Bridge and Tunnel

Do you know who showed up at your son's party last night?

Jill. And then they left together,

and pulled up outside the house at 5:00 in the morning.

Last night was the first time I saw her in months, okay?

We were just hanging out. It's nothing serious.

Remember, you have had the same dream for a long time:

shooting for "National Geographic."

So don't do something stupid, okay?

- Oh. Mikey's back in town.

He'd like to see Stacey.

You know, I'll have to ask if she's interested.

Do not let me fool around with him.

I have a boyfriend now.

I'm trying to be a good girl for once in my life.

What about you, Tammy? You seeing anybody?

Oh, no, I'm too, um... busy with work and school.

So I don't really have time for that.

Last night was a mistake, Jill.

I haven't seen him in six months.

I was long overdue.

And I think that's really sweet, you know,

because he's obviously still in love with her.

Of course he's still in love with her,

and that's the fucking problem.

Why are we starting this thing back up again

if we know that our futures aren't compatible?

I just wanna be with you now.

- That doesn't make any sense. - Why not?

Because I don't wanna hurt you again!

I'm sorry!

No! She's the friggin' drummer.

Will you just tell her that writing lyrics isn't her thing?

- It's your thing. - Are you kidding me?

You've been on the phone all morning.

I need to make a call.

Oh, you need to make a call?

I know.

No, but that's what I'm saying.

Dad, can you tell Genie to get off the phone, please?

Jesus, you sound like you're back in junior high.

Why not just come out here, take a seat,

have a cup of coffee with your old man,

and wait till she gets off?

I need it for five minutes, and then she can have it back.

What is so important that she needs to get off the phone for you?

What do you think? He wants to call Jill.

No, I do not. I need to call Mikey.

Is this true about Jill?

Because I was under the understanding that

that was over again?

No, Dad. He's called her every day this week

and leaves the most pathetic messages,

- and she never calls him back. - Oh, my God.

Please tell me that that is not true, James.

No, it would make you sick to your stomach

to hear your first-born and only son

grovel like that.

You know what?

Forget it.

I don't need the phone.

Actually, Jimbo, hold up a second.

Now that I think about it,

Jill actually did call last night.

I thought maybe I mentioned it to you,

but it is entirely possible that it slipped my mind.

Slipped your mind?

- How does that happen? - Oh, I don't know.

Maybe because I have more important shit to worry about,

like paying the bills,

checking my box scores.

Really?

So... you forgot to tell me,

or you chose not to tell me?

- I'm telling him now, aren't I? - Yeah.

All right, Dad.

Thanks a lot.

- Greatest sister ever. - Mm-hmm.

Great work, kid.

Are you still there?

Oh, my God. He is so pathetic.

I take it there's still no news from law school, huh?

Trust me, if I heard, you'd know.

You know, if you don't get in,

they might just never tell you.

- Did you ever think about that? - I'm gonna get in, okay?

Oh. You know what?

You left the car with almost no gas in the tank

so I'm gonna add another five bucks to what you owe me.

Fine, whatever. Just put it on my tab.

You know, you think I'm kidding,

but I am keeping track of all this shit.

And if and when you ever get a real job,

you're gonna start paying me back.

Okay, first of all, I do have a real job.

I fucking rock.

Oh, how are the benefits on that?

Shut up. And second of all, I told you

that the minute that we get a record deal,

you are gonna get paid back with interest.

Yeah, well, I won't hold my breath.

- Wow. You're such an asshole.

Oh, well, I see you two are getting along great.

All right. I'm off to work.

Mm, wait, Mommy.

Did you tell him yet?

I have not.

Tell me what?

Mommy has got a hot date tonight.

Is that true? You're going on a date?

Yeah. You know, I figured it's time, you know?

Your father's been in and out of a dozen relationships,

so I figured it's my turn.

Mom, his one-night stands do not count as relationships.

It's true.

My point exactly.

I'm entitled. Am I not?

Yeah, I mean, no one said you weren't.

In fact, I've been saying the opposite

for some months now, haven't I?

- Mm-hmm. - It is absolutely time

for you to put yourself back out there.

So who's the lucky guy, huh?

Someone you met in the city?

Yeah, no. On the train.

See?

I told you going back to work would be good for you.

So what's he do?

He's like a doctor, banker, lawyer?

You are not gonna like it, Nick.

Uh, why aren't I gonna like it?

Oh, shit.

Do I know this guy or something?

God, and I can tell from your face that I do.

- Who is it? - I'm gonna give you a hint.

Ready? It's somebody famous.

I don't know anybody famous.

It's Louie Ross.

Oh, shit.

Not Mr. Ross!

- Come on, Mom! That's weird!

I'm friends with his daughter Stacey.

I'm gonna see her tonight. It's... it's... it's wrong.

I told you.

I told you he wasn't gonna approve.

Of course I don't approve!

God, of all of the divorced guys on Long Island,

you happen to choose the one that I've known

since I'm in the first grade?

Okay, it's not your place to approve, okay?

And he's a perfectly nice man, you know?

I mean, it's just dinner.

So don't go having a full-blown conniption just yet.

Well, too late.

The conniption, as you so gracefully put it,

is already in my drawers.

- Wow. - I'm out of here.

Nice. Lovely.

You know, I gotta admit, it feels pretty weird

being back in this room.

I bet.

You have a lot of memories in here.

Get the fuck out of here.

You know, I can't believe you still have this thing.

What are you talking about? What am I gonna do, throw it away? It's amazing.

And it's pretty fucking good if you ask me.

Whoever did that sketch is just one hell of an artist, you know?

I still have that nude that you made of me,

but I can't exactly have that laying around, can I?

You see the way you look right there?

With the sun in your face.

Oof.

Now, that would make a very nice painting.

Won't you come over here and give me a kiss, huh?

When are you gonna come visit me in the city, huh?

So I don't have to keep schlepping out here.

How am I gonna visit you?

Don't you live with this freaking guy?

Mm-hmm.

But he's in the club till 4:00 or 5:00,

so you could still come over.

I don't know.

It's just, I don't like the idea

of meeting you in some other guy's apartment, you know?

Why are you dating this guy anyhow?

- I mean... - Mm-hmm.

You can't like him that much if we're hooking up like this.

Him and I have an understanding, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Just like you and me.

We can both do what we want.

- Does that bother you? - No.

- You sure? - Yes, I'm sure.

Don't tell me you're jealous.

No.

Not at all.

Not even a little bit?

No, I mean, I'm just saying that I'm okay with this.

Whatever we're doing.

Our "arrangement."

- Okay? - Mm-hmm.