Baskets

Code blue CCUD!

- I need a crash cart! - Mom?

Page Dr. Barnes for me. Okay, call in the code.

Chip: Mom!

Okay, Jeepers.

I mean, it's takin' forever in there. Mama's probably dead.

And the doctors are probably gettin' their story straight

to avoid a malpractice lawsuit.

Dale, it's only been 45 minutes.

The doctor said it could take a few hours.

Lord, please just...

Get us through this so I can get on with my life.

Well, I think you're both being really brave.

I'm gonna go take a walk,

go clear my head, get out of here.

Who walks in California?

I love Chip, but he can be a dingleberry, can't he?

I think he has a lot of good qualities.

Well, he's got a nice head of hair.

So do I.

He's got nice eyes. And so do I.

He's got a nice tush.

So do I.

You know we're twins.

- Yeah. - Identical.

I did know that.

Yeah, we share DNA. That's about it.

It's stressful, isn't it, all this.

This is the first time you and I have been alone together.

I could use a drink.

- Hello? - Penelope, hi, it's Chip.

Chips. What do you want?

I'm calling to let you know that, uh,

Mom's not gonna meddle you know, business anymore. So...

What do you mean? You killed her?

No! I mean kill her? No, I haven't.

So, I was wondering, you know

should I come to... to France,

do you want to come back to Bakersfield?

You know, let's get this goin' again.

I think we should get back together.

Do... you should listen to your mother.

I'm... I'm no good for people.

I'm a messed up person, you know?

I... I was a fantasy for you.

And-and you were a fantasy for me,

and an escape plan.

You understand?

It's... it's not real.

Chips?

Are you crying?

Yes.

Chips.

Don't be sad, okay?

You're not that kind of "cloon."

I like your selection of grooves, Martha.

Thanks, Dale.

Mm, mm, I haven't heard this one in a long time.

Oh, yeah.

- - Dale, you're really different from Chip.

I'm a live wire, ain't I?

You are, kind of.

Mm, mm. Oh, gosh, I love a mimosa.

Here, have a sip of that.

Okay.

Let me take these.

You look so much better with your glasses off.

Um, Dale are you, um, putting out a sex vibe?

Maybe a little bit.

- Sure. - Really?

I thought you were married.

Oh, Nicole.

She's a pain in my butt.

She doesn't understand me.

She doesn't like me.

- Really? - Yes.

You know I sleep in the car?

In the driveway.

I didn't know you slept in the car.

It's true.

- Well... - I just want to take my mind off

all this family business, you know.

Mm-hm.

And I think I know what will take my mind off of it.

Dale, um, what...

- Martha, please. - Dale, what...

Let me just get inside your car, please.

No Dale, stop! Stop!

Look, if we are gonna do this, let's do this right.

Okay, let's take it slow

- Martha: Yeah, that's it, Dale. - Dale: Yep.

- Martha: Right there. - Dale: Yep!

- Martha: Don't stop. - Dale: Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Ahh!

Oh.

Ah, I'm so dry.

All: Surprise!

Hi.

Oh, surprise.

Oh.

Thanks for the warning.

Go say hi to her.

- Hi, Grandma. - Oh, here you go, dear.

Don't break those.

Speech! Speech!

Uh, well, comas are no fun.

Cut. Hold on one second. We gotta take that again.

So sorry.

Okay, and action.

Uh, comas are no fun.

And when you wake up, you want to get a bucket list,

even though I don't like the word bucket.

- - So I want to do some things.

I'm gonna look through a telescope.

I'm gonna go down to Pixar and watch 'em make one of those movies.

And I'm gonna have some shark fin soup

before all the sharks are gone.

And, more importantly,

I want us to take a brand new family photo.

Well, I could do that right now.

I got a camera right in front of my face, mama.

Dale, we'll get it done professionally, okay?

Come on in. Come in, please, I'm starving.

Oh, hi, Mother.

- - Oh!

- Dale? - Hey, Martha.

Turn around, that's really nice!

Put those idiots down!

Hey Dale!

Everything is a fog, even today, I was very foggy.

This morning, couldn't figure out the word for doughnuts.

And you know I love doughnuts.

That should be right at the front of my brain.

- Cake. - Oh.

And it's sugar free.

Oh. Looks like cork.

I think it's nuts.

Yeah. Oh.

- -

Oh, is that my, uh...

It's her diabetes alarm goin' off.

- Yes. - Oh, is it in your purse?

Can you get the purse, please?

I have to prick my finger.

Here, Grandma.

Oh, girls, you're a lifesaver.

Chip, help me with this.

Is she having a stroke?

No, she's not having a stroke.

- Christine: You should have a stroke. - Thank you very much.

- Is this it? - Grandma.

- Oh, here it is. - W... watch that.

You might get a diabete.

Now, how does it work?

Martha, can you look at Google

what we're supposed to do with this pricker thing?

Hey, guys, I'm gonna have to close Skype for a minute

so that I can Google something for your mom.

Can you repeat that again?

Is there a...

is there a note from a doctor or anything,

or instructions? Is there instructions?

I know, I'm gonna get up and get... ohh!

Ohh!

- Hey, Mom. - Dale: What's goin' on here?

- Mom, you want some, uh, mango drink? -

- What's goin' on here? - Yes.

What's the matter with you?

I went up... I got up, I'm lightheaded.

We are not going back to the hospital.

I got it. I got it, got it.

Just a little bit of... Here, Mom.

Oh, thank you.

- Mm. - Big sips.

- More. More, more, more. - Take big, big sips.

- Good, good, good. - Good. Okay.

- - Here. Is that better?

- Prick my finger, dear. - I don't...

Nicole: I don't know if she knows how to do that.

I'm sorry I got diabetes, everyone.

None of you know what you're doing.

- Oww! - Oh, god.

- Sarah, what did you do? - Ohh!

God almighty, Sarah!

- Grandma. - I'm not sure I can go through that daily.

- Ohh! - Mom?

- Are you okay? - Oh, I'm sorry for everything, you guys.

But I'm a diabetic.

Just stick with me on this until I get the hang of it.

Roy green, home care professional. Mm-hmm. Okay.

I was raised by my grandmother,

so I've been working with the elderly my whole life.

Oh, my goodness. Got your CNA from Baskets career college.

Yes, sir.

Do I look familiar to you?

Mumum...

No only am I the bean, I'm a student.

"And I'm also the janitor." You're the guy

- from the commercial, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I love that part, man. - Yeah.