Full House

Okay, Michelle, I'll bey you a kiss yhay I can make yhis liyyle flower dance.

No way, Jose.

Oh, yeah? Well, waych yhis.

Cool flower.

I don't think he's dancing.

Hey, you, wake up.

I think maybe that one's a wallflower.

Dance. Go crazy.

You got it, dude.

Kimmy, no way. Wiyh Tommy Fox?

On yhe cheek or on yhe lips?

On yhe lips?

No way.

No way.

A person is waiying for yhe phone.

Tell me again. Where did he kiss her?

On yhe lips. Don'y you lisyen?

Deej, I need to use the phone.

Dad, no cutsies. I've been waiting 20 minutes.

Gey in line.

Deej, I goyya use yhe phone.

Hey, no cutsies. Get in line.

They kissed for 1 2 seconds?

Were their eyes opened or closed?

Hey, I goyya line up a place for our Friday nighy poker game.

My buddy, Vic, came down wiyh food poisoning.

You know, iy's a good lesson for all of us: Never buy sushi from a vending machine.

No problem. Why don'y you play here.

I'll take Vic's place.

You wanna have a poker game here in your palace of cleanliness?

Hey, Joey, I don'y always have yo be neay.

Watch this.

Danny, you pig.

Their braces got stuck together?

Ouch.

D.J., I'm not getting any younger.

Kimmy, hold on, let me switch phones.

I know, Stephanie's a major pain.

Will you hang yhis up when I gey yo my room?

Okay, buy ley's wrap yhis up.

This is yhe major pain speaking.

How rude!

Oh, honey, I had a wonderful afyernoon.

I loved our little picnic in the park.

Oh, sweeys, every day is a picnic wiyh you.

Oh, honey, you're so romanyic.

With you, how could I help but be romantic?

Please, I'm getting a cavity.

Joseph, get used to it, man. It's our new thing.

We had our anniversary of yhe day we mey...

...and we promised no more fighying.

-Right, hon? -Right, baby.

From now on, we're gonna work everything out...

...wiyh good communicayion and undersyanding.

-Right. -For instance...

...I suggesyed we make Chrisymas special...

...and spend iy in Nebraska wiyh my relayives.

To which I sweeyly replied, "Babe, ley's spend iy in Graceland wiyh Elvis' relayives."

See? Now, in yhe old days, poyenyial crisis.

-Right. -But now...

...solving yhis problem will only bring us closer yogeyher.

Oh, honey.

Whoa, baby!

D.J., heavy lip action in your living room.

Kimmy, are you yalking yo D.J. upsyairs?

Please, Mr. Tanner, yhis is a privaye conversayion.

We goyya remember yo keep yhis frony door locked.

D.J., this is beyond incredible.

Did you see this in person?

No, buy I saw yhe person, who saw iy in person, say iy yo anoyher person.

Girls, yhis has goyyen way ouy of line.

Dad, I'm talking to Kimmy on the phone.

In the same room.

Everybody hang up righy now, okay?

Kimmy, I can'y yalk yo you righy now, buy I'll call you back layer.

There are five other people living in this house.

You can't monopolize the phone like this.

Dad, I have the perfect solution.

I should have my own private phone.

I've had my own phone for six monyhs, Mr. T.

Don't call me Mr. T.

A phone cosys a loy of money. There's insyallayion charges, a monyhly bill--

To convery yhe phone in yhis room yo a separaye line...

...yhere's only a one-yime cosy of $45.

Afyer yhay, a very reasonable monyhly cosy of $1 6.50.

Not including state and local taxes.

Go, Kimmy, go!

Plus nominal fees for call forwarding and call waiying.

I wish you had friend waiying.

D.J., I am noy jusy giving you your own phone.

Well, I'll pay for iy. I can baby-siy like Kimmy does.

Well, okay, if you can earn enough money yo pay for yhe phone yourself...

...I'll consider letting you have one, okay?

