Joe vs Carole

* *

* Time and time again *

* When I need someone to care *

* I find you're all *

[Alice Cooper's "No More Mr. Nice Guy"]

* *

Oh, good, you're up.

I got Carole in the back.

- I haven't even had my coffee yet.

- Well, get it to go. Bring your camera.

I'm serving up breakfast with a side of justice.

- What are you talking about, Joe?

- Carole Baskin came after my mom.

* No more Mr. Nice Guy *

- Time to introduce that bitch to my...

going-to-Tampa gun.

- So the man you're requesting a restraining order for,

this Joe Schreibvogel,

he assaulted you?

- Yes, he dragged me from his vehicle,

and he threw my body to the ground,

and then he shot me.

Bang, bang, bang.

- Three times. - Four times.

- Oh, thank you, honey. Four times in the chest.

- He shot you? - Yes.

And technically, it was a blow-up doll of me,

but to Joe, it was me.

And he filmed the whole thing, and he put it online.

- The man has threatened to kill her.

- And what makes you so sure he meant the doll to be you?

- Oh, well, here, just look at this.

- Please. -

- That bullet's for you, Carole Baskin!

You keep coming after my mom, you get the whole clip!

You hear me, Carole?

- Yeah, he meant it to be you. - Yeah.

- What did he mean about you coming for his mother?

- Joe recently surrendered a lawsuit to us

for a million dollars, which he does not have.

- Right, but he does have a zoo,

and he was afraid he was gonna lose it.

- Right, so he transferred it into his mother's name--

- Right, thereby hiding his biggest asset--

Which is fraud,

but now the court has to question Joe's mother.

- Right, and that's standard procedure,

but in his twisted brain,

he thinks that I put them up to it, so hence the...

- Does he have a history of violence?

- Oh, yes. Yes. - Yes.

- Yes, extremely abusive towards his animals.

I mean with humans.

Oh.

Well, not to our knowledge.

- But I wouldn't be surprised. - Yes.

- Has he ever been physical with you?

- We have never met face-to-face.

He lives in Oklahoma.

- Look, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid

you don't have enough grounds for a restraining order.

Yeah.

- In our county, you have to be struck

twice before you can petition.

- You're saying in order to get a restraining order,

Joe has to try to kill her twice and miss?

Just because he hasn't physically struck her yet

doesn't mean he won't.

I mean, we don't know what this man is capable of!

- Honey, honey. - We don't!

- It's okay. It's okay. - No, this is not correct.

Sorry.

This is outrageous.

- And unsurprising, my love. - What?

- In my experience, this is usually what happens

when a woman goes to the authorities for help,

no offense.

Okay, let's hurry.

If we hit a few green lights,

I can get to my Spanish class on time.

We're conjugating today.

You're still going?

- Yes, I'm still going. Why wouldn't I go?

Carole, I don't know.

This just seems like a lot for one day.

- Well, I'm not gonna let Joe

hijack my life, and neither should you.

Let's go.

I don't think I can drive.

I'm just too upset. I'm sorry.

* *

And in.

Let it go now.

Good, and in.

And out.

So now that we're both grounded in this space,

tell me, why hypnotherapy?

- Um, I have been having trouble sleeping.

- How long has this been going on?

- About two months. - Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, can't sleep at all, and then...

if I ever do fall asleep,

I am plagued by these nightmares about alligators.

Alligators everywhere, slithering through my hallways

and jumping on the bed, and I--I try to run away,

but I can't--I can't move, and it's terrifying.

Why alligators, do you think?

I don't know, Florida?

So you feel out of control.

Do you feel out of control in your waking life?

- I thought this was hypnotherapy,

not woo-woo psychoanalysis that takes ten years.

- Are you uncomfortable talking about what's bothering you?

No.

- Because I believe nightmares come from somewhere.

Uh-huh.

- So is there anything out of the ordinary going on?

Um, it, you know...

My car had a problem,

and my husband disappeared a year ago,

and they thought I had something

to do with it, which is ridiculous.

And throughout it all, I have been alone, very alone.

- Would you like to change that?

Um, no, thank you.

I'm not dating. I have horrific instincts.

Every man that I ever was with, I thought was "ahh"

and turned out to be "ugh," so...

This is starting to feel a little woo-woo.

- What if I told you I could help you

take all those feelings you have, box 'em up,

and put them on a shelf inside your brain?

That way, they won't take over your life.

- Love that. Yes. Yes.

You'll feel more in control.

Because ultimately, what you think about,

you bring about.

- What you think about, you bring about.

* *

- So I'm guessing you're here for the early bird special.

When in Florida, you know.

Howard Baskin.

I am Carole Stairs.

- How do you do? - Nice to meet you.

Pleasure.

- Um, what brings you this afternoon?

- Well, I'm friends with the organizer, Mary.

- Oh, yeah, of course. Me too.

- Oh, good. Oh, good, yes.

So I'm a bit of a softy, so she always invites me,

and I donate to her animal causes,

and everybody's happy.

How about you?

- I am one of her animal causes.

- Oh, really? - Yes.

- How about that? - Yes.

- Oh. - I own a wildlife sanctuary.

- Wow. - Yeah.

- Wow, well, now that I-- I see it now.

Birds, am I right?

Sorry, no.

- - No.

- All right, well, now, tell me, how are things

in the wildlife sanctuary business these days?

Rough since 9/11.

You know, no tourism, no donations,

but I have turned things around,

and I think we're doing okay.

Wow, good for you.

You must be really smart.

God doesn't usually give with two hands.

Isn't this incredible?

- Oh! - Hi, Mary.

Hi!

- Look at you! - How are you?

Nice to see you.

- Can you believe I got this place for free?

- Wow. - I told the manager,

if the aquarium doesn't care

that manatees are being gutted by propellers,

then why should anyone else?

- Yes, yes. - Precisely.

- I see you two have met. - Yes.

- Howard, you have to speak to Stu.

Remember, I was telling you

about his waste management company?

Stu! Stu!

Now, go and talk to him, Howard.

He needs your expertise.

- Well, excuse me. Very nice to meet you, Carole.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you for coming early.

You're killing me over here.

What?

Oh!

Like, Howard?

- Why, is there something wrong with Howard?

- Married? - No.

- Probation? - No, it's--

I mean, isn't he kind of...vanilla?