Hollywood Darlings

Ah, you guys... I am struggling.

Georgia was up three times last night.

The sleep regression thing is not a joke.

- - Oh, I-I gotta grab this.

Hold on. Beverley Mitchell's assistant.

Oh, yes, you know what? Unfortunately,

she is gonna be unavailable, but she would really love

to work with you. Okay, keep her in mind

for next time. Okay, thank you.

What the hell was that?

You still have your fake assistant?

You know I'm not good at confrontation.

- I hate to say no to people. - Hold up.

You act like your own assistant? How did I not know this?

How did you not recognize her? She barely disguises her voice.

So that time when I asked you to go to the swat lodge

and your assistant said you were getting your hair colored that day?

Don't worry, I'm actually leaving right now

to interview real assistants.

Oh, great! So now your real assistant

can bail on me. Unbelievable!

- - Oh!

Hello? Beverley Mitchell's assistant.

Who does that? It's so weird.

- I know. - Oh, you know what?

Unfortunately, she's gonna have to reschedule.

Yes, I-I will be sure to tell her her mother called.

Okay, thank you. Girls!

So, how's the work stuff going?

I don't know, man.

I'm in, like, a weird, like, no man's land right now.

You know, with women in this business it's like,

you're able, you're a mom,

then you're a grandma.

You have, like, three major windows.

I'm just, like, somewhere in between.

You are so incredibly funny and talented

and I know that you're gonna just

be able to find the right place for you.

I'm not worried about that at all.

It's just frustrating, you know?

Okay, don't look now, but there's this girl behind you

- taking pictures. - What?

Of you?

Do I have something on my face?

- No. - She keeps staring over here.

- She's probably a fan. - She's probably not.

- Oh, stop it. - I'm serious.

Have a little bit of confidence.

Listen, this tea's going through me.

I'll be right back.

Hi. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be weird

and, like, creepy. I'm Jodie.

- Nice to meet you. - Uh, Kat.

Hi, I was sitting over there with my friend Christine.

- I'm sure you're a fan and... - Who?

My friend Christine Lakin. She was Al on "Step by Step."

I mean, you were staring at her a bunch

I figured you recognized her.

I was actually looking at my cousin's art instillation.

Right above her head.

- Oh! - Yeah.

- I'm... I'm sorry. - Yeah.

- Wow. - She's featured here.

You know what? I...

This is gonna sound really strange, um...

Would you actually pretend to be a fan of hers?

She's just having a really rough time right now

with her career stuff and she's, you know,

mom of a little six-month-old girl.

- Aw, yeah. - You guys could bond over

- some mom stuff maybe. - Um...

Okay, sure.

- Keep it between us kinda? - Oh, yeah,

- it's our little secret. - Really?

- Yeah. - Oh, my gosh.

You're amazing. Thank you.

Ugh, it's so crazy, like, ever since I had the baby,

I have to pee all the time.

- Hi. - Hi.

I'm sorry. Are you Al?

I mean, Christine from "Step by Step"?

- Yes. - I'm such a huge fan.

- Ohh. - Hi. I'm Kat.

- Nice to meet you. - Kat, so nice to meet you too.

- You have a girl? Boy? - Yes, she's my first.

- Oh, same! - Yeah?

Yeah. Six and a half months.

- What are you? - Seven.

- You're kidding. - Yeah.

Are you sleep training right now?

- We just started. - You're kidding.

- You know... Come sit. - Yeah.

- Are you sure? - Come sit. Yes, please.

- Come join. - Because I'm, like, having

the worst time doing this.

So sweet. I'm sorry, this is Jodie.

- So sorry. - Both: Hi.

- It's like, Mommy talk. - How are you?

No, I am so glad that you guys are talking

because she asks my advice. My kids are 8 1/2 and 6 like...

- Yeah. - I don't remember, you know?

I'm so thirsty right now. You get so thirsty when you're...

- So thirsty when you're... - Both: Breastfeeding.

Yes. I have, like, hemorrhoids right now.

Oh, my gosh. Listen, like, after you push out

a baby, and then you're gonna get hemorrhoids?

Like, that's what I'm like...

Maybe God is a man. You know what I mean?

- Yeah. -

Lori Beth, it's so good to see you.

I mean, I haven't seen you for so long.

I'm a little surprised that you're here for the assistant job.

I mean, I remember you from "All That."

- I mean, you were awesome. - I want to get in to

the other side of the business.

I follow you. I follow your blog.

It's just so inspirational to me that I think you could

- kinda be a mentor. - Oh, wow.

That's really sweet. Okay, well, one thing that I

kinda need you to do is I'm really bad

at saying no. I just don't like confrontation.

It like, just really upsets me

and just makes me really uncomfortable.

So I'm a constant Yes Girl,

and it really gets me into trouble

and I just... I really need someone to be in there

and to be able to say... no.

Absolutely not.

Oh, I mean, o...

Did that convince you?

- I say no constantly. - Oh, those were good.

It's actually perfect timing that I'm hiring you

because I just got this great opportunity

to direct a low-budget horror film.

- I'm so excited. - Oh, my goodness

- that is so awesome. - Yeah, oh, my gosh,

I've been thinking about doing the whole thing

in one room. Real-time.

- So efficient. - What?!

- So efficient. - I know, so great!

I know I'm taking some cues from the "Saw" days.

God, I've seen that movie, like, a zillion times.

- I'm so glad you liked it. - Oh, the best.

I think this is gonna be, like, the perfect fit

because you grew up in the business like I did,

- so... - I'm so excited!

Mm, you're gonna love this place.

The flavors are so amazing.

It totally started out as, like,

an artisanal ice cream shop in Fresno.

Ooh, they have the ironic hipster back.

What is that?

It's PBR with Slim Jims and Cookie Crisp

in a chocolate bearded cone.

A chocolate bearded cone?

You know, I think I am gonna get a semi-normal one.

Can I get the dark chocolate covered fig

with the rosemary flakes?

How is your cruelty free pomegranate aioli?

- Oh, yeah. - Mm. Can I try that?

Yeah.

- Both: Thank you. - No problem.

- Oh, this was a good idea. - Right?

Hey, thanks again for yesterday.

Sorry I was such a Debbie Downer.

Of course, like, I'm so glad I could be there, you know?

That makes me feel a lot better.

You know, like, and then I cried.

- Hello. - Because I could not...

- Both: Hi! - What's up, girl!

- You made it! - Both: Aww.

- So good to see you. - I can't believe I made it.

- Hi, Jodie. - Nice to see you.

You remember Kat from yesterday?

- I do. - Yeah.

Somebody said... Wow. Oh, you're a good hugger.

Long hug.

- Hey, pull up a chair. - Yeah?

- Yeah. Please. - Okay.

- I didn't know you invited her. - Oh, yeah.

Oh, my gosh, I thought just gonna be...

I mean, I told her we were gonna be here.

I'm so glad you could come join us.

- I had so much fun yesterday. - I had so much fun.

After we met, we did, like, a play date.

I'm so glad you stayed for dinner.

- Brandon is an amazing cook. - Ohh.

I'll tell him you said that. He'll like to hear that.

- He made tacos. - I haven't had Brandon's tacos.

You talk about them a bunch, but I...

You should come to the Mommy and Me music class

- we're gonna go to. - Yeah.

- Mm. - We're going this afternoon.

My kids are old and, you know, at this stage

it's just Mommy, you know?

The "and me" part, they're in school and...

No, just you!

Like, what am I gonna do without a baby?

I just feel like it's so serendipitous