Teach Her

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday sweet Addy.

Happy birthday to you. Oh.

You think

you know better than the city, the country, the state

and the federal government.

Will.

Will this affect his college opportunities?

Be right there, Bob.

Hey, Bob.

Hey, son.

Look at you.

You really going to do it, aren't you?

You are going to graduate college.

Just happened on this year.

A business associate.

Question.

Why the hell are you studying?

Hamlet?

Oh, make the rules, Bob.

They told me I have to take it.

You know, it doesn't matter.

I am so, so proud of you.

Thanks, dad. I know this.

I don't get them.

Don't.

You're supposed to be a business associate.

And they got you studying friggin hamlet.

I don't make the rules on time.

I just said I have to.

It's like one of those requirements, I guess.

I'm just,

I'm really proud of you.

I know that.

And here's the moment.

The moment we've all been waiting for.

I thought I had you.

It's, fatherly wisdom.

All right.

I knew it was coming. Advice?

This is serious now.

I've got some details.

We want to commend

something that's important to us.

And that is power.

Be able to control the world.

Be able to take care of our family.

Be able to stand up.

How do you do that?

You get stronger.

Do you get more fierce?

That's the way you lose.

You know, we're real. Power resides

in passivity.

The ability to do nothing.

But we don't know ourselves, so we have power.

You told me that.

How do you learn?

You're in a conversation with somebody, right?

You're not your friend,

and they're

speaking to you because they're trying to persuade you in some way, right?

Yeah.

They're trying to get you to think about it in their terms.

Right.

Just listen.

You know, what you're going to hear

is that they're going to say their points.

They're going to present their persuasions

and they're going to go boom boom boom boom.

And you know what.

That's all they got.

And you know how you know it.

And they're going to come back to the beginning.

You're going to rephrase it with the same damn thing.

Let them talk selves out.

Now you know what they know.

Let them expose themselves.

Exactly.

It's hard to do keeping your mouth shut.

It's hard to do.

But if you can't keep your mouth shut and they fuck with you,

kill them

just like that.

It's like that. You go.

Come on.

I think that's the one time I get.

Welcome, everybody, to English 101.

We're going to try to make this worth your while.

Even though many of you are required to be here.

But you're not English majors.

It makes one wonder where to start.

You talked about your dad last night.

My dad was Scandinavian literature.

You know, when your parents were.

If it's not together, the question becomes what?

Why is Western literature?

I don't know. Judaism.

Not everything is a sign.

So Atlantis is 10,000 B.C., approximately.

Literature does not exist yet.

What you have is philosophers.

Know I can't write on the board.

I'm out of board space.

So just put this down in your notes,

because you have

the next 80 years of your life to try to understand what I'm saying.

Understand this.

So you have an education in literature.

You have philosophers, philosophers,

philosophers, philosophers,

lovers of wisdom.

Philo is love.

Sophia's wisdom.

They are wisdom lovers.

That's what philosophers are

before literature. You have philosophers.

Aristotle talks about how.

Literature is philosophy plus entertainment.

You want to have philosophy and entertainment together.

Because if it's just philosophy, it's too dry for people

and entertainment in and of itself.

Has no

philosophical value and has no moral value.

It doesn't edify and improve persons.

Indeed, pure entertainment is the definition of pornography.

Oh, I don't know.

What do you think?

Don't give me that look.

You know, I don't care if this embarrasses you.

I have been through so many boyfriends, I can't even keep count at this point.

How's this thing even go?

Oh. Oh.

You go.

I have to chauffeur you around.

Well, it's not my fault you're still working on your license.

At least I graduated, Gertrude.

I graduated, I got my GED. I've been taught.

Yeah, because dad's principal of a private school.

You're only my stepdaughter. Don't forget.

Why don't you live with him?

If I'm such a monster?

Princess.

Princess Anne, you're an evil queen.

If I'm so evil,

why do you live with me anyway?

Oh that's right, because your daddy's a Nazi.

Not surprised. You're not far behind.

Just watch my car.

You mean dad's car?

That's his fault for not getting a pre-nup.

I think I'm here for a pickup.

All right.

Thanks, ma'am.

We will.

You were.

Oh, I'll be damned.

Do you know me?

Have we dated?

Let's just say

a woman like you.

Should be careful.

Oh. You're not so bad yourself.

Just as beautiful as I remember.

Don't

you know the radiation on those things is going to kill you someday?

Hold that thought quicker in your daddy.

Lift.

Let's go. Why?

So. You work there?

They got food.

We ain't got food.

Why don't you bring home some food?

You know, just because I work there.

It's just.

That's just business.

So all those years in college, this is what you've learned?

I mean, it's it's game theory.

It's the circle jerk, son.

It's you hard, dad.

So I,

I saw my teacher today at the restaurant.

Oh, that,

an important one that you're learning hamlet

from.

My grade school teacher.

Goody goody came into your store.

I took care of it. All right.

You took care of it.

How in the world did you take care of it?

I loved her.

Now, after.

I loved her.

And you left her

there. You didn't?

No, you did not.

All in a row.

Nice.

This guy. Everybody hold your books up.