Doctor Who

So what is it? What's wrong?

I don't know. Some kind of signal, drawing the Tardis off course.

Where are we? Earth. Utah, North America.

About half a mile underground. And. . .when are we?

2012.

God, that's so close. I should be 26!

Blimey. Like a great big museum.

An alien museum.

Someone's got a hobby -

they must've spent a fortune on this.

Chunks of meteorite. Moondust.

That's the mileometer from the Roswell spaceship.

That's a bit of Slitheen! That's a Slitheen's arm -

it's been stuffed!

Ah, look at you!

What is it?

An old friend of mine.

Well, enemy.

The stuff of nightmares, reduced to an exhibit.

I'm getting old. Is that where the signal's coming from?

Nah, it's stone dead. The signal's alive.

Something's reaching out.

Calling for help.

If someone's collecting aliens, that makes you Exhibit A.

'Attention all personnel. Bad Wolf 1 descending, Bad Wolf 1 descending.'

On behalf of all of us, I wanna wish you a very happy birthday, sir.

The President conveys his personal best wishes. The President is 10 points down. I want him replaced.

I don't think that's wise, sir. Thank you so much for your opinion. You're fired. Get rid of him.

Wipe his memory and put him in Memphis, Minneapolis - somewhere beginning with M.

So, the next President, what d'you think? Republican or Democrat? Democrat, sir. Why?

They're just so funny, sir?

What is your name? Goddard, sir. Diana Goddard.

I like you, Diana Goddard.

So where's the English kid? Sir, sir!

I bought ten more artefacts, Mr Van Statten. Let me see 'em.

Sir, there's something more urgent. We arrested two intruders 53 floors down. We don't know how they got in.

I'll tell you. . .in-tru-da window!

In-tru-da window, that was funny!

Bring them in. And tell Simmons I want to visit my little pet.

Simmons, you'd better give me good news! Is it talking?

Not exactly talking, no.

Then what's it doing? Screaming.

Is that any good?

And this is the last.

Paid $800, 000 for it. What does it do?

Well, you see the tubes on the side? Must be to channel something, I think maybe fuel.

I really wouldn't hold it like that. Shut it!

Really though, that's wrong.

Is it dangerous? No, it just looks silly.

You just need to be. . .

.delicate.

It's a musical instrument.

And it's a long way from home.

Here, let me.

I did say delicate.

It reacts to the smallest fingerprint.

It needs precision.

Very good. Quite the expert.

As are you.

Who exactly are you?

I'm the Doctor. And who are you? Like you don't know(!)

We're hidden away with the most valuable collection

of extraterrestrial artefacts in the world,

and you just stumbled in by mistake(? )

Pretty much sums me up, yeah. Question is, how did you get in?

53 floors down, with your little cat-burglar accomplice.

Quite a collector yourself - she's rather pretty.

She's gonna smack you if you keep calling her "she". She's English, too!

Hey, Little Lord Fauntleroy, got you a girlfriend. This is Mr Henry van Statten.

And who's he when he's at home? Mr Van Statten owns the internet.

Don't be stupid. No-one owns the internet. Let's just keep the world thinking that, right, kids?

So you're an expert in everything, except the things in your museum.

What you don't understand, you lock up. You claim greater knowledge? I don't claim.

I know how good I am. Yet I captured you right next to the Cage.

What were you doing down there?

You tell me. The Cage contains my one living specimen.

What's that? Like you don't know. Show me. You wanna see it?

Blimey, you can smell the testosterone.

Goddard! Inform the Cage we're heading down.

You, English, look after the girl.

Go and canoodle or spoon or whatever it is you British do.

And you, Doctor with no name.

Come and see my pet!

We've tried everything.

The creature has shielded itself, but there's definite signs of life inside.

Inside? Inside what? Welcome back, sir!

I've had to take the power down - the Metaltron is resting. Metaltron?

Thought of it myself. Good, isn't it?

Although I'd much prefer to find out its real name.

Here, you'd better put these on.

The last guy that touched it. . .

burst into flames.

I won't touch it, then.

Go ahead, Doctor.

Impress me.

Don't open that door until we get a result.

Look, I'm sorry about this, Mr Van Statten might think he's clever,

but never mind him. I've come to help. I'm the Doctor.

Doc. . .tor. . .

Impossible!

THE Doctor?

Exterminate! Exterminate!

Let me out! EXTERMINATE!

Sir, it's going to kill him! It's talking!

You are an enemy of the Daleks.

You must be destroyed!

It's not working.

Fantastic!

Oh, fantastic!

Powerless. Look at you.

The great space dustbin. How does it feel?

Keep back! What for?

What are you gonna do to me?

If you can't kill,

then what are you good for, Dalek?

What's the point of you?

You're nothing.

What the hell are you here for?

I am. . .waiting for orders.

What does that mean? I am a soldier.

I was bred to receive orders.

Well, you're never gonna get any. Not ever.

I demand orders!

They're never gonna come. Your race is dead. You all burnt.

All of you. Ten million ships on fire.

The entire Dalek race wiped out, in one second.

You lie!

I watched it happen. I made it happen.

You destroyed us?

I had no choice.

And what of the Time Lords?

Dead.

They burnt with you.

The end of the last great Time War.

Everyone lost.

And the coward survived.

Oh, and I caught your little signal.

"Help me." Poor little thing.

But there's no-one else coming cos there's no-one else left.

I am alone in the universe.

Yep.

So are you.

We are the same.

We're not the same! I'm not. . .

No, wait.

Maybe we are.

You're right! Yeah, OK! You've got a point.

Cos I know what to do.

I know what should happen.

I know what you deserve.

Exterminate.

Have pity!

Why should I? You never did!

Get him out!

Help me!

I saved your life. Now talk to me. Godammit, talk to me!

You've got to destroy it!

The last in the universe.

And now I know your name.

Da-lek.

Speak to me, Dalek!

I am Henry van Statten - now recognise me!

Make it talk again, Simmons.

Whatever it takes.

Sorry about the mess.

Mr Van Statten sort of lets me do my own thing,

so long as I deliver the goods.

What do you think that is?

A lump of metal? Yeah.

Yeah, but I think. . . Well, I'm almost certain, it's from the hull of a spacecraft.

The thing is, it's all true, everything the United Nations tries to keep quiet.

Spacecraft, aliens, visitors to Earth.

They really exist.

That's amazing. I know it sounds incredible.

But I honestly believe the whole universe is just teeming with life.

I'm gobsmacked, yeah.

And you do what? Sit here and catalogue it? Best job in the world!

Imagine if you could get out there.

Travel amongst the stars and see it for real.

Yeah. I'd give anything. I don't think it's ever gonna happen.

Not in our lifetimes. Oh, you never know.

What about all those people who say they've been inside of spaceships and things, and talked to aliens?

I think they're nutters. Yeah. Me too.

So how d'you end up here?

Van Statten has agents all over, looking for geniuses to recruit. Oh, right, you're a genius.

Sorry, but. . .yeah. I can't help it - I was born clever.

When I was eight, I logged onto the US defence system.

Nearly caused World War Three. What, and that's funny, is it?

You should've been there. Just to see them running about. Fantastic!

You sound like the Doctor.

Are you and him. . . ? No, we're just friends. Good.

Why's that good?

Just is.

So, wouldn't you rather be downstairs?

You've got these bits of metal and stuff,

but Mr Van Statten's got a living creature down there.

Yeah. Well, I did ask, but he keeps it to himself.

Although. . . If you're a genius,

it doesn't take long to patch through on the comms system.

Let's have a look then!