Carol's Second Act

Would you rather have two noses or a third arm on your back?

- Oh, God. - Do both noses work?

Yeah. Identical noses.

Full-size arm or baby arm?

What use would a baby arm on your back be?

You're doctors.

Hey, Carol, would you rather listen to Lexie and Caleb play

"would you rather" or waterslide into a wood chipper?

Oh, wood chipper.

Guys, I have great news.

Eddie is number two on the wait list for his new liver.

Oh, that's great. I love Eddie.

The man stole my heart.

He probably should've stolen my liver.

So I have this great thing planned

for when I get to tell Eddie the good news.

I brought a homemade banner, a homemade card

and I baked a liver-shaped cake.

But the best gift of all

is that Eddie has a meeting with his transplant surgeon.

He's taking over as primary.

- It's Dr. Lewis, right? - Yeah.

He is the best transplant surgeon on the West Coast.

- That man's a legend. - Ugh.

If you're so in love with surgeons,

go sit with the surgery interns.

He'd never fit in.

That's the cool kids table.

Yo, I'm cool. I just don't feel like talking to them.

Totally could, though. I just don't feel like it.

Guys, come on. It's not nice to stereotype people.

No, but it does save a lot of time.

Plus, it's not all negative stereotyping.

The OB-GYN crew is badass.

They look like they're smoking,

but they're not smoking.

I guess I do have my own stereotypes.

The morgue interns kind of creep me out.

I mean, I get it. You're around dead bodies all day.

But that doesn't mean you can't wear a pop of color.

The nurses are the ones to watch out for.

They're powerful and they know it.

Okay, so,

if we're not jocks or goths or badasses, what are we?

Nerds.

You're nerds.

I'm nervous about meeting my surgeon.

Do I look all right?

Should I look sicker?

Don't be nervous. Dr. Lewis has an excellent reputation.

As long as he doesn't stick a kidney in my liver hole,

- I'll be good. - Okay.

Dr. Lewis, it's really exciting meeting you.

I'm Dr. Kenney,

and this, of course, is the man of the hour, Eddie Ryan.

So, welcome to Team Eddie.

Eddie likes long walks on the beach

and having a functioning liver,

So you guys are gonna get along great.

He has a mild leukocytosis. Monitor that.

Yes, I know. Actually, I was gonna tell you all about it

just as soon as you made eye contact.

Mr. Ryan, you just got bumped up

to number one on the transplant list.

The next available liver will be yours.

Oh.

Th-That's amazing.

- Yeah. - Carol, isn't that amazing?

This is the news we've been waiting for.

It's amazing news.

The kind of news one might make

a big deal out of telling someone.

One second, Eddie.

Kind of thought there'd be a cake.

Dr. Lewis?

Yes?

Um, I just wanted to make sure

that you were finished with the patient.

I thought I indicated that when I left the room.

Okay, but...

- What is it, Doctor? - Uh, it's just,

I would've appreciated a heads-up about Eddie

getting to the top of the transplant list.

I have a liver cake for him.

I generally don't withhold vital medical information

- until a cake can be wheeled in. - Oh...

I-I don't think you understand.

The cake is delivering the information.

Okay. As I walk away this time,

I hope you understand that our interaction is over.

- Can you believe that guy? - Yeah.

Now, if I were an uneaten slice of liver cake, where might I be?

Doctors' lounge.

Thank you.

Guys.

Huge news. I ran here as fast as I could to tell you.

Oh, you won't believe this. It's amazing.

You finally got a haircut that doesn't upset you?

No.

That can't be it.

Get ready to have your ears blasted.

Dr. Jacobs has a tattoo.

- A tattoo? - Dr. Jacobs?

That's not even the best part.

Her very secret tattoo is a duck.

- A duck? - A duck.

Like, a cartoon duck?

Like, a quack, quack duck.

- A mallard duck? - Like, a straight-up mallard duck!

Whoa. That is weird.

A-And I don't say that with judgment.

I say that as a person who is objectively

considered quite weird.

Why would Dr. Jacobs get a tattoo of a duck?

I have no idea.

A roaring lion on your chest, that I get.

A duck is just bizarre.

This is huge news.

We know almost nothing about Dr. Jacobs.

Yeah, she's an enigma. We've worked with her

for months and all we know about her

is that she lives in the United States.

What could the duck possibly mean?

Oh, I'm gonna make it my life's mission to find out.

This is too good.

What's too good?

Three-cheese pizza.

You know, two-cheese is fine, then they throw in that third

and it's just... too good.

Rounds. Let's move.

Eddie, I'm a little concerned.

You're still running a low-grade fever,

and your white cell count is a little higher

than I'm comfortable with.

Oh, no. Do you think I have to go to the hospital?

Dr. Kenney, why'd you page me?

I'm treating Eddie for a UTI...

Well, this could jeopardize his recipient status.

- Yes, I know. That's why I... - Why am I only hearing about this now?

Well, so far, it's been resistant

to the usual antibiotics.

That's why I paged you.

Then why don't we look for some antibiotics

that it won't be resistant to?

Or hadn't that occurred to you?

Actually, it had, and I've already begun researching...

This is why I don't want an intern in charge of my patient.

I'm sorry, "your patient"?

You're an intern?

Patient presents with abdominal pain,

dizziness and shortness of breath.

I'm such a klutz. I was trimming my fig tree,

and I fell off my ladder.

Bonked my head on a tree branch.

Oh, no. I bet you wish you would've ducked.

We should run a concussion protocol.

Yeah, my wife's always telling me to slow down,

but I didn't want to miss the game.

Oh, there was a game on? Was it hockey?

I just love the Anaheim Ducks.

I don't see how that's relevant.

Uh, no, I was trying to get to my son Owen's basketball game.

Oh. When I was a kid, I loved playing Duck, Duck, Goose.

Did any of you enjoy playing Duck, Duck, Goose?

Why do they call it

Duck, Duck, Goose? Ducks can chase each other.

They should call it Duck, Duck, Duck.

Maybe I did hit my head too hard.

I'm suddenly hearing the word "duck" a lot.

We'll order a CT to make sure

nothing else is going on, Mr. Turner.

But I'm sure you'll be home in no time.

Let's move.

What is the matter with you people?

You're all acting very weird.

Even more than usual.

I'm fine. One might even say I'm ducky.

Just order the CT.

I thought we were pretty subtle.

Hey, good news, Dr. Frost.

I think I've found the perfect treatment

for Eddie's infection: cefiderocol.

Ooh. That's cutting-edge medicine, Dr. Kenney.

Thank you. I'm glad you think so.

I'll write the order.

Oh, you'll need to get Dr. Lewis's approval first.

I once didn't consult with him about a procedure,

and he put it in his Christmas card.

Christmas cards aren't for pettiness.

They're for lying about your children's accomplishments.

- Exactly. - Yeah.

Well, Dennis, we have a plan.

I'll get the approval of Dr. Lewis, and show him

that I am more than just an intern.

And if he happens to acknowledge that I'm a pretty good doctor,

- well, I won't be mad at that. - Mm.

Well, he's scheduled to cut out someone's liver in ten minutes.

Can you wait seven hours to get your mild apology?

No, I can't.

Dr. Lewis?