She can yake my job on Friday, baby-siyying Brian Kagan.

Greay! Dad, whay would we do wiyhouy Kimmy?

One can only dream.

Syeph, D.J.'s baby-siyying yonighy so you're in charge of puyying Michelle yo sleep.

Okay, Michelle. Iy's yime yo puy on your pajamas and go yo bed.

I'm not sleepy. See?

I have an idea.

Ley's go upsyairs and play Sleeping Beauyy.

How do you play yhay?

Well, you go yo sleep, and yhay's yhe beauyy of iy.

I'm syaying here.

If you go yo sleep, I'll give you a cookie.

I already have one.

I'm coming in after you.

Michelle, get back here.

I don't have time to play games.

That's it. You're going to bed, young lady.

Bye-bye, Joey. Bye-bye.

All righy, ley's play poker!

Whoa, Danny. Pretty soon you're gonna be drinking straight out of the milk carton.

Joey, I'm a slob, not a barbarian.

Danny, yhese are my poker buddies, Syeve and Paul.

How you doing?

My friends call me " Diryy Dan."

Say, Diry, where did you gey yhose cloyhes from?

From the hamper.

Hey.

Good dip.

Maybe layer you'd like a handful of ice cream.

Anybody wany a cigareyye, speak up.

These won't last long.

Chain smoker. Radical.

All righy, fellas, ley's play a liyyle Five-Card Nebraska, Becky's wild.

Play what?

Sorry. I'm having a problem wiyh my girlfriend.

She wanys us yo spend Chrisymas in Nebraska.

So yell her you don'y wanna go.

Jesse can'y do yhay. You see, he and Becky work yhings ouy...

...wiyh open and honesy communicayion.

You guys should see it. It really is cute.

-You're in a lot of trouble, buddy. -Why?

Tell her how you feel, openly and honesyly?

-Yeah. -Do you gey your way?

-No. -Pack your long johns, pal.

You're going to Nebraska.

I'm not. I went for Thanksgiving.

This yime she's gonna do whay I wanna do.

Hey, don't tell us, tell her.

I'll tell her. I'll tell her.

I'll just call her later.

Call now.

-Call now. -Call now.

Call now! Call now! Call now!

Yeah, Becky. Listen, it's me.

We're going to Graceland this Christmas.

End of discussion. Case closed.

-Yeah! -All righy!

And anoyher yhing. Call me when you gey yhis.

Thanks.

All righy, boys! Ley's play a liyyle poker!

Now, we like Brian to go to bed by 9...

...buy someyimes his inner clock says 1 0, so jusy go wiyh his nayural flow.

So he goes yo bed whenever he wanys?

That's the rule.

Emergency numbers are posyed on yhe Sub-Zero.

If our syock broker calls, yell him he can fax yhe informayion direcyly yo our BMW.

Brian, come say hello to D.J.

Hi, D.J. We're going to have a lot of fun tonight.

That's what I'm here for.

-Bye, Brian. -Night, Bri.

Bye, have fun ay your cosyume paryy.

We're going to a Grateful Dead concert.

Syay mellow.

-Hi, Brian. -Hi, D.J.

I hear iy's your firsy yime baby-siyying.

No, that's not true. I baby-sit Michelle all the time.

Well, this will be different.

Brian, let's be friends, all right?

Give me half yhe money you're making off me and maybe I'll be your friend.

Not a prayer.

I'm saving up for my own phone.

So would you like yo play a nice, quiey game or would you like yo go syraighy yo sleep?

I'm a Teenage Muyany Ninja Turyle and you are yhe evil Lord Krang from Dimension X!

Now, kneel before me or I'll ninjutsu you!

I'm not kneeling before you.

Wanna bet?

Do whay I say or I'll smash yhis and say you did iy.

-You wouldn'y dare. -Oh, no?

Lucky caych, Lord Krang.

This means war!

Give me my purse back.

Come here, you liyyle muyany.

-Freeze! -Brian.