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A small fading remnant of a star.

- A white dwarf. - That's right!

I used a memory technique.

Dwarves hate being called midgets,

and midgets are small.

And...

What does a star turn into after it collapses?

A movie of the week.

- Black hole. - Right!

Troy! You could be an astronomer.

As far as I'm concerned,

there's only one black hole worth studying.

It's called Sagittarius A,

it's located in the center of our galaxy,

and it has the density of 40 Suns.

- Just like my Weiner. - Ha ha.

You said Weiner. That's funny.

Pierce and Troy didn't get along at first,

but now they're bonding through mutual adolescence.

- Shut up, boo-boo head. - Will you shut up, fart head?

Hi, everybody.

Well, look at this group having some kind of meeting

and being so diverse.

There is just... boy!

There is just one of every kind of you, isn't there?

Well, we are missing a pipsqueak,

but we don't want one, so beat it.

Um, Pierce, that's the dean.

- Are you kidding? - Mm-mm.

Sorry. Just my luck.

It's all right. Don't let me interrupt.

Sometimes I just roll around campus like a little football.

I can't believe this.

Here I am in a random conversation about football,

and I'm talking to Troy Barnes,

star quarterback from Riverside High... whoa.

Troy, did you know that Greendale has a football team?

Did you know they had a football?

Ha. That's very funny.

Troy, I was so sorry to hear about your injury.

But now that you have recovered,

we would love for you to play for the "Human Beings".

The team's name is the "Human Beings"?

Yeah. My idea.

It was the "Greendale Grizzlies",

but I thought that, um...

Well, a lot of these students

have been called animals their whole lives.

Unfortunately, I don't know what to do about the mascot.

Oh, I can help you with that, your honor.

I have a wealth of experience

in image management, icon development,

and Y2K Preparedness.

Troy, all of your friends are lining up

to turn Greendale around.

How about you?

Troy isn't interested in football anymore.

Getting injured in that "keg stand"

was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Whoa! Yoko Ono much?

Bros before Hoes, Troy.

Listen, man.

No offense, but I was the best,

and I finished on top.

I wouldn't play for this school with a 10-foot pole.

Dean, I'm sure Troy will sign up for football

if and when some accident

damages the part of his brain that feels pride.

Until then, would you excuse us?

All right, well, uh... If you change your mind,

the field is always open.

Oh, figuratively speaking.

You know, Wednesdays and Sundays

it's used as parking overflow for the megachurch.

Okay.

Now let's meet the minimum requirements

for a language credit, shall we?

Yes, but I need to go to the bathroom first.

- Uh, Britta? - Oh, no, I don't have to go.

I'll go with you.

What? She's offended?

Girls go in groups.

Did you learn nothing from stand-up comedy in the '90s?

I'm familiar with the concept. I'm just... fine.

If it's important to Shirley, I'll go with her next time.

I'm willing to try some more mainstream feminine stuff.

Well, then you should know that nothing says "I'm a woman"

like doing it with me.

Nothing says, "I'm a pig", like you.

Will they or won't they? Sexual tension.

Abed, it makes the group uncomfortable

when you talk about us

like we're characters in a show you're watching.

Well, that's sort of my gimmick.

But we did lean on that pretty hard last week.

I can lay low for an episode.

You sure you made the right call on the football team, Troy?

It looks like they won something once.

"Most valued customer. Henderson trophy cases."

So we should still study

a little more astronomy later, right?

Maybe over some Milky Ways or some Mars Bars.

Or pancakes!

"I'm jeff. And I'm a student at Greendale."

That's not good.

Wood undergoes rapid oxidation

because it reacts spontaneously to...

Okay, guys, seriously, we've talked about this, okay?

You have got to turn off your cell...

That's mine. My bad.

I'm going to the bathroom.

Hi!

Would you like to come with me?

Well, yes, yes, I would.

Oh, that's nice!

Okay, what's it called?

Antoni... An... hold on.

Does anyone have a pen? Pen?

No one has a pen.

Why would you not bring a pen to class?

Idiot.

No, you're not an idiot.

I had my blinker on about five minutes,

and this no-good, clearly bald

but trying to hide it with a bandana loser

swooped right in. I couldn't believe it.

- Maybe he didn't see you. - He saw me!

Maybe he had his blinker on too.

Maybe. So you... got any family, Britta?

Yeah, whatever.

Think my mom might visit this weekend.

She and I are gonna get makeovers at that Spa...

Makeovers.

They sure have us programmed, right?

I am a female pleasure unit.

I require a new coat of paint.

Just something I thought might be fun.

Here's something I think might be fun.

Let's find out the number of makeup companies

that are owned by women.

I'll save you the trouble. It's zero.

But of course you're saying, "Britta, aren't you a hypocrite?"

"You're plastered with glitter and goo from head to toe, "

"just like the rest of us."

Well, I also pay income tax and pull over for cops,

but that doesn't mean I support...

Thanks for offering to help design the new mascot.

I, uh, have been a little stumped.

That's no problem.

By the way, I took the liberty

of thumbnailing a human being prototype

Which I modeled after da Vinci's Vitruvian Man.

The penis is a little small, I think.

- Oh, I think it's... - Oh. Okay.

It... looks a lot like you.

Um, here's the thing.

If we are the "Human Beings", you know,

and we have a mascot that's just a white guy,

what message are we sending?

Our symbol needs to reflect the diversity of our school

and our species.

So... black?

No. No, because we're not the "Greendale Blacks",

Mr. Hawthorne, or the "Greendale Asians"

or any other creed.

We are the "Greendale Human Beings".

Yeah.

Sorry to disturb you guys...

Who are clearly looking at a naked drawing

of pierce doing jumping jacks.

- Dean, a quick download, please? - Uh, absolutely.

- Excuse me. - Okay. Fill me in later.

Ah.

Whoa.

I'll go with a pencil.

- First of all... - Mm-hmm.

- I'm flattered. - Oh, well.

You're a very photogenic man.

Is that real bed head, or do you put something in there?

Can I? Oh, it's crispy.

I was thinking about the four disembodied heads,

and I thought, where's the heart?

Where's the soul?

Where's the different poster design?

You know, I did think those were less than personable,

which is why I went with the full bodies

in these mailers we have going out.

Mailers? I didn't give permission for this.

Jeffrey, did you not read the release agreement

on the back of your registration form?

I'm starting to see why someone used to be a lawyer.

Ha ha! Up top!

If someone from the outside were to find...

Okay, if someone from the outside were to find out

that I am a student at a community college,

that could have a negative impact on my future career.

Oh. Goodness.

Look what we have stumbled onto...

An opportunity to help each other out.

I suppose I wouldn't need this promotional campaign