Neon Joe, Werewolf Hunter

Previously on "Neon Joe, Werewolf he-yump"...

Make love to me, Joe.

Oh, he-yump! Oh, he-yump! Oh, oh!

You sound like a man whose heart's been broken.

You leave Barbara out of this!

You stole my ex-wife and left her for dead!

Joe, don't leave me!

The military felt that it would be better

to rebuild me than repair me,

so I told them to make me into a man.

When the hearts of 40 werewolves come together,

they form an all-powerful cube,

summoning the moon towards Earth.

You must castrate the cube in order to kill it.

Your old rings. Put them on.

When you two were in love

and at the peak of your werewolf hunting abilities,

you were unstoppable.

What about me?

Just walk away, friend. Just walk away.

You're working with the werewolves?

There will be a race of super-powerful werewolves.

I'd be fool not to work with them.

I'll be running the show from now on.

I ain't been on a road trip in a long time.

Cars are cool now...

GPS, seats that heat your butt,

movies in the headrest for the kids.

Hey, we should have kids.

You know, while you still can physically,

and while I still shootin' silver bullets.

I mean, who knows how they turn out, right?

Maybe they grow up to be cool.

Maybe grow up to be little A-holes.

But that's what having kids all about.

Stick it in, roll the dice.

I've hacked into the military server.

I'm just trying to get to Daggart's personal files.

Welcome back, Colonel Daggart.

Bingo, I'm in.

How we gonna get to you, asshole?

Huh. Interesting.

It says he likes to carbo-load before battles.

Oh!

What the hell, Joe?!

Daggart!

You hit the carb on the load.

Here you go, hon. Mmm!

Soup in a bread bowl and another milkshake.

Thanks, Jen. Everything is delicious.

Oh, good. Mmm.

That look good.

Yeah, I do love me a good soup in a bread bowl.

What you got there, a buckwheat rye or sourdough?

Hmm. I'll take that.

Nice try.

Oh.

Cool space gun.

Don't you be doing nothing dumb

like trying to transform into a werewolf

or nothing like that up in he-yump.

Here you go, sweetie.

Thanks, Jen. Mm-hmm.

Anything for you, folks?

No, thank you.

I'll actually have a shrimp po' boy. Mm-hmm.

If you got tartar sauce, put that on the side, please.

I'll take a lettuce, tomato, and onion. Mm-hmm.

Sweet potato tater tots would be good.

Just well done, a little extra crispy on the outside...

You know, when you crack it open in half and it get all steamy

but the inside is soft. Mm-hmm.

Watermelon basil lemonade and a little bit of ice.

But don't overdo it with the ice.

Come on. Give me... Give me the juice.

Got you. Coming right up, darling.

Fries for the table. Help yourselves.

Congrats on escaping the cave.

Of course we escaped the cave. We in love.

Pfft. Love.

I've done 40 years military-grade couples counseling.

Dirty little secret I learned... Love is a hoax.

Relationships are just a way

for one person to control another.

Like the way Barbara did.

Who's this Barbara?

You leave Barbara out of this!

What's your end game, Daggart?

What kind of dingo are you dangling?

Give up on love.

Let's destroy the cube and rule the world together

as bachelors and bachelorette.

Nations would cower at our army of super werewolves

and be in awe of our self-reliant singles mind-set.

Break up and join me.

Jose.

What?

That's short for, "No way, amigo."

What are you scared of? Think about it.

The three of us could rule as one!

Break up with her.

Do it now!

Dump her and join me.

Jose.

Tell him you need your space and gain the world.

Jose.

Pathetic.

You just threw away your last chance at happiness.

Don't say I didn't warn you

when you drive yourselves insane

arguing about how someone loaded the dishwasher!

Hi, Joe.

Hey, babe.

Just walk away, you said.

Just walk away, he said.

Well, I didn't walk away!

Plaid Jeff never walks away from a fight!

Don't worry. I'm not gonna hurt you.

I'm here for this.

Keys, please.

Don't be a hero.

Can't not be what I is.

That be like me telling you

don't keep coming in second place in life

all the time.

All right.

Give me the damn keys.

Be cool, Joe Cocker.

Did you have to go and rub it in?

Oh, come on. That's he and I's combative dynamic.

It's just guys being guys.

Sick of it.

Let's get Daggart's keys and get out of here.

Yeah, don't worry, babe, 'cause, uh...

we ketchup.

Oh, man!

Some of his blood must have got in there!

Ruin my cool pun.

Over there! Over there!

Come on, come on, come on!

Faster, faster! Move, move!

Flowers there and more champagne.

The moon is coming!

Final spritz!

I'm lubed up and ready, moon!

Ha ha!

Well, here it is, babe... Home, sweet he-yump.

Not bad, right?

I see somebody's been keeping you company while I was gone.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I got the paper cuts on my dick to prove it.

Took a while for them to scab up

on account of they don't really make Band-Aid

for the penile region of doing them,

you know, the knuckle Band-Aid.

That work good, but then I gotta, like,

pull it down to pee, pull it back up.

I went through a whole lot of Band-Aid.

Joe, what are we doing here?

Come on, now.

Don't tell me that you, uh...

forgot our pre-hunt ritual.

No.

We are not having sex.

There's no time.

Come on, babe.

You know there's no better way to consummate things

than by launching ourselves into battle

with a simultaneous orgas-he-yump.

Don't you remember what it was like?

Being all filled up with a lot of Joe.

Deep inside.

Hot... throbbing... stiff.

I mean, yeah, we'll be tired,

but we'll be satisfied...

and unstoppable.

Okay.

Oh, he-yump.

Yeah.

You gonna like this bed.

Yeah, I mean, it not the greatest mattress,

but, you know, since we gonna be quick, it's gonna be fine.

It'll do the job.

What the he-yump?!

Jeff! What are you doing here?!

I just couldn't shake you guys' relationship.

All I wanted to do when I saw you at the bar

was get a rise out of you.

Yeah, well, Joe's about as cool a cuc as they come.

So how about you give me that sword,

let this cumber do the job?

Let me just throw something out there

that I've been thinking on.

If you two are such a powerful werewolf-hunting couple,

imagine how much more powerful we'd be...

as a threesome.

I know I'll never get you back,

but if we teamed up,

the lust, the passion, the jealousy...

Think of all the killings we could accomplish.