Another Period

Previously on "Another Period"...

You ordered a white heiress, right?

Hello, little girl.

Your sister's in quite a bit of trouble.

That's right, show daddy how pretty your dress is.

I can't believe they hacked Edison's server.

What? Talbert, the butler?

Yeah, hacked him to pieces with an axe.

Step right up!

A private film stolen

from Edison Studios is now available for viewing!

I can't wait to see it!

I can't wait to ejaculate next to you in public.

You've come for me!

I knew sending daily press releases

to every newspaper in town would eventually pay off.

Beatrice!

Beatrice, you're a slut. Smile.

- What? - Beatrice, now,

are you a regular slut or a nasty slut?

Excuse me, my name's Lillian.

Yes, Beatrice, following up, I have a question:

you're a whore.

I'll rephrase it as a question: You're a whore?

- I'm not a whore! - Beatrice,

then why did you record the eroti-scope?

What?

I feel scared and confused, so I'm gonna yell!

- No, Beatrice! Beatrice! - Beatrice!

My sister can't comment right now,

but feel free to ask me anything.

Uh...

- pack it up. - Nothing to see.

Hello?

I'm a whore too!

Beatrice, look on the bright side.

This could be great for me.

How is this great for anybody?

Because, people are finally interested in the Bellacourts,

so they'll be writing about the one with star quality.

That's moi.

Sisters. The gossip rags have arrived.

Ooh!

I made the cover!

"Golden-haired Beatrice Bellacourt

with... passerby."

Passerby?

Oh, no.

They're not writing about me at all.

Oh, this is so stupid!

Why does everyone care about dumb, boring Beatrice having sex?

People care about Beatrice

because she made a statement.

But... she was also humiliated and a victim.

She did it on purpose, but she was also tricked.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

No, this is the worst thing

that's ever happened to me!

Stop trying to make this all about you!

But I'm the one in the film!

- Don't rub it in! -

What are you looking at?

Are those damn newspapermen still out there?

No, we have new neighbors.

Oh, God in heaven, they're Italian!

Don't tell me those little Caesars are moving in next door.

We're gonna have to move to France.

Those olive gardeners are gonna drive down the value of this house.

The sunlight is coming down

on their black hair. It's blinding me!

- - Oh, God.

Gentlemen.

A gift from your new neighbors.

Olive oil? They might as well

have sent us rat feces.

They put it on their hair to make it shimmer.

It's how they hypnotize you at the fair.

Peepers, pour that down the toilet at once,

and then set fire to the toilet.

And then dump the ashes on their yard to send a message.

And then take a poop on that pile of ashes.

Close the door, please.

Don't... not with your hands.

You've touched the olive oil. With your feet.

Beatrice, what are you doing on the floor?

That's what the servants eat off of.

Mother, everyone's saying I'm a whore.

That is because you are a whore, dear.

It was not my fault.

I was kidnapped and forced to have sex on camera.

Nobody told you to get kidnapped!

The only thing you can do now

is make a public apology for your filthy behavior.

No, please. Mother, that's so embarrassing.

What's embarrassing is you,

and your golden mane of temptation.

Now, you go to your room

and stop looking at me like that.

Like what?

Like you're just begging to be kidnapped again.

- Oh, work that head knot. - Oh, that's it.

- Ooh! - Oh, my God.

Ooh, top of the morning to ya,

men and massage mavens. Just so you know,

we're looking into the hack at Edison Studios.

Right! Now, we think this is part

of a much larger crime wave here in Newport.

What... Stop that, right now.

- A crime wave in Newport? - Aye.

Not sure if you're aware of it, but you got some new neighbors.

Not sure what they want to call themselves,

but we've been calling 'em "dark-eyed sardine slingers."

- - I thought a good one

was "Arabian whites."

Cannoli fingerers!

Catholics!

- Hey, hey! - Whoa, hey!

You'll have to go to confession for that!

Sorry.

Nothing wrong with foldin' in the Mother Mary!

Oh, Lord in heaven...

now, how can we protect ourselves?

Well, the police are hiring people every day

to deal with the crisis, so let me know

if you know anyone interested.

I have always dreamed of putting on a uniform

- and then dominating strangers. - Plus, I am so bored.

I haven't left the house in six years.

- We'd like to join up. - Yes.

Oh. You look good enough.

- I dub thee police! - Oh!

Wait, that's it? There's no training or anything?

Well, department had some cutbacks, so training was the first thing to go.

And training to be a cop's

a bit like training for brain surgery:

you don't need much of it.

Just get in there and start crackin' open skulls.

And hey!

Don't forget to have fun out there.

Oh, let's get started, shall we?

- Oh, no! - How about you?

I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding!

This is all. Your. Fault!

First, you got us caught in that riverboat propeller,

and now this.

Everyone says you're so blonde and beautiful,

but I know the truth.

You're evil.

And without you, it's gonna be so much easier to hold up my head!

I don't care what the papers are saying.

I'm supposed to be the famous one!

I am not going to take this lying down.

Oh. Or maybe I will.

Deadline, deadline, deadline.

- Deadline, deadline, deadline! - Look at this.

These serial numbers do not match.

- Excuse me! - Check your files, twice.

I read your article

about Beatrice Bellacourt. And I'll have you know,

you're barking up the wrong tree.

It's her sister you wanna be writing about.

- Thank you for your help. - Hortense Bellacourt?

We write about her often.

No, no, her other sister. Her name's Lillian Bellacourt.

- Who? - Lillian Bellacourt.

Okay.

She's the type of person the public would love to hate,

- and then just love. -

I've never heard of her. Now, is she a whore, like her sister?

That's what people wanna read about.

Oh, yes, definitely.

She's a huge whore. Big, big whore.