Courting Alex

Here, taste.

Mmm!

This is great.

What's your secret?

Always drink while you cook.

That's a good secret. That way if you mess up dinner, who cares?

Good beer, huh?

Hello?

Hey, Mark.

Nah-nah, I can't. I'm making dinner with my girlfriend

tonight.

Well, you will soon.

All right, well, let's hook up this week.

All right. Bye.

So, that was your friend, Mark?

Yep.

He wanted me to go to a movies with him.

What did you tell him?

Uh,

let's see... that I was busy.

Busy with...?

Mm...

cooking.

Cooking

with...?

Tomatoes?

What?

Nothing. No.

I was in the other room, and I heard you say,

"Oh, no, I can't tonight, Mark. I'm making dinner with my..."

and then I must've yawned or sneezed or something.

Well, let's see, I, uh...

I told him I was busy.

And, uh,

that we'd hook up this week.

Oh, and also...

No, I think...

I think that was it.

I thought I heard more.

I must be hearing things.

I'm going to take my bra off.

What?

Nothing. I didn't say anything.

Transcript: RaceMan - Synchro: jh26

Morning, neighbor.

Why are you shouting?

Somebody had a big night.

Stop.

Where are you going? I need coffee.

You need Visine and a Tic Tac.

Come on.

We'll grab a cup on my way to work.

Oh, Good God! That huge, fiery ball in the sky is back again.

Yes, and it replaced the thing you were howling at last night.

Are you coming to my gallery opening this week?

Yes.

Good.

I want my newest and dearest to be there.

Is that why you just invited all those strangers at the coffee place?

I need people to come and buy my paintings.

If they'll pay this much for a cup of coffee, they've got money to burn.

I'm off to Sharper Image next.

So, listen, I was hanging out with Scott last night

and something really cool happened.

Oh, God. Hide me, hide me.

What was that all about?

That's, uh,

Rita.

She owns the gallery.

We had a fabulous night.

This morning, she asked me if I wanted to stay for breakfast.

I say, "Where have you been all my life?"

She went to freshen up,

then I sneak out.

Why didn't you just tell her you had to leave?

Yeah. Thanks, Cyrano.

Back to me.

We're cooking dinner, right?

And he gets a phone call,

and he tells somebody he's at

his girlfriend's house.

He has a girlfriend?

Yes. Me.

He called me his girlfriend.

Oh, that's a shame. I rather liked him.

Excuse me?

I'm merely pointing out that every time you date someone, and it starts to progress,

even a little,

you panic.

What are you talking about?

Then you invent some trivial reason to break up with him and he disappears

faster than a

boy band after their "serious" record.

You're crazy.

Oh, yeah? So what about Ted?

If I recall, you broke up with him because, and I quote,

"The man refused to wear a watch!"

He did!

What? And that's not trivial?

Not to me; he was always late.

If we had spent our lives together,

I would have ended up waiting for him a combined total of, like, 18 months.

You actually sat down and did the math, didn't you?

Yeah.

One night while I was waiting for him.

Explain Michael, then.

Well, I had just taken on more responsibility at work.

Oh, Alex, come on.

Every time I said something funny, he went...

Yes, but with both of them, you thought their little quirks were cute,

until they wanted to get more serious.

This time is different.

I really feel like I'm ready

for something deeper now.

Oh, good for you.

Hey, maybe there's hope for me as well.

From now on, I'm going to try to be more mature and adult about my relationships...

Oh, crap, it's her again.

Hey.

Hey!

What a nice surprise.

I just came by to see if you were free for dinner.

Oh, I can't. I'd love to, but

I have a court date I'm preparing for, and then I have these contracts...

...that I have to look at, um,

before tomorrow.

Oh, that's a drag.

Well, you know, when I'm done, maybe I'll let you walk me home.

I'd like that.

Something wrong?

Nope.

No.

Nothing's wrong. In fact, everything is

excellent.

Alex, you better look at the...

Oh, for God's sake!

Tie a sock on the doorknob or something.

- Hello, sir. - Frequently, people knock, Dad.

Hey, would you mind if I grabbed another water?

No. Kitchen's right across the hall.

What is that sound he makes when he swallows?

He goes "Ahhh."

Really? I hadn't noticed.

You're kidding?

It sounds like he's deflating.

- Sorry, you've lost me. - How could you miss it?

That's the kind of thing that drives you nuts.

Like when you were dating Blinky.

"Nice to see you, Mr. Rose."

His name was Stuart, and it was born without tear ducts.

All I'm saying is,

do you have to date every stray that comes along?

Dad, I like Scott, and I'd appreciate it if you learned to play nice with him.

Hey. Thanks for this.

I'm going to take off.

- Bye, Mr. Rose. - Hey, Scott.

You like cashews?

- Uh, yeah. - Yeah?

Try some of these.

The importer is

a client of ours.

Oh, those are good.

- Pretty salty, though. - Really?

I didn't notice that.

Cheers.

Look, if you want, I can send you some of these.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

No. It would be my, uh,

my pleasure.

This has been fun.

You know, it's been a long time since a boy has walked me home from school.

I'd come inside, but I have to get back to the bar.

That's too bad, 'cause I was in the mood to make out.

I've got a few minutes.

Oh, look. It's Kiss-Me-Barbie and Horny Ken.

- This came to my door by mistake. - What is it?

Your father's nuts.

A phrase I hope never to use again.

"Cashews for your friend, Scott.

Cheers,

Dad."

That's nice.

Your dad's trying to make an effort.

He's trying something.

You know, I'm surprised Scott's still around. I thought he'd be history by now.

See, I told you; he's different.

More importantly, I'm different around him.

Like, I'm not getting all worked up over those silly, little insignificant...

Babe, you want a water?

Go to go.

Something wrong?

Um...

No. No.

Nothing at all.

Okay, yes.

What?

In the past, um,

when something would bother me,

I would just keep it to myself and let it fester

and bubble until I exploded, and then it'd cause a fight, and then we'd break up.