Space Cowboys

100,000. Shall we poke our nose into space, Frank?

That's enough. We're approaching heat barrier. Let's level off.

Recover One, this is Falcon. Beginning descent now.

Roger, Daedalus.

Got you on the scope, Frank.

Miss October.

Bing. 110,000th floor, ladies' lingerie.

You catch that, Hawk?

She's all right. She's just talking to me, that's all.

You trust me, don't you?

We're taking her down. That's an order.

Oh, here we go again.

Frank.

Look at that.

That's where we're going.

I don't know how and I don't know when but...

Fly me to the moon And let me play among the stars

Come on, baby.

You want to get out and give us a push?

We got to eject!

At 112,000 feet? Are you out of your mind?

No choice. We're not riding this one out.

Call mayday! We're popping! We're popping!

- I'm not losing another ship. - Don't think about it.

Just do it!

I'll count down to one. You ready? One.

Shit!

Crazy son of a bitch almost landed like a bug on a windshield.

This is it!

First one down wins the prize!

112,000 feet and I feel fine!

You've always got to push things to the limit.

That's what I do best, Frank.

Get off me!

Come on, you guys! Break it up!

Come on.

Is that smoke I smell?

Looks like a fire out by Ridgecrest.

We crashed the X-2.

My 4-million-dollar X-2?

Is that the X-2 you're referring to?

We did break both speed and altitude records, sir.

And beat the free-fall mark by 30,000 feet.

Three planes in ten months. That's bound to be a record too.

The engine failed. The aircraft went in a flat spin. We couldn't recover.

But you made it.

That's the important thing.

And you made it...

...just in time, Frank.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press...

...I'm Major Bob Gerson, United States Air Force, and I hold in my hand...

...a directive from the president of the United States of America.

It reads:

"Effective immediately, the Air Force's involvement...

...in outer atmosphere testing and exploration...

...is hereby terminated.

A new civilian agency...

...the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, is this day chartered.

Project Daedalus is now complete...

...and designated Mission Accomplished."

The Air Force is out?

What about the pilots?

Who will be the first American in space?

A decision has been made. After an exhaustive search...

...we've identified who can best carry out a mission of this magnitude.

This job calls for toughness, both mental and physical toughness...

...and in the tradition of the best of the Air Force...

...an ability to follow orders to the letter.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Maryanne...

...the first American to cross into outer space.

Look, Frank. She wants to shake your hand.

You bastard.

Shake her hand for the cameras, Frank. That is an order.

It just isn't responding.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is mission director Sara Holland.

She's been monitoring the situation closely...

...and she assures me that the problem is well in hand.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

As you may know, 11 days ago, atmospheric tracking determined...

...that Russian communications satellite Ikon...

...has initiated orbital degradation.

Computer trajectory models predict a steady acceleration...

...in sequence with the gravitational constant.

There's a systems failure in online navigation and guidance avionics.

All redundant systems are non-responsive.

Without active course correction in the next 30 to 40 days...

...the satellite will reenter the Earth's atmosphere.

And crash?

General.

Ikon has served you for 14 years.

That is in the performance range of a communications satellite.

It will probably crash in the ocean or burn up in the atmosphere.

I think it's best that we let it.

My country's grateful for the efforts of NASA and the State Department.

However, losing Ikon is not an option.

Ikon is not just a communications satellite to the Russian Federation.

Ikon is the communications satellite.

You are undoubtedly aware of our restructuring programs.

Losing all telecommunications...

...until we're able to replace Ikon could plunge us into chaos.

And perhaps...

...even civil war.

Hard to believe you fellas only have one bird up there.

Couldn't we just transfer the workload?

Gene. Excuse me, Sara.

We have a presidential mandate to assist the Russians...

...our partners in the International Space Station.

And I assure you that we will fix this problem.

It's just a glitch.

You are feeding these guys bold-faced lies.

It's a waste of money and my staff's time.

Sara, you're one hell of an engineer...

...but you don't know jack-shit about politics.

Helping the Russians save face is an act of good faith.

How can you put a price on that?

This thing is dumb as a post. It's dead in the air.

Kid, why don't you stop trying to talk to the satellite?

You have the code. Override the guidance system.

You want to figure that mess out?

The guidance system on this thing is a dinosaur.

Even these guys don't understand it.

It's pre-microprocessor. It's pre-everything.

Whoever designed this Byzantine piece of shit...

...is probably chopping rocks in Siberia.

Ethan, can I access the Skylab files from here?

What does that have to do with anything?

A damn fine politician, but you don't know jack-shit about engineering.

This is the guidance system from Skylab.

That's not possible.

Maybe there's similarities, but they can't be the same.

I'm looking up the designer.

Hell. Don't bother.

It was Francis D. Corvin.

Is he dead?

Only if I'm lucky.

Would you like me to read the instructions to you again?

Let me tell you something, my dear.

A fella in Japan wrote those instructions when he made this thing.

They were probably translated by some gringo...

...an expatriate American who couldn't get a job in this country.

Then a Japanese guy probably translated him to double-check on him.

We don't need these instructions. Not at all.

Tear them up.

You know the door to the house is locked, right?

Well, it's no problem.

- You forgot the batteries? - Yeah.

I've got you here in the garage.

The smell of gasoline, of fertilizer.

What do you say, baby?

I'll push you up on this washer and turn you a few cycles.

- I'll turn this washer on... - Help! Oh, help!

I'm locked in the garage with a dirty old man!

- Didn't we do this once 20 years ago? - Yeah, I know.

Dr.Corvin?

Yes.

Excuse me, sir, am I interrupting something?

- Yeah. - Dr.Corvin, I'm Sara Holland...

...and this is astronaut Ethan Glance.

We're with NASA.

It was in your car. I heard someone scream.

Thanks for saving the day. Now what is it you want?

Could we have a minute of your time?

You should've called ahead of time. I'm a very busy man.

Dr.Corvin, we're here because a satellite with your guidance system...

...is about to reenter the atmosphere. The system is non-responsive.

You want to take a crack at it?

There seems to be an interruption in the path here.

But the circuitry still works. It's sending us data.

You're losing your uplink.

There has to be a problem in the manual routing drive.

I don't think so.

That's the consensus among the engineers.

Same engineers that sent you two here?

Sorry, does that bother you?

Yes, it does, actually.

Your design predates all existing guidance systems.

It was ahead of its time in '69 but this technology's obsolete now.

None of the current engineers even speak the language...

...and the older guys are all...

- ...are... - Yeah.

It wasn't designed for this duration of duty, that's what.

It was designed for the Skylab.

My advice is to capture it and bring it home.

It's too big.

For the space shuttle? What kind of bird is it?

It's a Russian communications satellite.

What the hell's my guidance system doing on a Russian satellite?

That's not our primary concern at this time.

Where's it orbiting? Or is that not your primary concern either?

1,000 miles.

Rate of decay?

8,000 meters per day and accelerating.

It's coming home, five weeks at the most, I got.

NASA's calculations agree. But here we are.

Doctor, you designed this system.

If anyone can solve this problem, it's you.

For a minute there, I thought you two might be Bob Gerson's lackeys.

But your knowledge...

...and your knowledge of history seems to make that impossible.

Gerson's been taking credit for my work since '58...