Ill Manors

'and make my kids do well in school.

'And, and I-I did my best with mine,

'so a lot of these mothers and fathers has to be blamed for this as well!

'A lot of mother and father! Listen...

'Don't blame the children. As adults, we should-

'The mother the father, the big people!'

'But, you know, sometimes it cannot be a good time at all, you know,

'for people who grow up in foster care.

'And, you know, things can happen to them and they can have a bad time,

'and they can end up, like, you know, not in a good place, like, mentally,

'and a lot of the time physically,

'so it is a definite bonus to have, like, a strong family background.

'I'm not saying it's the be all and end all...'

'Are you sifting comfortably?

'Well, put your seat belts on cos you're in for a harrowing ride

'cos this is iLL Manors where dark shit goes on at night.

'I am the narrator, the voice that guides the blind,

'follow it not with ears but your mind

'and allow me to take you back and forth through time

'to explain the significance of things you may think are insignificant now.

'But won't... further down the line.'

- What's happenin', bruv? - You got that?

- Yeah? - You enjoy that, yeah?

Fuckin' fat cunt.

Fuckin' waddle, waddle, waddle, waddle.

Who the fuck is this?

- You all right, guys? - Yeah.

- You got anything? - Nah. What are you talkin' about?

- Couple of tickets or anything? - Don't know what you're talking about, bruv.

I'm Tony's mate.

Nah. I don't know Tony, mate. I don't know no Tony.

Oi!

Oh, for fuck's...

Aaron! Come on, bruv!

Quick!

What the fuck!

You love it, don't ya?

What the... Who the fuck is that? What's goin' on?

Oh, fuck's sake! It's 7.30 in the fuckin' morning, man!

I got shit to get to-

I don't give a shit! What, you think I'm holding this time of fuckin' day?

You got money, have ya?

Is it all there? Don't make me count it, bruv.

- You got a phone with ya? - Use Ed's phone.

- What happened to Ed? - He got fuckin' shifted. Some madness.

- Oh, wanker! The lot of ya! - Take the phone, bruv!

Let me put another chip in that, son. Fucking wankers!

Who you picking up off? Chris?

- Chris? - Yeah.

Don't make me laugh! I don't pick up anything from Chris!

- Is it? - All right?

Me and Chris have some business.

I've kept that man in fuckin' business ever since he was a wee pickney!

If it weren't for me, that cunt wouldn't be doing anything!

Even when I went away for 15 years!

That's the only reason he's got my turf, but not for long,

so don't fucking talk to me about that cunt!

Do you understand me?

Prisoner GF9093 Kirby Cropper. One panelled mac.

One forest-green shirt. One pair of black jeans.

One pair of black Chelsea boots. One minidisc player. Six discs.

One Nokia mobile phone. Three items of jewellery.

Sign there for me, please.

'A nine-year-old boy Who was healthy and loud

Whether you're prejudiced or not Man, he's just a kid

You fuckin' little cunt! What do you think you're doing? Hey?

That's our bread and butter, that is!

Take that. Here you are. Go on. Fuck off!

It's all there. And I've canned it an' all.

So, where was you last night?

I was groaning my fuckin' tits off!

Hurry up. He's getting the gear.

Get off me!

You're under arrest for the possession of class-A drugs.

You do not have to say anything, but it may...

Come on, Kirbs. Time to go.

Kirby!

Who's that?

He's in the back.

Let's sort it out.

- All right, Chris? - What's goin', Kirbs?

- I've come for my stuff, bruv. - Yeah. Cool, brother.

- You got it, yeah? - Of course I've got it.

- You all right? - Yeah, good. I always am, ain't I?

Always good.

- Just put it down on the table. - No, take it, bruv. Count it!

I don't touch money no more. Put it down on the table.

You're too big for money now?

All right. So, come on, man. I've gotta go.

Turn my back for five minutes, innit? Cheers.

Hey! Just... Cool.

Chris, what are you doin', man? Don't fuck about with me. Give me my gear.

There it is! There it is! Oi!

Bruv, just give me my gear, will ya?

- I thought you was in a rush, bruv- - I am in a rush!

Listen. Listen, my friend.

I've been away a little while and before I went away,

carrying the can for everyone,

I had people like you running round selling twigs and seeds for me.

Do you remember runnin' round with little batty boy and them?

Think!

Right, when I had you running around for me, right,

did I take the fuckin' piss?

You might have been sellin' twigs and seeds, but I still looked after you.

- Now give me the fuckin'... - You cunt!

Kirby, just relax!

- Get the fuck... - Kirby, relax!

- Get the fuck off me! - Relax yourself!

- Get off me! You fucking little cunt! - Just relax yourself!

Listen! Give me my fuckin' gear! Let go of my fuckin' head!

- Give me my gear! I've got shit to do! - Relax yourself!

Get off me, you cunt! You're hurting my neck!

- Oh! - Fuck you! Fuck you!

Here you are, Kirbs!

- My fucking neck! - Oh!

You fucking wanker!

- Kirby... - What's wrong with ya?

Hey?

Funny, innit?

You'll be laughing the other side of your fuckin' ugly mush... soon enough.

Yeah?

Look what you've done to my glasses, you cunt! I'm shaking like a fuckin' leaf!

'Yea“ funny, innit

- Oh! - You're a cunt.

See ya later, Kirbs.