know what happens to my brain, because now my brain thinks there's like 20 bodies...

There could be.

- There absolutely could be. - -It's my skin.

All right. Okay.

Great. So if I find it myself then I'll call, for sure.

It's ridiculous. Absolutely.

Okay, thank you. Yeah, goodbye. Thank you.

That was a joke.

Uh, the L.A.P.D. just said that it's not their job to dig out somebody else's trash,

and to call if we find the body,

but in the meantime, there's nothing they could do.

And she had a tone with me, like I was doing something wrong.

Good.

And I told her about the gun and I told her about the bone, so...

So, what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna dig out the body.

- Or I'm gonna at least get closer to that. - No, I think we're gonna leave it.

Lee, we can't leave it.

Tim, I was just putting down Jude and he was like, "Where's the bone?"

Fine, we don't tell Jude. I'm fine with that.

I told Jude, and he said, "What was it?" And I said it was just pretend.

- It was probably a bone from a coyote. - So let's find out if it's pretend.

Why?

'Cause there might be a dead body on our hill.

It's not our hill.

Fine, of the hill of this person.

Of my client, of my livelihood, my job,

And I can't have them come home after shooting a movie in Budapest and say,

"Oh, guess what. And by the way, while you're out of town,"

"my husband decided to, like, excavate your hillside,"

"and we found remains of a body, and we think it's conn..."

I mean, what? Connected to what? Where is it gonna go?

Well, obviously, I don't know the end of the mystery at the beginning of the mystery.

Right, if there's a mystery.

I mean, my guess is that it's an animal bone and it just happened to be...

- Some other animal shot it? - Yeah.

- Come on, Lee. Come on. - You come on.

Let's not make this a crazy drama. Let's just enjoy this place.

Okay.

- That was just way too easy. - I was thinking.

No, you said, "Okay."

And then I did see you think like, "Okay, I'm gonna appease my wife"

- "and then I'm gonna keep digging." -No. I won't dig.

- No more digging? - No more digging.

Let's go enjoy this place.

And if you want a little bit more of a stretch,

you could push your foot up to the ceiling.

Nice.

Tell me if this is too much.

Ready? Ooh-hoo!

All right, good. We made up a new game.

- Oh! - Great!

You're gonna arch your back and look up.

Then we're gonna round our backs

and kind of, like, tighten right in here, right in here.

No, don't get me! Don't get me, buddy! Don't get me!

What? Aah! Full wipe-out!

It's cheesy to say, but really,

and people say this all the time, but they really were, like, glowing when they came back,

- and they seemed... - Yeah.

Maybe this is just how I feel about Ken, but he seemed a lot nicer.

- Yeah. - Okay.

You know, like, they really... It's something that it's like...

I think you owe it to yourself to do it, you know?

Mmm.

Yeah, I mean, honestly...

I mean, I've always wanted to go to India, like...

- literally forever. - So do it, fucking do it.

You know, once you have kids, it's like you can't, I just can't...

That kid came into your life, it wasn't the other way around.

He came in to your home. Take your kid with you, you know?

Don't let that limit you, you know?

Ugh, yeah.

- No, it's not... - When we have kids,

we're not, you know, it's not gonna limit us.

- No. - -Mm-hmm.

What time was it when you looked at your phone?

It was uh... 5:30.

I have to get home and make the sweet pea dinner.

- Oh. - Yeah.

Have a fantastic time.

- Thank you so much for this beautiful session today. -You guys practice.

You don't have regular milk, do you?

Um, we have raw milk.

Do you have regular milk, though?

Um, today we have goat's milk, uh, coconut milk, almond milk, cashew milk, um, soy milk,

and then there's hemp and flax milk actually in the dry goods section.

So no just regular milk?

Not today.

I can't believe the poopies go in the ground.

- That's where dogs and cats go poopie, in the ground. -Jude, Jude, Jude...

Let's have dinner. It's not nice to talk about poopies at the dinner table, okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

- But guess what. - But I love you.

- And your daddy needs to do the taxes this weekend... -Yeah.

Because I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown if I eat dinner on this table like this one more time.

You got it. Hey, Jude, can I ask you a question about the taxes?

Uh, did you take a poopie today?

I didn't.

What?

- Tim, I'm not joking. - Okay, yeah.

We love you so much. You're such a good boy.

- Aw. - All right.

- See? You make me the bad guy. - How do I...

Because you have to do this.

And them I'm getting... I'm turning into this.

Okay, how about this?

You can go play. You can do whatever you want, buddy boy. Is that okay?

- I'll do the taxes. I'm sorry. - No, but see?

You see what happens?

And then I'm... And then I'm the bad guy.

Come here. Come here.

- Just do it. This weekend. I know. -Okay.

I don't wanna take

your mom and your step-dad's money in this moment.

And I don't think there's anything wrong with that 'cause we're talking about a three-year-old boy.

Mm-hmm.

If this conversation was about college and it was...

- college or no college, then... - They say, they say...

They say, they say that preschool now is more important in getting into college

- than, like, high school. - Stop it. I don't...

- It is! They say development is... -Who the fuck is "they"?

The experts, whatever. All the stuff that I read.

Yeah, and then we read another thing about preschools where, uh, the one that was all dirt

and they play in the dirt all the time

- and they raise those turtles. - Yeah, I read that article.

And you spend $12,000 for three months and you need to pay for every extra activity.

And there's...

Yeah, but, here's the thing, you wouldn't be paying for it.

That's the thing. That's the thing that I'm talking about.

How about our son goes to school in the neighborhood he lives in?

Yeah, how about that school is a six?

How about he's in preschool?

It's not a good preschool.

Let them run around and figure out problems on their own.

And so if one kid bites another kid,