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The Bernoulli distribution

is the number of successes

in a sequence of independent

yes-no experiments.

Okay.

Uh, for the Quiz Monday,

brush up on chapters three and four.

Bernoulli's one of my favorites.

Little-known fact, statistics were not his only love.

He's also famous for his French sauce

used on meat and poultry.

That's Bearnaise.

Oh, we may need to settle this at a restaurant.

It's cute.

A little aggressive,

but as a busy, confident woman of authority,

I'm attracted to men who take charge.

Are you being sarcastic, or am I nailing it?

You were nailing it, until you had to ask.

Oh, damn it. Starting over.

Hey, you in the skirt, date me.

I'd like to, Mr. Winger.

You're tall, you dress nice,

and I've graded enough of your tests

to know I'd never feel mentally inadequate.

Thank you.

Only problem, I don't date students.

You know if you agree to go out with me...

Oh, hey.

Awkward.

How small is this campus?

Bastard.

It's fine. I don't care.

It's disgusting the way men behave.

Did you ever see that Katherine Heigl movie poster

where Gerard Butler had that heart over his weiner?

That resonated with me.

Okay, fine.

But just to repeat,

I don't care what Jeff does.

Bastard.

I'm barely a student.

I'm older than you.

I drive a Lexus.

I saw "Ghost Busters" in the theater.

Look, my gums are receding.

It's uncanny how many of my buttons you're finding,

but I have a personal rule about this, and I stick to it.

Have a cup of coffee with me. I bet I can change your mind.

Oh, I know you can.

That's why you're not getting the chance.

Ooh, whoo.

Are you coming to my Dias de los Muertos party?

I'm definitely gonna try to swing by.

Then I can mark you down as definitely being there

from 7:00 sharp till upside-down Spanish question mark?

- Here's the thing... - No, here's the thing.

I am putting my foot down. You understand?

I am being assertive,

and I am making eye contact,

and it is achieving results.

Are you trying to get formidable with me?

It worked on Pierce.

Infomercials work on Pierce.

Jeff, you're the cool guy, okay?

If you show up, it'll be the first party I host

where everyone doesn't say

they need to get home in time for the news.

This won't work.

The last time you did this,

I saved a vial of your tears

and have been slowly building up an immunity.

I was so unpopular in high school,

the crossing guard used to lure me into traffic.

This party is a second chance

to be...

Hip.

Cool!

Laidback!

Look, I will come to your party.

Thank you.

I'm putting you down for two bags of ice

and a sleeve of paper cups.

Taking a pill?

- Yes, I am. - Xenolovaden.

My grandpa took that when he was around your age.

Fantastic.

But by the time grandpa got up in years,

his memory wasn't great.

He'd mix the wrong pills. You know how old people are?

Heard stories about it, yeah.

One time he started hallucinating

and ran down the street with no pants on.

Which in the Gaza Strip is considered a real party foul,

so you should probably be careful...

Look, I really don't need your advice,

and I'm not your pantsless grandpa.

Pantsless grandpa.

Hola!

Scary.

Oh, cute! Cute.

Oh, Britta.

You look adorable.

Thank you.

I hate when women use Halloween

as an excuse to dress up like sluts, you know?

Yeah.

Okay, everyone.

I think we can begin.

I've got everyone's personalized cookie tombstones,

por tradicion,

and in a few minutes,

we're going to start the dance of the dead...

La danza de los muertos.

You don't have to keep doing that!

Party on.

It's nice of you to be here.

Sure you'd rather be out with your hot professor.

Well, it's funny,

I enrolled here as selfish loner,

but you and the group have given me

a crash course in friendship.

- She blew you off, huh? - She's grading papers.

Professor Slater?

She's not grading papers.

She's at the faculty party in the cafeteria.

Oh, look, it's the eavesdropping matador.

Are you saying my people are sneaky?

What?

There's a storm

building on the horizon,

but you and I will save the night.

Chex mix, pretzels, baby carrots,

predictable but appetizing.

- Hey. - Hey.

Can I ask you something I always wanted to ask

- the real Batman? - Yeah.

Am I good looking?

You're a very attractive young man.

I knew it.

Let's get this party started!

Who are you?

I am the Beastmaster.

From the movie Beastmaster.

What rock have you been living under?

What are you going as?

A gay douchebag? Just kidding.

Nice one. I'm not much of a costume guy.

I know, you're not much

of a liking the ladies guy either, huh?

Oop. Body blow. Is that liquor?

Hello.

Here's your drinks, mates.

Oh, thanks, Urkel.

I'm Harry Potter.

Really?

What up, Urkel?

Hey.

Oh...

All right. What are you taking?

You know, the usual cool stuff.

I've got 'ludes, uh, dreamers...

Johnny boys.

Tell you what.

I'll trade you one of mine

for two of yours. Hmm?

I don't know, Star-Burns. I'm...

Oh, sorry.

I thought I was dealing with the Beastmaster.

Hey, hey, who said you weren't?

Saddle up, fruit pie.

I don't mind if I do, may I?

Here. take this.

Give anyone that shows up their stupid credit.

You going to the faculty party?

Make me your plus one.

Ah, give it up, Winger.

Professor Slater doesn't date students.

Or married Asians who drive Mopeds.

Give you 20 bucks.

I'll bring the hog around.

Okay, it's time for the "dance of the dead".

Everyone form a circle.

Lights. Music.

Is it under genre or on a specific playlist?

Hey, uh, man? What'd you slip me?

I keep grinding my teeth, and I want to kiss everybody.

What'd you slip me, man?

My heart stopped racing, and I can't pee.

Now for the first dance,

I'd like to invite a very special guest to the floor.

Jeff Winger?

Jeff?

Where's Jeff?

Is Jeff gone?

You know, I'm gonna go.

I don't want to miss the news.

News!

He just stepped out.

He's gonna be right back.