He Said, She Said

HERE YOU GO, SIR.

YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT TODAY, MR. HANSON.

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE. 20 SECONDS TO AIR.

15 SECONDS. WHERE'S LORIE?

5...

4...

3...

2...

AND NOW, PERKELL HEATING AND COOLING

BRINGS YOU HE SAID, SHE SAID,

WITH YOUR COMMENTATORS

LORRAINE BRYER AND DAN HANSON.

THE ISSUE TODAY--

PROPOSITION 41, THE HIGHWAY MERGER.

GOOD AFTERNOON, DAN.

PROPOSITION 41 ON THE BALLOT IN OCTOBER

WOULD PROVIDE FOR A NEW CONNECTING SPUR

TO MERGE HIGHWAYS 710 AND 88.

IN MY VIEW, THIS MERGER IS LONG OVERDUE.

NOT ONLY WOULD IT IMPROVE ACCESS,

BUT IT WOULD ALLOW FOR MAXIMUM GROWTH,

ESPECIALLY IN THE OUTLYING AREAS.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'LL SAY, DAN--

THAT PROPOSITION 41 CAN WAIT,

THAT THERE'S NO NEED FOR IT NOW.

BUT IN TWO OR THREE YEARS,

IT WILL BE TOO LATE.

WE MUST GO FORWARD OR WE STOP.

NOW IS THE TIME.

AND THAT'S THE WAY I SEE IT.

WELL, LORIE, THERE YOU GO--

OVER-INTELLECTUALIZING AGAIN.

COMMON SENSE TELLS US

THAT A MERGER IS SIMPLY NOT NEEDED.

THESE TWO HIGHWAYS FUNCTION QUITE WELL INDEPENDENTLY.

A MERGER NOW WOULD ONLY MEAN INCREASED SPENDING,

TRAFFIC, AND CONGESTION

IN AN ALREADY CROWDED AREA.

AND THE OUTLYING AREAS THAT YOU SPEAK OF

HAVE REACHED A PLATEAU

WHERE FURTHER GROWTH IS JUST NOT EXPECTED.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THE STATUS QUO, LORIE.

AS MY UNCLE OLAF USED TO SAY,

"WHY FIX IT IF IT AIN'T BROKEN?"

AND THAT'S THE WAY I SEE IT--OW!

CHRIST.

THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE COMMENTATORS

ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF STATION WBAL.

EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME, PLEASE.

OH. THIS IS IT.

SHE'S GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME.

WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?

SHE GOES NUTS ON THE AIR,

AND YOU'RE ASKING ME WHAT I DID TO HER?

YOU MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING.

YOU DON'T MAKE A REBUTTAL WITH A BLUNT OBJECT.

YOU DO THIS. IT'S TOO DISGUSTING.

I JUST HOPE WELLER DIDN'T SEE THE SHOW TODAY.

HE'LL BE FINE. GET BACK TO WORK.

PLEASE.

EMILY, FIND SOME ASPIRIN.

LOOK AT ALL THOSE PHONE CALLS, MR. THURMAN.

HUNDREDS OF THEM.

VULTURES. THEY ALL CAN'T WAIT

TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW.

YEAH. NEITHER CAN I.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THEY ALL CAN'T WAIT

TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW.

THIS COULD BE THE BEST THING

THAT EVER HAPPENED TO US. IF WE PROMOTE THIS RIGHT...

YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHO I JUST TALKED TO--

BILL WELLER'S SECRETARY HERSELF.

YOU DID? THAT MEANS WELLER SAW THE SHOW TODAY.

SEE, THIS COULD BE GOOD. THIS COULD BE VERY GOOD.

HE LOVES THIS KIND OF STUFF. WHAT DID SHE SAY?

SHE SAID HE WOULD BE CALLING.

DID YOU HEAR THAT? SHE SAID--

WAIT. BILL WELLER'S CALLING ME?

ON MY PHONE? PERSONALLY?

THIS COULD BE BAD, VERY BAD.

HE NEVER CALLS YOU PERSONALLY

UNLESS HE REALLY WANTS TO HURT YOU.

WE'RE SCREWED.

WALLY, SIT DOWN. RELAX. TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S THINKING.

IT MAY NOT BE THAT BAD.

YOU THINK HE'LL STILL PUT YOU ON HIS NETWORK

AFTER TODAY'S FIASCO?

LORIE BLEW THE ENTIRE DEAL.

LOOK. I'LL TALK TO LORIE.

