Superstore

Attention Cloud 9 shoppers.

We do apologise for the heat in the store today.

The temperature is controlled by corporate,

and we are working on it.

And though I am thankful

for all of you who have taken the time to tell me

that it is hot in here,

the next person who does,

I'ma have to murder.

That is all.

How about you cool it with the attitude?

- Not today, Dina. - What, you think you're

the only person that's uncomfortable?

My pelvic area is like the Gulf Coast right now.

Seriously, I could steam shellfish in these khakis.

- Good God. - If you can't

be professional, stay off the airwaves.

Whoa, keep your hands off Thor's hammer. Come on.

No, it's... no, absolutely not.

- It's mine now. - Oh, yeah?

- How about it? - Boom.

What about that? Round two.

Is that your own personal microphone?

Yeah. I carry this one with me.

Guys. Guys, come on.

I know it's hot in here, but let's breathe.

Let's have some patience for one another.

Yeah, you know, the heat makes us all

act irrationally, you know, I mean...

If your face stays where it is, it's gonna get punched.

- I was just saying... - Punched.

God, the heat really brings out your age, doesn't it?

Dina, I am trying to keep a positive attitude today,

so help me out, okay?

Yeah, sure. Sorry.

So did you eat a lot of French onion soup last night,

or is that just the natural scent your body secretes?

You just have a very unique musk.

It's thick. It's, like, swampy.

- Okay. - It's like a swampy musk.

- I'm walking away. Bye. - It's not bad.

What? No offense.

Yeah, so anyway,

the heat's really blasting away over here,

and since you guys set the temperatures,

I was hoping you could turn it off.

No problem. I can help you with that.

- Thank you. - And my computer says

you're at 66 degrees, so that's perfect.

Well... well, no.

Maybe your computer's not working,

'cause I can assure you it is extremely warm in the store.

Mm-hmm, yeah. In my experience,

computers don't make the mistakes.

People do.

I'm just gonna put a note on here

that says "manager error."

It is not an error.

I know what hot is,

and I am very, very hot.

I'm sure you are. Please hold.

What...

Marcus, what do you know about this pallet?

Are you asking 'cause I'm in charge of the warehouse now?

'Cause you heard I'm in charge of the warehouse now, right?

I did. Yeah.

A promotion with no raise. Well done.

Thank you. It just goes to show

you keep your head down, you do the work,

get your thumb cut off, and agree not to sue,

anything can happen.

Okay. So you can clean this up?

I got a lot on my plate right now,

uh, but sure, yeah, I'll take care of it.

You know what they say:

heavy is the head that wears the pants.

Okay.

It's Shakespeare.

Maybe pick up a book once in a while.

Hey, Glenn, I just wanted to check on the ETA of...

Ooh, it is pleasant as hell in here.

Well, yeah, I had to turn on the AC...

in February!

Can you believe that?

I'm trying to get them to fix it,

but, my God, these people!

So while everybody's out there boiling in the heat,

you just sitting in here in your ivory ice tower?

I'm doing everything I can.

Are you?

'Cause your people are counting on you.

So maybe this isn't about asking for help.

Maybe this is about...

11:35?

- Keep guessing. - It's about...

time I fixed the heat myself?

Okay, I can work with that. Yes, Glenn.

Get out there and fix that heating system or whatever.

Yeah, I can. I... I'm gonna fix it myself.

Yeah. That's what I'm doing.

- Okay. - Doing that right now.

Yeah, go fix it. And take your time!

It's about the journey!

Ooh, max cool.

That's what I'm all about.

Ugh, can you stay on your side?

You're getting your gross guy heat all over me.

Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better? Is this helping?

- No! - You like that?

It's worse! It's grosser!

Oh, my God, you are such a drama queen.

You're disgusting.

I am really sorry.

I just thought leather pants would look cool.

I didn't realize they'd stick to sweaty legs.

It's fine. It's not real leather anyway.

It's made out of recycled soda bottles.

I'm going to this mixer for single IT guys.

Yeah? You gonna meet some women?

No. Just other IT guys.

Well, they're gonna love these pants.

Uh, hey, Amy?

This woman slipped on some yogurt in Grocery, and, uh...

No! No... Marcus was su...

Okay, um, I'll be right back.

Just wait here, ma'am.

Here you are.

I'm in IT.

Ooh! Ahhh!

Oh, shut the door. You're letting the air out.

Are you Glenn?

'Cause this is Glenn's office, but you don't look like Glenn.

Unless Glenn completely changed

everything about the way he looks,

or Glenn's actually always looked like Garrett

but has just been wearing a mask all these years.

I'll get to the point. I know you're not Glenn.

Wow. Well, you figured that one out.

Look, I'm just taking a break from the heat.

Yeah, it is a lot cooler in here.

I mean, a gal could dry her pants out all the way in a place like this.

Marcus, a customer just slipped on the spill.

Yeah, sorry, Ames. We'll get to it.

We're all just pretty hot back here.

Yeah, no, I get it. It's hot everywhere.

But you said you'd clean it up.

Okay. Relax.

There's no need to get emotional.

Emotional? Am I... am I getting emotional?

Kind of?

Okay, you know what? It's not a big deal.

Just needs to get cleaned up. I'll have one of my guys do it.

Much apreesh.

Oh, and hey, Ames, smile.

You'll live longer.

Did you just tell me to smile?

Yeah, you little sourpuss.

Attention, employees.

Do not clean up the yogurt spill in Grocery.

This is a warehouse problem,

and it will be cleaned up when they clean it up.

Go to hell, Marcus.

Excuse me. It's a little hot in here.

We are aware of it!

Okay.

Have a heavenly day.

I cannot believe he told me to smile.

Yeah. That's so out of line.

I completely agree.

Would it help if I just cleaned it up?

'Cause I really, really want to clean it up.

Like, really.

Do not touch this spill.

Okay, leaving it to fester.

You know what? Maybe let's just let this one go, you know?

Because the... the heat.

And also, maybe the heat is causing, like, a number of us

to act in ways that seem a little, I don't know,

uh, overboard.

So what are you saying?

We should let Marcus off the hook because it's hot?

No. No. No. It's just...

remembering that all of us are in the hot store, you know?

Including me, Mateo, you.

Yeah, I know,

and we're staying cool as cucumbers.

- Okay. - Mateo!

What is wrong with people today?

Whoa!

What a view!

Now I get why Brett's always trying to make me come up here

and smoke out with him.

Yeah, well, this shouldn't take long.

Your job is to hand me the tools

as I need them, okay?

Wow, you're so handy.

It's "handsy." Plural.

But yeah, the Sturgises have always been builders.

In fact, my ancestors built the ships

that brought the very first African-Americans