Mr. Long (ミスター・ロン)

We were digging a hole to bury that pig.

Stupid Yang hit his own feet with the shovel.

And fell right in!

He grabbed Fatty's legs to pull himself out

but Fatty was pulled into the hole, too!

Dumb-ass Yang got squashed.

He was crying like a pathetic goat.

Going "Baa, baa!"

Dogs were barking all over the place.

Houses started turning on their lights!

Shit...

Then the hole started filling up with rain.

Yang almost drowned in there.

Someone that stupid should've been buried too!

We tried to help, but he was stuck in the mud.

He wouldn't budge. It took forever!

We were muddy and totally drenched,

but tried to yank him out.

We finally freed him.

Yang was buck naked from the waist down!

You know!

The full monty!

He covered his crotch yelling: "Don't look!"

And then get this. He fell back in.

We pulled him up again.

Dammit. His pants were back on!

No kidding!

I thought I was seeing things.

His underwear, too?

How'd he do that in the mud?

underwear back on?

Next day, Fatty's body was found.

It was in all the papers.

They found something else.

They found a pair of... women's panties!

Were they Yang's panties?

He's a cross dresser?

Exactly!

It's beyond belief.

That idiot's late as hell. What's he doing?

I guess they grabbed him.

Hope he doesn't blab.

It might be better if they whack him anyway.

Good. That means a bigger share for us.

Should I kill that idiot?

Yang, what're you doing?

Get over here.

Tomorrow night, Tokyo. Roppongi.

There'll be a driver.

Yo...

Tryin' something?

He came all the way from Taiwan?

Yeah.

To whack you?

Right.

You're movin' up.

Give my girl back.

Who the fuck are you?

Give my girl back.

Fuck!

That asshole!

Go get him!

Give me back...

my girl... Give her back.

There!

Where is he?

I'll find him.

Fuck!

He ain't here.

Where'd he go?

Where'd you come from?

Are you that dog I rescued?

The dog's repayment?

Yummy.

You speak Chinese?

My mom's Taiwanese.

Jun! Get back here!

Right now!

Over here.

Come on. Hurry up!

What's wrong?

Get back to the parking garage.

I don't wanna go back there.

Just do what I say. Go.

Hurry back.

Mom will die without this!

A scumbag junkie.

untie me!

Jun. Over here.

Please untie me.

Hurry!

untie your mother!

untie your mother, untie me!

untie me!

What do you want?

untie me!

Hello.

Angie?

What? I can't hear you.

Who is this?

Hello?

Japan? You're in Japan?

When does the next ship leave?

Lost your passport?

Next ship... Next ship...

I think it's August 30th.

It leaves from Yokohama.

I'll let the boss know.

300,000 yen.

No money?

Pull a robbery. Bye!

Robbery...

Hey. Come with me.

I was in the area, so I came by.

What are you doing?

Stop jabbering. I asked him to cook for us.

It's delicious!

Good. Damn good!

Can you come to my house?

We're having a dinner party this evening.

Take some vegetables.

Just the reason I came. Perfect timing!

You come, too.

I want to surprise everyone.

- Let's take them back now. - Good idea.

It's late! We have to prepare. They're coming.

Let's hurry!

It looks delicious.

Not regular Chinese food, right?

More than lunch. It's dinner.

Dinner means forks and knives.

Anyway, it's awfully good.

Isn't it? Long is a great cook!

So, you came here from Taiwan?

Why? What are you doing here?

Are you in trouble, Mr. Long?

You can open a restaurant.

But he needs a license to open a restaurant.

He can do it on the sly.

So how will he communicate?

He doesn't speak Japanese.

It doesn't matter.

Work hard and you'll win people over.

Where do you live, Long?

Abandoned house in Kuroda.

What? You live in a place like that?

- Sounds fishy. - Is he okay?

- Is he lying? - That's nonsense.

Yeah, there must be a reason for it.

Don't sass me, Mr. bad hair transplant!

Watch your mouth!

Carpenter, you have to fix up his house.

Leave it to me.

Long, let me know if you need a hand.

He wouldn't ask. He's not shameless like you.

Hey, Long.

I'll hook up your electricity.

Instead of a restaurant, how about a stall?

That's a good idea.

And easier than running a restaurant.

I'm a butcher. I can supply the meat.

I'll bring you fresh fish.

And my veggies.

- We have to plan the menu. - What do we serve?

- Pizza? - Why pizza?

'Cause Taiwanese pizza's never been tried.

You're way off.

How about noodles?

- Taiwanese ramen. - Good choice.

All right. Let's do it!

Let's do it.

Oh, "try" is English...

I couldn't help but notice...

I had exactly the same t-shirt.

No way he'd wear the same shirt as you!

Long, are you a fan of Perfume?

Not while we're eating, shit head.

You chose these boondocks, just like me.

What's wrong with "the boondocks"?

And like me, you might never escape.

Don't talk like that.

They call this "snapping turtle town."

We like to help. We latch on and never let go.

You're one of us snapping turtles, ain't ya?

That's true, but...

Here. It's not enough, but please take it.

Thank you very much.

Long, please use this at home.

We have stuff too. Drop by on your way home.

Stop by our house, too.

Why is all this happening?

'Cause you act cool and don't say anything.

Mornin'!

Let's get started!

The lights are on!

Good job!

I brought the meat.

Here's the fish.

Meat cleaver, bread flour, seasoning...

Some shoes and clothes. Just old stuff.