HE'S SPENDING A FORTUNE ON YOU TWO,

AND HE WATCHES YOU BREAK UP ON THE AIR.

WE'RE NOT BREAKING UP.

THIS IS THE WAY WE ARE, ME AND LORIE.

THIS IS THE WAY WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN.

HI. THIS IS LORIE BRYER.

I'M WITH THE PEOPLE SECTION OF THE SUN.

HANSON.

YES. HELLO. THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME BACK.

I'M DOING THE OBITUARY ON PROFESSOR HOLLIS.

COLOR OF THE BRIDE'S...

WHAT TIME IS THE WEDDING--UH, FUNERAL?

PUCE? RIGHT. OK.

DOES THE FAMILY HAVE ANY SPECIAL REQUESTS?

IN LIEU OF FLOWERS. GREAT.

THANKS VERY MUCH.

BYE-BYE.

PUCE.

WELL, THIS IS DEFINITELY PULITZER PRIZE MATERIAL.

THIS WILL TURN JOURNALISM ON ITS EAR.

THERE ARE NO SMALL JOBS HERE, MISS BRYER.

A NEWSPAPER IS A DAILY MIRACLE,

AND WE'RE ALL PART OF IT.

HA HA HA HA HA!

DIANA.

OH, YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE.

IT'S YOUR HAIR, RIGHT?

IT'S YOUR CUT. YOU FOUND YOUR CUT.

WE STILL ON FOR FRIDAY?

IT'S MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY.

CAN WE CHANGE IT TO SATURDAY?

SURE. ABSOLUTELY. NO PROBLEM.

MY ENTIRE SCHEDULE IS AT YOUR DISPOSAL.

SHEILA. SHEILA. SHEILA.

I'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

CAN WE CHANGE SATURDAY TO FRIDAY?

IT'S MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY.

SURE, DAN. I CAN DO THAT.

OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

YOU'RE AN ANGEL.

THANKS.

DAN!

DAN!

SHIT.

DAN!

LOUSY, SELF-CENTERED, THREE-TIMING JERK.

SCUMBAG.

OH, GOD. I FELL FOR...

SHH.

NOW I FIND OUT HE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

JUST TAKE MY ADVICE.

STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

NEVER GO OUT WITH HIM.

THERE'S NO CHANCE OF THAT.

I DON'T GO OUT WITH COWARDLY SCUMBAGS.

I MEAN, WHAT DOES EVERYBODY SEE IN HIM?

HE'S NOT THAT GOOD-LOOKING.

HE THINKS THAT HE'S CHARMING

WITH ALL THIS BOYISH STUFF,

AND I CAN'T IMAGINE

THE SEX WOULD BE ANY GOOD.

WELL...

HOW MANY Es IN SLEAZEBALL?

A NOTE IS GOOD,

BUT YOU NEED TO MAKE A MUCH MORE DRAMATIC POINT.

YOU OUGHT TO JUST BREAK SOMETHING.

ONE OF HIS MODELS.

YEAH.

UH, NO, THE WOLFMAN.

THAT'S HIS FAVORITE, I THINK.

OH, NO. I COULDN'T DO THAT.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD HIM TALK

ABOUT THE WOLFMAN?

IT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES.

LOOK. JUST DO ME A FAVOR, OK?

NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM,

YOU KICK HIS BUTT FOR ME.

YOU GOT IT.

OK.

YOU...

DON'T SAY A WORD.

YOU WERE GOING TO LET HER TRASH MY WOLFMAN.

WELL, YOU DESERVE IT,

LYING TO THAT POOR GIRL.

AM I RESPONSIBLE

FOR THE PERSONALITY DISORDERS OF MY DATES?

I TOLD JANET I SEE OTHER WOMEN.

I DON'T LIE.

WHAT, YOU HELP LITTLE OLD LADIES

CROSS THE STREET, TOO?

I HAPPEN TO HAVE 17 MERIT BADGES.

AND BY THE WAY,

SEX WITH ME IS VERY GOOD.

UH-HUH.

I'M SURE.

WHY? HAVE YOU HEARD SOMETHING?

WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD?

NOTHING.

NOTHING.

OK, EVERYBODY.

I KNOW THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF RUMORS FLOATING AROUND

SINCE MONROE ANNOUNCED HIS RETIREMENT.

SO, I'VE DECIDED TO GIVE YOUNG MR. HANSON HERE

A CRACK AT THAT COLUMN.

CONGRATULATIONS.

HARRY, COME HERE.

Listen, I told you yesterday

I promised the column to Miss Bryer.