Rewind

- Hello, I'm Sasha Neulinger, the host of "Shit Diaries,"

and today our lovely guest will be...

Excuse me, what are you doing?

What are you doing, Bekah?

I don't wanna curse to my parents.

I don't wanna be mean to my parents.

And I don't wanna hate my parents.

You know how you have a nightmare

and you wish you could go back

and change what happened in the nightmare?

- Look at me. - I'm sorry

I did something bad, okay?

In the moment, when the footage actually was being filmed,

I hated life.

I know vaguely how I got to this place,

but there are pieces that are missing.

It's a puzzle made from my life

and I feel like I have to put that puzzle back together

if I'm ever going to really move on.

The real Sasha,

the four-year-old Sasha, is coming back.

Late in my pregnancy

I started having a medical problem

so I found myself a month earlier than expected

in the hospital being monitored

and we came to this moment where there was no choice,

but to have the child.

I've called my husband and asked him to come

because we're gonna have the baby

and he's not there, and my parents come down,

my sister comes in.

I've got family around me.

There are people there, but still no Henry.

Everybody's wondering, is Henry okay?

Hours and hours and hours and hours are passing

and finally Henry showed up, and turns out

Henry had gone to buy a video camera.

We're rolling.

- Hi, hello, you're making a face,

what's the matter?

The camera immediately became a wall

between Henry and the family.

- Does he look like his mom?

- It was something that became intrusive to me

because it was constant and it felt to me

like I lost my husband.

My husband disappeared into this lens.

- Jacqui, are you walking away?

What's the matter, honey? Why don't you come here?

I would like to see you. - She's over there.

- You know I'm not in this video.

- She's not in this video.

Henry, turn it around.

- Is it? - Oh.

He is laying here now.

- There you go. - Very good.

- Well this is... - Jacqui, what's the matter?

- Nothing, this is your time.

- Grandpa, what does it mean for you

to have a great-grandchild?

- Heaven. - Happy?

- That's the only way I can express, heaven.

- That's right, that's right.

- What did you feel the first time you ever saw him,

how did you feel?

I nearly fainted.

Look at that.

It's wonderful.

- This is the world's most documented family.

- Coming from both sides.

- Hello, hello.

Hello?

Then bring it.

Oh I'm sorry.

Well yes and no.

Here he is.

- Daddy, it's all finished now, of the tape.

Now, take the tape out.

- You want no me to take your picture anymore?

- No. - Why?

I just don't want you to.

- What do you want me to do?

- Why do you have all of this footage?

- Yeah, you know what, it's just stuff I've accumulated

over the years and I got into it.

And I don't know some of the people that are in these films

because some of them aren't marked, but to me I felt like

these were people's lives.

Somebody took the time to record

what they were in their lives.

Their happy moments.

That's what home movies were.

It wasn't, you didn't film things that were bad.

You took out the movie camera

'cause there was a celebration,

because there was a trip, because there was a party

and that, every time I videotaped you guys

it was all that, except in the background

stuff was going on and now when I look at them, I see that.

- Right here, you want to come up and get it?

Commercial, a little x-rated,

let's, mixed company, let's go.

Henry and Larry,

they played off each other really well,

but it was almost like a performance piece.

- We've always been hooked as brothers.

- Larry was Sasha's godfather.

That was Henry's choice.

It was his brother.

I don't think that Howard was pleased about it.

- My brother Howard was the first born.

My brother Larry was born five years later

and then I was born 1955.

There was no question in my mind

that my brother Howard was my mother's favorite.

He was this budding opera star.

I would go to see him in operas and we would all go

and Howard would get written up in the newspaper

and his picture taken.

Wow, that voice and his demeanor

and his like, strength of character on stage.

He was a dramatic and he was very strong

and he had this deep baritone voice.

He was like somebody to be reckoned with.

- Henry's the first Jewish man I ever dated.

My parents had always said

you're gonna marry a Jewish man.

He was living in Maine.

He was creating programming for PBS up there.

I was living in Philadelphia.

I was a graphic designer.

- I loved her creativity,

her intellectual capacity.

We could have these really interesting discussions

about anything.

- We moved into it really rather fast.

Let's hear it for the chef.

Jacqui was born on Thursday, July 20th, 1961,

and in the headlines, NASA put man in space,

commander Alan Shepard Junior makes suborbital flight.

- What was the time like for you then?

Was it a happy time?

- There was just so much happening.

We built this organic garden in the back

and we were growing our own food

and I mean it was really nice.

It felt like it was just this amazing, big playground

where everybody could be happy.

We were renovating that house.

We were starting a business successfully.

The fabric of life,

there was a lot that was beautiful.

It was early.

- Before Sasha was born, we wanted to find a place

where there were good schools

and some greenery around our house, some open space.

- In the 1800s they had built a railroad

and the railroad would go out

to what were the Philadelphia suburbs.

- People wouldn't go near this house that we saw

because it was kind of overgrown

and you looked in the window, it hadn't been painted

or anything done in 30 years.

And Jacqui and I looked at it and we saw through that.

We saw what the potential was.

Have you heard

about [people chattering drowns out man].

Yeah.

- Suddenly we found ourselves

kind of like the meeting house,

the meeting place for the family.

- We had this beautiful home,

and this yard, and this porch.

It was bliss.

It was like, and everything was like a fairy tale.

How are you?

Can you tell us who we have there?

Who is that?

Rebekah.

- Rebekah, and who is Rebekah?

Rebekah.

And who is she?

Rebekah Anne.

Is it your sister?

Bekah was born shortly after

we moved into the house in Rosemont

and Sasha was really delighted.

He was so joyful to have a little sister.

He couldn't wait to come home from play dates or day care

and run to find her and run to be with her.

It's all gone.

Sasha was an extraordinary child.

He was very interactive, he was very present.

Yeah.

We love you.