Among Ravens

I read in the "Little Big Book of Birds"

that ravens were once the most colorful birds.

But they were vain and mean...

... and never recognized their beauty.

They were too busy being unkind to each other...

... so they were stripped of all their colors...

... and turned black.

They are considered so evil that their favorite food...

... is said to be the flesh of a dead man.

But ravens really like to be together, like family.

Let me introduce you to my ravens.

What's up, man?

Look, it'll just be a couple of days.

They're good people.

You got nothing to worry about, all right?

C'mon, Mom, let's go.

You know what? You go ahead.

I just want a minute alone, okay?

Fine, grump.

Hello, ladies.

Hi.

...Dad. Can we go swimming?

We'll go in a little bit. - Why?

'Cause I want to talk to your Mom.

Promise?

I promise.

Okay. See you at the dock.

How was the flight?

Not bad, a little bumpy.

Yeah?

Glad you're here.

Me too.

Wendy, hey. Oh my God.

Come here, group hug, group hug.

Here you go.

Yeah? Nice.

Oh my God, this is Saturn.

She's my life partner for now.

We had to put the finishing touches...

...on the art car for Burning Man,

so we just worked all night,

hopped in the vangina and, boom, here we are.

All right, well, if you need anything, just ask.

Yeah, I will.

You're a Virgo, aren't you?

Triple.

That is so sexy.

The truth is always beautiful.

Mm-hm. Thanks, all right.

There they are. Good times.

Come here.

You blinked. No, I didn't.

You did.

Now go get your victorious bio-Dad a drink.

Pink fever dry martini...

... standing up with a lemon twist...

...two olives?

Atta boy.

Sounds good.

Why don't you get your provider-Dad...

... one of those as well?

Ohh, come here.

Show Emma where you keep the Chardonnay, okay?

Let's grab a round of small ball this weekend, yeah?

What's a small ball?

Golf, darling. It's very, very dull.

Saul. Ellis.

Saul.

Ellis.

Here's your room.

Oh, this is very nice.

We've never stayed on this floor before.

Oh, really?

I didn't realize that.

Yeah, we stay in the room by the kitchen,

the maid's quarters.

What? I'm not saying anything underneath what I'm saying.

I'm simply stating a fact.

Well, Joey's really excited to see you.

All she can talk about is you.

She's a smart kid.

Try and spend some time with her.

It'll mean so much.

You know Jay's coming.

He's supposed to be here for dinner...

... but he's bringing a guest.

I guess he needed a ride.

You know Jay.

At least he has a new girlfriend.

He seems rather happy.

The drink always goes on the right side.

This is the incorrect side...

... or the left side.

Put it on the right side.

I think I'm going to make a toast.

Ellis and I want to thank you so much...

...for coming to our home and celebrating with us.

We really appreciate you making the commitment...

... every summer to come to our annual 4th of July party.

Tradition is important and you mean the world to us.

So cheers, to us and to years to come.

Years to come. Years to come.

Cheers.

So how's work, Big Guy?

It's fantastic.

When everyone in Hollywood is bitching about the recession,

I haven't felt a goddamned thing.

My new book hasn't even come out yet...

... and I've already sold the movie rights.

Wow.

Yes, not caving to commercialism is a real feat...

...for you, isn't it, darling?

And you don't seem to be bothered...

... by the lifestyle its afforded you.

Honey, can you get some more wine?

Yeah, sure.

Joey, could you bring us a bottle...

... of the '63 Chateau Lafleur, please?

We're out.

We have the 2009 Twin Oaks.

That's fine. Why don't you bring us two of those?

We have one.

I was told I'd get everything I desire,

and you guys are kind of dropping the ball on this one.

Desire is everything.

When it fades, life ends.

That's why I don't have sex.

Not like you guys do.

I fuck only to elevate to a higher spiritual plane.

The mantra of Tantra.

Orgasm is a waste of energy.

Hah.

Anyway, Hal, let's hear what have you been up to...

... in your crazy world?

Well, got certified as a life coach.

Certified.

What exactly is that, a life coach?

Life is a game, Emma.

You weren't born a starter.

None of us were born a starter.

I mean, take Wendy here, for example,

I mean, humble beginnings, to say the least.

There was a time at Berkeley when she wouldn't be caught dead...

... hanging out with you people.

But now, she's on the varsity squad.

That's my job.

I get you guys off the bench.

What's keeping you from taking it to the next level?

What are you afraid of?

What truth are you hiding from?

When the student is ready, the master will appear.

Uncle Jay.

Jay.

Ellis. Good to see you, my dude.

It's good to see you, my dude.

Everybody, this is my buddy, Chad.

Hi, Chad.

Hi, Chad.

Hello, Chad.

Why don't you come take a seat.

It's okay?

It's okay. - Hi, Jay bird.

Hey sister. - Glad you made it.

So I'm headed into the back country tomorrow.

I met this cute hippy chick.

We're gonna let our animal instincts run wild.

Chad's gonna let me use his truck off road.

Is it cool if he stays here for a few days?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

The more the merrier.

Cool. Chad makes films.

What kind of films?

Nature films.

What are they about?

Nature.

Well, you know what Thoreau said about nature.

It has no morality,

only what mankind imposes upon it.

You're Saul King?

Yes.

I've read four books in my life...

... and three of them were yours.

What was the other one?

'The Little Big Book of Birds.'

I memorized it.

It's about birds.

'A Covey of Coots' was funny...

... but I thought it was gonna be about birds.

It's a metaphor.

I especially liked 'A Cast of Hawks'

but it wasn't about birds either.

It was strange, you know,

you really could have said something interesting.

Where do you get the ideas for your books?

I think of them.

Can I interview you?

About your books.

Maybe later.

What time?