White Famous

Ay, sit down. Here's what's been happening on White Famous.

They shut us down. They pulled the plug.

- Peter? - He thinks that Robbie

is the fucking star.

And Gwen... He's putting 'em into

some interracial Mad About You reboot.

Fuck you doing here, Malcolm?

Well, until we land somewhere, I need a place to work.

- I ain't got a office anymore. - I don't have a crush on you.

I actually just started seeing somebody.

I'm truly here just to tell you I'm sorry.

This must be Trevor.

Maybe y'all should go out, you know, break bread together.

I'm not gonna let him replace you,

no matter how cool he is.

There's a part, and I think it could be

a much better showcase for your talent.

Read the script.

I thought about it, and I think it's a...

It's a brilliant idea.

Surprise, little man!

Wow. Thanks, Dad.

What's with that face? Lookin' at me like

I just brought you a Cosby sweater.

It's just... I already have one.

Oh, your mama finally came through, huh?

Not my mom, exactly.

If not your mama, then who?

- No. - Yeah.

Hell no. You mean to tell me

he's buying you gifts now too?

He's bribing you? Mm-hmm.

- And it's working. - What am I supposed to do,

say no? It was an awesome gift.

- Where your mama at? - Practicing for a show.

Cool. Well, you go ahead, play your game.

- I'ma go ahead and take this one back. - No, no, no, no, no.

Don't take that back. I can sell this to one of my friends.

Oh, no, you will not. You ain't profiting off my fatherly generosity.

I'd rather have Balls play around with this thing.

He was eyeing it like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Just so you know, I appreciate Robbie's gift-giving,

but I still don't think he's legit.

- I think he's trying too hard. - Oh, I know he's trying too hard.

Hey, both of you, cut it out.

Poor guy's not even here to defend himself.

- Oh, the poor guy. - Ugh.

What type of shop you running here, woman?

What is that supposed to mean?

It means I don't want the... it means I don't want

the Duke of fucking Earl trying to bribe my kid.

Well, I'm sorry to break it to you, Floyd,

but they actually get along really well. It's sweet.

How many times have y'all hung out?

I don't know, a few.

- A few? - Yeah.

You think that's appropriate?

Isn't that a little fast?

You're the one who encouraged us to go out in the first place.

Hey, I was confused and overwhelmed at the time.

Only thing I suggested is that y'all go out and break some bread.

I didn't know you was gonna move in with him.

Okay, you're acting hysterical, Floyd, and weirdly possessive.

Maybe I am, but I just didn't expect things to accelerate so quickly.

What happened to taking things slow?

- Why you rushin'? - Nobody's rushing.

He just got him a little present.

- It's not a big deal. - It's a big deal to me.

Oh, my God, I am so tired of your petty jealousy, Floyd.

I know you think it's cute,

or maybe you're just workshopping your material,

but you're wearing me the fuck out.

Are you coming to my showcase tonight?

Since when have I missed one of your things?

- Plenty of times. - Oh, maybe when I was on the road,

taking care of business, 'cause that's what I do, Sadie.

- Oh, my God. - TCB.

Are you finished, or would you like to continue

the run and pat yourself on your long-suffering back?

Nah, I'm good. But you know how much I love

hearing you sing and watch you do your thing.

Shit make me harder than a corpse in the winter.

That's nice, Floyd. Don't you have that thing to go to?

- What? - Yeah.

Word?

Break a leg.

Fool.

Look, man, I'm your best friend in the whole wide world.

If you don't put a ring on that bitch's finger, then you're stupid.

Beat!

Because I might just do it.

Mind if I get in on this?

That was beautiful, guys. You see?

My instincts were right on this. What a great cast.

Young... oh, fresh.

So fresh.

And funny.

Most importantly: diverse, yes?

Now, this is woke... Better!

This is woke without giving the impression

of trying for woke... ness.

I mean, this is like...

...comfort food for the soul.

No! Soul food... for the soul.

See what I did there? Everyone get out.

Go, go, go. Oh, except Floyd.

Just wanna have a little, uh, chitchat with my man,

my-my brother from a Nubian mother.

All right, it's not working. But it's fine.

Listen, Floyd. I, uh...

- I wanna thank you. - For?

Whatever you did to Amy, however you did it, you...

you have reinvigorated our marriage,

- and I thank you. - Oh, shit.

- Here we go. - You know, it's like

your penis is a... I don't know,

some kind of erotic time machine that's just swept Amy back

to how she was when she met me, and I've...

She was a hellcat back then, I'm telling you...

Just a real sexy little... f-fuck doll.

I mean, s-so dirty.

So thank you. It is a...

it's a joy to have her back in my bed.

Happy to be of service. Not even remotely offended.

- Are we done here? - Yeah, sure.

A-are you gonna talk to Malcolm?

Ah, yes, um... moment of complete honesty?

Moment of complete honesty.

You're gonna have to read for the producer.

Wait, what? No, man... you're the boss man.

- I thought you told me... - Yes, yes, I know, and, uh...

I like what I said.

I just can't go around having opinions all over the place.

Wouldn't make for a very happy work environment, would it?

But don't worry. If he doesn't engage,

I'll just, uh, you know, ram it through.

- So do I have the job or not? - Well, in my experience,

the outcome of any important meeting's usually been decided

long before anyone sets foot in the room, so I don't know.

You know what, man? You're confusing me.

- I'm gonna leave before I hit you. - Oh!

Yup, yup, w-wait. Big love, brother.

Big, big love.

I'll see you around.

- Right. - Oh, and one more thing.

You don't have to say "beat." You just have to leave a beat.

And, uh, no more cursing, Floyd.

This is network shit.

Now, fuck off.

Hey!

Floyd, you scared the shit out of me.

What the fuck was that?

- What did I just witness? - Oh, it was nothing.

- It was a dumb acting exercise. - "A dumb acting exercise," huh?

What is that, some shit you learned from Teddy?

A method acting or something?

- Exactly. - Let me tell you something.

That clown is currently seeing my baby mama,

and he's currently involved in my son,

so if you two are currently doing some low-down,

dirty fucking, I wanna know about it.

Floyd, it's complicated.

It's not that complicated, Gwen.

You're either riding his rig, or you're not.

The lines just get blurry when you work together.

Oh, I know. Like, one day,

you could be working with Peter, then the next minute,

you're giving him a tug job while he's sucking on one of your titties.

- It's true! - I thought you had a boyfriend.

Didn't you say you started seeing somebody new?

Wait, was it him you was talking about?

- Sort of. - Motherfucker!

Oh, Floyd, come on. Don't go off all half-cocked.

Oh, I'm not half-cocked. I'm fully cocked!

Don't you worry about it.

You gotta fuckin' tell her.

- I think that's a terrible idea. - Of course you do, man,

'cause you thinking about how that's gonna fuck up the business.

No, Testes, I'm thinking about how it's gonna affect

his relationship with Sadie, long-term.

No matter how this shakes out, he's always gonna

be the one who spilled the beans

and fucked up her relationship with Robbie.

And trust, she will resent you for that.

Man's got a point.

My head's all mixed up right now.

You know, part of me feels good

because I knew he was a punk from the beginning,

but then part of me feels bad

'cause I don't want her to feel bad.

But then I kind of do.

It's that duality of man shit, man.

You know, if anybody should tell her anything,

it should be me, because then

she'll break down in anger and sadness,

and I could be there to comfort her.

Might be my only chance to get in there.

I mean, I could literally be inside her

before she realizes it's a terrible idea,

and then I could be a substitute