Cracker

You're depressed? Yes.

How depressed? Very.

- Suicidal? - Yes.

- The shame of being caught? - Yes.

Yeah.

The goods are laid out like that in order to tempt you.

You've been tempted beyond

endurance, which is exactly what they want.

There's no shame in that whatsoever.

- What supermarket was this? Valubuy's.

Did they call the police? Yes.

- Do you mind me asking how old you are? 78.

It's not you, is it, Mum? No.

Are there any shoplifters listening?

Here's a woman of 78 almost driven to suicide by Valubuy's supermarket.

Get down there. All shoplifters. Calling all shoplifters!

- Get down to Valubuy's and clean them out. Fitz, that's enough.

And even if you're not a shoplifter,

why not become one for just one day?

Think about it.

You'll get caught. How?

Someone'll tell on you.

- I've been doing it for months, Mum. - Sooner or later, someone'll tell.

- Why? - Because that's the way people are.

- It's only a few hours taxiing, that's all.

I'm trying to listen to this.

You can't work and claim social security.

- So, I stop signing on, yeah? - Yeah.

- Don't be ridiculous. - It's got nothing to do with you.

If he doesn't claim the soshe, what happens to it?

I'm trying to listen to this.

It stays down in London, that's what.

Is right, see. - It's stealing.

For God's sake, Mother, loads of people do it.

Is that Trish? - Yeah.

Good night.

We've been together three months, Floyd.

Yeah?

So...

So what?

- Come up. - We're OK here.

What's wrong?

Floyd?

You wouldn't like me naked.

Why not?

You think I'd laugh at you?

Not laugh.

No.

- Can you dance? - Eh?

- Can you dance? - Can I dance?

I taught Saint Vitus.

Oh, my God.

Hello, Fitz.

I thought you were staying in tonight.

Thank you.

Fitz, this is Peter.

Can you do this?

Just walk.

- How old do you think I am? - Late forties.

Bang goes your tip.

That's one bad joke. I don't know why I'm laughing at it.

Have you heard this? This fella gets his nudger cut off by his wife.

So he goes to the hospital for a

transplant and they offer him this 4" one.

And he goes, "No good to me, that, you know. "

All right, Floyd?

- Not much doing? - No.

So they offer him a 6" one. And he

goes, "Haven't you got any bigger than that?"

So they show him the 12" ones. And he goes er...

- What were you talking about? - What d'you mean?

I came up, you stopped talking. Why?

No reason in particular.

So he goes, "That's much better, but haven't you got any in white?"

- Catherine, isn't it? - Yes.

I'm not gonna hurt you, Catherine.

I know you're frightened, but honest, I'm not gonna hurt you.

If you don't struggle, Catherine,

if you don't struggle, Catherine, you'll enjoy this.

Promise me, Catherine, that you won't struggle

and I promise you that you'll enjoy this.

- Is that a deal, Catherine? - Yes.

Is that a deal?

Put this on.

Put this on your head, Catherine.

Lie down.

Lie down!

Are you OK, Catherine?

Catherine...

Is Tom good to you?

What?

Is he good to you?

Is he the jealous type?

If I was married to you, Catherine...

...I wouldn't let you out of my sight.

- It's good to get the sex out of the way, isn't it?

Yes.

Sorry?

I said yes.

Was it too fast for you, Catherine? Over too soon?

No.

Is it Catherine or Cathy?

- Catherine. - Catherine, hm.

You know, when we lived in caves, Catherine,

we were vulnerable during sex.

Take too long and there'd be a tiger at your throat.

Do it quick, and you'd live to do it again.

Have you ever thought of it like that?

No.

Do you fancy a swim?

Police.

There's been another rape.

I brought you some mints. You don't want to be smelling of whisky.

Right. Thanks.

And when I get the chance, I'd like to explain.

There's nothing to explain.

Did the earth move?

8.2 on the Richter scale, and those Krauts are accurate.

There's a possibility that this man has raped twice before.

Dr Fitzgerald's helping us to catch him.

But if you'd prefer it, he'll wait outside.

That's fine.

Right.

Did he wear a mask?

Did he put a hood over your head?

Yes.

Was there anything else?

Sometimes when somebody's raped, things happen.

Things that are very difficult to talk about.

Was there something like that?

He combed my hair.

Not here.

After he finished, he combed my hair.

- Has he done that before? - Yes.

- We'd like you to take some tests. Is that OK?

What?

- It's just a precaution. - You mean Aids?

There's no evidence he's got it.

- Were the other two women clear? - Yes. After the first tests.

Would you like to phone your husband?

Um...

Would you like to tell him in person?

I can't.

The thing is, he'll need to bring you some more clothes,

because we have to examine what you were wearing.

Would you like me to phone him?

He'll be at work.

Yes?

Why, what's happened?

I'll kill the bastard!

OK, have you all got your lists?

Bobby, just shut up a minute, will you?

Right, have you all got your lists?

OK, now we're inviting all these guys in, OK?

Cos they're all perverts. And they're perverts with previous.

So no-one's gonna complain if you lean on them. Understand me?

Aaagh! Get off me!

If you've got a minute, sir, we'd like you to pop down to the station.

I've done nothing. I'll come with you, but I've done nothing.

I've never been out of the frigging house.

- Argh! - Mind you don't bump your head. Get in.

- Mrs Malcolm? Is Floyd in? - What?

He's in bed! He's done nothing!

He was in all night!

- Which room? - Up there.

- Why didn't you say so? - He's done nothing wrong.

My sors done nothing wrong! He's been in there all night!

Floyd Malcolm? Floyd Malcolm?

- Yeah? - Get dressed, lad.

- Who are you? - Michael Aspel. Get your kit on.

Do you know why we brought you in?

You think I raped a woman in 1989.

- Well, didn't you? - No.

I was sent down for it.

But I've never raped no-one in me lifetime.

- So can I go now, please? - Where were you last night?

Driving the cab.

I finished about eight.

I went home and I stayed home.

Me mum, me brother and me sister

- three people, right? They'll back that up.

Can I go now?

Please?

Look...

I don't need to rape.

The old ones are always the best.

I drive a cab.

I pick up women full of booze. I get plenty of offers.

I don't need to rape.

Please let me go.

OK. Go on, you can go.

White women get raped by white men.

Believe it or not, Jimmy, the big black

guy lurking in the alleyway, it's a myth.

- He's signing on. - Yeah, I know.

We should tell the soshe. He drives a cab.

For Christ's sake, Jimmy, get real.

What do you get out of it?

I don't touch women.

It was a 12-year-old boy the last time.