The Princess Diaries

Time for school.

Stop daydreaming. You'll be late for school.

Hi, Louie, come on.

- It's time to go to school. -

Let's go.

- Are you feeling confident? - Not really.

Just remember, when you make your speech,

don't look at the people.

Pick a spot on the back wall,

don't take your eyes off it, and speak loudly.

Thanks, Mom.

- Bye, Mom. - Good luck.

- Morning, Muttons. -

Be nice, Muttons.

Whoa. Whoa!

Sorry, Mr. Robutusen.

Have a nice day.

I doubt it.

Whoo!

- Josh, what are you doing? - He's such a show-off.

Off the wall, please. Jeremiah, off the wall.

Come on, you know better than that.

- Good morning, Miss Gupta. - Morning, Lilly.

Lilly's friend.

Oh, oh. Oops.

I'm sorry. I didn't see you. I was thinking...

Somebody sat on me again.

- Really? - Yeah.

I don't know what happened. I was sitting there, working on my speech.

- It's really a dumb class. - Jerk and jerkette sighting.

Hm?

What? You never saw two idiots exchange saliva before?

Oh. Yeah. They're so rude.

Good. For a second I thought you were going A-Crowd on me.

- Negative. -

- Ready for debate? - I'm never ready for debate.

This is not a debate. This is a control issue.

Grove controls our minds with what they teach us,

but they're not satisfied with that.

I think Grove should dump the uniforms and have casual dress all year round.

All right, all right. OK, girls, settle down.

Settle down, this is a debate.

After it's over, I want you back in your uniform.

- Whatever you say. - Josh sit down.

- He's the man. - He's my man.

OK, Josh, later. Down boy, you've made your point.

OK, so now we've all heard from Josh Bryant for the affirmative.

I love that sound.

- What's my point again? - You like our uniforms.

They're equalizers.

Now we'll hear the rebuttal from Mia Thermopolis,

who will present the negative argument against our proposition.

Um...

I think, um...

What a frizzball. Look at her hair.

Shh!

- Um... Uh... - We're waiting.

- Say something. - You see, um...

- -

Casual... Casual...

- Are you OK? - She's gonna barf.

Look out, she's gonna hurl.

Cover the tuba.

- - OK, OK.

Mia, finish up with Mrs. Talmond and then you can take a break.

- Huge tip from Mrs. Hirsch. - I got one from Mrs. Talmond.

- We are doing all right today. - Mr. Walsh's ropes are twisted.

Mr. Walsh, stop twisting.

You'll strangle yourself.

- Hi, Mom. - You threw up, huh?

- And you ran away. - I'm trying to forget about it.

Can I have some shoes and chalk, please?

Anyway, I'll go talk to your debate teacher...

- What's his name? - Mr. O'Connell.

And straighten it all out. - Mm-hm.

Mom, I am never going to be a good public speaker,

just call him and tell him I want to be a mime.

- I can do that. - Here you go.

- Oh. Your grandmother called. - What?

The live one, who lives in Genovia. Clarisse.

Oh! Wow.

This is the first time she's contacted us, what's she want?

She's in town, she wants to have tea.

Tea? She came all the way from Europe to have tea?

- Think I want to climb a little bit. - Rocks Around the Clock.

Isn't this the grandmother who made you two get a divorce?

Well, she didn't approve of me.

But Philippe and I made the decision to divorce on our own.

Why should I go see this snobby lady who ignores us?

Mia, she's your father's mother.

Just go see her tomorrow, please?

Tension.

She said your father hoped that you two would meet someday.

All right, I'll... I'll go.

Whoo!

OK. All right. I win, band practice is over.

I have a music class. Out.

Let's have the third group try "Catch a Falling."

Do you want to be in the front?

- Thanks. - No problem.

Michael.

You sure you can't help me with my spotted owl petition?

I told you. I'm meeting my grandmother after school.

The school tours are on Saturday, young lady.

I'm here for a meeting with my grandmother.

- Name? - Clarisse Renaldi.

Oh. Please come to the front door.

Thank you very much.

Get off the grass!

Welcome, Miss Thermopolis. We've been expecting you.

Um, oh, be careful. Please don't crush my soy nuts.

Your soy nuts are safe.

- OK. - Right this way.

Please, make yourself comfortable.

... special food for their daughter. She's allergic to peanuts.

And we need new pillows for the Prime Minister's wife.

She's allergic to goose feathers.

Hello, Amelia.

I'm Charlotte, from the Genovian Attache Corps.

Hi. It's nice to meet you.

- Um, where am I? - The Genovian Consulate.

You've got pears in your flowers.

Genovian pears. We're famous for them.

Now, if you'll sit down, she'll be with you in a moment.

No, I don't need a moment. I'm here.

- Amelia, I'm so glad you could come. - Hi.

- You've got a great place. - Thank you.

Let me look at you.

You look so... young.

Thank you.

And you look so...

clean.

Charlotte, would you go and check on tea in the garden?

Please, sit.

So, um...

My mom said you wanted to talk to me about something, so... shoot.

Before I... shoot, I have something I want to give you.

- Here. - Oh, um...

Thank you.

Wow.

It's the Genovian Crest. It was mine when I was young.

And that was my great grandmother's.

I'll keep this safe. I will take good care of it.

What did you want to tell me?

Something I think will have a big impact upon your life.

- I already have braces. - It's bigger than orthodontia.

The tea is served, ma'am.

Amelia, have you ever heard of Edward Christof Philippe Gérard Renaldi?

No.

He was the Crown Prince of Genovia.

Mm.

What about him?

Edward Christof Philippe Gérard Renaldi...

was your father. -

Yeah, sure. My father was the Prince of Genovia.

Uh-huh. You're joking.

Why would I joke about something like that?

No. No, 'cause if he's really a prince, then I'm...

Exactly. You're not just Amelia Thermopolis,

you are Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi,

Princess of Genovia.

Me? A... A princess?

Shut up!

I beg your pardon? Shut up?

Your Majesty, in America it doesn't always mean "be quiet."

- It could mean "wow", "gee whiz"... - I understand, thank you.

Nevertheless, you are the Princess.

And I am Queen Clarisse Renaldi.

Why on earth would you pick me to be your princess?

Since your father died, you are the natural heir to the throne.

That's our law.

I'm royal by marriage. You are royal by blood.

You can rule.

Rule? Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no, no.

Now you have really got the wrong girl. I never lead anybody.

Not at Brownies, not at Campfire Girls...

Queen Clarisse, my expectation in life is to be invisible

and I'm good at it.

Amelia, I had other expectations, also.

In my wildest dreams, I never expected this to happen,

but you are the legal heir, the only heir to the Genovian throne

and we will accept the challenge of helping you become the princess you are.

I can give you books.

You'll study languages, history, art, political science.

I can teach you to walk, talk, sit, stand, eat, dress like a princess.

Given time, I think you'll find the palace a pleasant place to live.

- Live in Genovia? - It's a wonderful country, really.

Whoa, whoa! Ju... Rewind and freeze. I'm no princess.

I'm still waiting for normal body parts to arrive.

I refuse to move to, and rule, a country,

and do you want another reason? I don't want to be a princess.