The Other Two

- - Hey, cuties!

I'm about to hit the red carpet with my manager Streeter.

- Say what's up, Streeter. - What's up!

Shout out to the Lord Jesus Christ

- and Sony Pictures. - And Sony Pictures.

For letting me and my fam come to the "When in Gnome" premiere.

Swipe up for tics.

God, why are we even going to this?

Um, because it's a hot, cool movie premiere.

Why would we not go?

I just thought my first premiere

would be for a movie that I was actually in.

I'm gonna get one of those red carpet pics

with a Getty Image watermark, send it to all my Ohio friends.

- You still talk to them? - Starting tonight, hopefully.

Damn it.

I don't think I got this fart commercial.

My agent said they were deciding today.

You two are very sexy people.

Thank you?

200 bucks, you let me lick your foot?

Oh, my God.

Absolutely.

Ew, Brooke, no.

What? It's 200 bucks.

It's not like I have to lick a foot.

I meant the boy.

Hm?

It is $200.

Hey, everyone, look over here.

You're not gonna want to miss this.

ChaseDreams, 3.2 million followers

across all social media platforms.

He sees you. Please, see him.

- -

Let's squeeze in a little math homework real quick.

- - There it is, yeah, yeah...

- - A-plus.

- - Yeah.

Hi.

Oh, congratulations on your wedding.

Oh, no, uh, we're here for the premiere.

Um, our tickets say "general admission,"

but I know that... Sharon wanted us to walk the red carpet.

You mean Shauna?

Damn, that was so close.

Nice try, but we can't let just anyone on the red carpet.

Oh, we're not... we're not "just anyone."

We're the Dreamses.

- We are Brooke and Cary Dreams. - No, I... I'm Cary Dubek.

I'm an actor on my own.

I got into NYU, actually.

I couldn't go, but I got in.

I'm not sure that's worth saying out loud.

Chase Dreams! Ashley from "Pop Goss."

- How are you? - I'm good, Ashley.

- How are you? - I'm great.

Now, tell our readers, boxers or briefs?

I don't know, whatever my mom buys.

Aw, cute. Red or yellow?

Red, but yellow's tight too.

Awesome. Israel or Palestine?

Um, I think they're both dope

and should just keep being true to themselves.

- Yes, absolutely. - Oh...

The situation's very complicated.

Damn it.

Let's just go in the main entrance...

Cary, we must live every day

like it's the last day that Chase is famous.

Ooh, I have an idea.

Follow me. Act confident. Grab something.

What?

Hurry, hurry, hurry-hurry-hurry, hurry.

Ugh, another red carpet!

And... and I brought napkins.

Chase, what's your favorite thing to snack on

when you're jamming out to music?

Um, I don't know. Everything's good.

Okay, well, we're streaming live on Bagel Bites TV.

So can you say Bagel Bites?

Oh, yeah. Bagel Bites!

Okay, great, but can you say it in a sentence

like, "I'm Chase Dreams and when I'm jamming out to music

I love to eat Bagel Bites!"

I'm Chase Dreams and when I'm jamming out to music

- I love to eat Bagel Bites. - ...eat Bagel Bites.

Okay, great. Congrats on whatever it is you do.

- Thanks. - Haley!

Why is everyone wearing jeans?

I thought they were rich.

Oh, yeah, I think if you're rich,

you can just wear jeans to things.

I want to be rich and wear jeans to things.

- Next. - Pick someone you look like.

Hi. I'm Tinsley Mortimer from "The Real Housewives."

And I'm... Ellen DeGeneres.

Nice try.

Please walk back by the bushes

where absolutely no one will photograph you.

Ellen.

Right this way.

I'm just gonna stick with Tinsley.

Thank you though.

This is bullshit.

I can't believe Tinsley Mortimer didn't work.

I mean, is it really that hard to believe

that she would be here?

- That is rude to Tinsley. -

Why isn't my agent calling me?

What's his name again? Shrimp Scampi?

"Skip Shamplin."

Didn't he almost boil to death or something?

Yeah, he fell asleep in a hotel hot tub.

- -

See, we're laughing. We're having fun.

Tonight's gonna be great 'cause we're hot,

we're cool, and we're killing it.

Oh, hey, remind me, need to find a guy

to go home with tonight 'cause I don't have a house.

I thought you were crashing at work?

I got fired because one of the bitch agents

found my underwear in the oven.

Chase! Hi!

- Hey. - Hey.

Oh, my God, how's your first red carpet?

Oh, I can't believe they flew you

all the way out here for this.

It was fun. Streeter's hair melted.

What? - Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey.

Hi. Streeter. Nice to meet you.

I'm, uh, Chase Dreams' manager.

Yeah, no, we met last week. We had a full meal together.

Oh, uh, gay brother. And, uh, girl sister.

Right... oh, you guys aren't getting married, are you?

Because that would be bad optics for this guy right here.

Although love is love is love is love,

as, uh, Linda Manuel once said.

It's uh, "Lin-Manuel Miranda."

Lin-Manu... who's Linda Manuel then?

- And why do I represent her? - Okay, buddy, let's get a pic.

- Yeah. - Mom wanted to see our outfits.

- Let's do it. - Yes, oh, let's get a picture!

Okay, here you go, Casey.

- It's "Cary." - Huh?

Take a shot. Here we go.

Everybody say, "Streeter's less of a manager,

more of a friend."

Please make your way into the theater!

"When in Rome" is about to begin.

I mean, uh... uh... ooh!

Kevin, you had one job.

"When in Gnome" is... is about to begin.

Okay, here we go.

Ride a Vespa?

I guess, when in a-gnome!

- - You want me to eat-a this entire pizza?

- - I guess when in a-gnome!

- Hey, Skip. - Cary!

Great news. It's down to you

and one other guy for the commerc'.

Great!

The thing is, they want to make a decision by tonight.

So they'd like you to do one more read, okay?

They were hoping you could be a little less, uh,

a little less colorful.

Yeah, uh, yeah, what do you mean by colorful?

Uh, just, uh, a teensy less in your face.

Okay. I mean, the line's just

"Ha ha great party," and then I smell a fart.

- I... - Listen, kid.

You know how like, in real life, you're gay?

- Yes. - Well, the ad guys love that.

In fact, one of the guys wanted me to tell you

that his brother is also gay.

- Cool. - But the thing is

they think that the character is straight.

You know, because if you're gay

and you're at a party

- and you smell a fart... - Whoo!

I mean, that's a lot for an audience to digest

in 30 seconds, you know?

Their head's going, whoa-whoa-whoa, what's going on?

So they were hoping that you could read it straighter.

Um, sure, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I just... I really want to get this.

Um, I know I haven't, um, booked a lot in a while.

I... I don't even know how you're making money off of me.

- I just... - Cary!

Don't worry about me. I'm an agent.

- I'm doing fine with money. -

Hi. 85th and Columbus.

- You got it. -

That movie was so long.

It was 62 minutes.

Exactly. Nothing should be longer than a "Gilmore Girls."

- Mm. - Hi. Thank you.