Friends

All right, let's play one more time, okay?

And remember, if I win, you do not move to Paris.

Okay. I can't believe I'm risking this again, but you're on.

All right, Joe, you remember the rules. Heads, I win. Tails, you lose.

Just flip.

- Tails! - Damn it!

So we thought we'd throw you a little going-away party around 7.

Oh, that sounds good.

Hey, Rach, you're leaving tomorrow. Shouldn't you be packing?

- It's all done. - Oh, yeah, right.

And after I took a shower this morning, I just threw my towel on the floor.

- Oh, God, it hurts to even joke about it. - I know.

Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom.

This is Emma's Paris stuff. These are the boxes that I'm having shipped...

...and that's the sandwich I made for the plane.

So that you could use a little more mustard

- Okay, so you've done some good work. - Yeah.

What about your carryons?

Oh, well, everything that I need is in here...

...and my travel documents are on the counter...

...organized in the order that I will be needing them.

Oh, my God. I have nothing left to teach you.

- Where's your passport? - It should be next to my plane ticket.

- Well, it's not. - What? Well, maybe I put it in here?

Oh, it's not in there!

Oh, no, I must have packed it in one of these boxes!

- Here, let me help you. - Shoot.

I can't believe I did this.

At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport?

The one with Rachel's going away party

Oh, wow, can you believe you're only three weeks away?

I know.

- You don't mind me touching your belly? - I don't mind you touching my belly...

...but your hand's kind of blocking the part where the baby's gonna come out.

- Hey! - Hey.

Hi, Erica. Welcome back to town. Wow, look how big you've gotten.

That's because I'm pregnant.

- Right. No, I understand. - Oh, okay.

I'm just always afraid that people think I'm just fat with big breasts.

No, no, I knew.

- Okay, well, stop staring at them. - She brought them up.

I didn't realize you were coming back so soon.

In a couple weeks I won't be able to travel.

And I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel.

- Why isn't she staying with you guys? - Because we're moving in a couple days...

..and it does not make sense

Plus, hotels are fun! My room has this little fridge full of free snacks.

Erica, those things aren't free.

They have one of the highest markups of any consumer product--

Ross, she's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.

I'll be right back.

Oh, man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.

I know. I know.

You know, you could take it if you want. The lease is still in Nana's name.

No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad.

Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?

Yeah, it takes two incomes.

Is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie.

Oh, no, he doesn't have time for that.

You can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.

Packing. Sexy cheerleader comedy.

Helpful brother. Creepy loner at teen movie.

"Creepy..."

- What are you guys doing? - Try it. I can't feel a thing.

Are you kidding?

- This is packing? - We're taking a break.

From?

Jumping on the bed.

All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours, and there's a lot to do.

Ross, you've got Geller blood. You're in charge of these yahoos.

- You got it. - All right.

All right, she's right. We gotta get serious.

Let's put Styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!

No, guys, she's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet.

Joey, you pack them, and Ross, you repack whatever Joey packs.

You guys hear a ringing?

- What the hell is this? - Hey, handcuffs. And fur-lined. Nice.

I didn't know you guys had it in you.

Chandler, you don't have a sister, so you can't understand...

...how much this bums me out.

I didn't know Monica had these.

Maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard.

Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky.

I once did a naked dance for her with scarves.

Bumming hard, guys. Bumming hard.

- Hey. - Hey. Where's Mike?

Oh, he has a gig.

It's kind of like being married to a rock star, you know?

My husband has a gig.

Yeah? Where is it?

Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party.

Rock on!

Wow, this is quite a spread. What is all this stuff?

I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food...

...that I don't want to move to the new house with me.

So enjoy. Smoked oyster casserole with a breakfast-cereal crust.

Kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.

I think I speak for everyone when I say ......

- Hey. - Hey.

- Where's Rach? - She's putting Emma down.

She'll be over in a second. It just hit her that she's leaving.

She's kind of emotional, so no one say anything to set her off, okay?

- Hey, Rach. - Hey.

There she is.

Hi, you guys.

What did I just say?

Oh, no, no, no, it's okay. It's okay. I'm gonna be fine.

- Come here, I'll make you a drink. - Okay.

Oh, man, I can't believe she's actually leaving.

How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel?

I know, she's been such a big part of my life.

It feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled.

I mean...

Forget it, I miss Melrose Place.

- I had a chance to stop her too. - Yeah?

Who loses 57 coin tosses in a row? You know?

Heads, she wins. Tails, I lose.

Wait a minute.

- Yes, Joe? - I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning.

So you doing okay?

Well, I've been better. You guys are gonna come visit, right?

Yes! You know, in six months, the statute of limitations runs out...

...and I can travel internationally again.

- I'm gonna miss you so much. - I know.

You know what? I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say...

...to each of you. I was gonna save it till the end of the night, but come here.

Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?

If I had to guess, I'd say...

...Rachel's putting on the bubble wrap, and Phoebe's doing the punching.

Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.

Okay, well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you presents...

...but I do have something for you.

- What is it? - Well, it's a cotton swab...

...with a bit of my saliva on it...

...so that if they perfect the cloning process while you're over there...

...you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs.

I'm gonna throw this away...

...but thank you so much for the gesture.

Chandler?

I was just in our bedroom, and I found these on my pillow.

Oh, yes, I decided to leave those out for you in case Richard stops by...

...and you want to engage in a little light bondage and mustache play.

What? These aren't mine.

Oh, yeah, right!

Good luck getting another scarf dance from me.

That would be a terrible punishment.

But I'm serious, I've never seen these before.

Really? Then what are they doing in our guest room?

Rachel used to live in that room.

Rachel. With handcuffs.

Interesting.

Joey's bare ass.

Well played.

- I love you, Phoebe. - I love you too.

Please...

Please don't--

Don't turn into, you know, a French bitch.

I won't.

All right. Well, if I'm gonna do this, I better keep going.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Monica? - Yeah?

- Will you come with me for a minute? - Sure.

- Are you wearing waterproof mascara? - No.

Oh, you're so screwed.

Hey.

What was that all about?

She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.

Are you kidding? Oh, my God.

Yeah, I know. It's gonna be even worse for you. God.

Well, just get ready to do some serious crying.

Man, I'm not gonna be able to handle this.

Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year.

And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.