The Bogman

When I'm exhausted from running through the woods

all day from Bigfoot,

I like to suck on a Boggy Ball for refreshment.

That's got hair in it.

King of Hide and Seek presents

this fuzzy ranked twist of Bigfoot pee and swamp mud.

Boggy Ball Beer, does Bigfoot drink it?

We don't know. Who knows?

We sure as hell do.

Government warning, consuming this product

may cause hallucination leading to enragement

and/or aggressive behaviors

and extreme hair growth out of control.

No, he may not make it up.

He's fighting back.

That round, that was close.

I know what to do here.

Oh my God.

- And the most God awful. - Oh my God.

It hits!

Chair shot just makes you sick.

Makes your blood curl.

Oh no!

Good God Almighty, good God Almighty!

I just can't believe it.

My God.

Woo!

The King of Hide and Seek presents

this fuzzy rank twist of Bigfoot pee and swamp mud.

Stink ape logger.

If you can still smell it, buddy, you need another one.

Government warning,

consuming this product may cause hallucination

leading to enragement and/or aggressive behaviors

and extreme hair growth out of control.

Hey, you getting outta line.

You freaking serious, come on!

Richard Brooks here.

In Mountain Bend, Arkansas, for the past four months,

me and my team have been scouring these entire woods

in hunt for proof of the elusive Bigfoot, the Sasquatch,

the Yeti, the stink ape, Bogman to some.

Now we have been tracking their migration patterns

from the woods of Oregon all the way down

to the foothills of Arkansas.

Now, why do they do this?

What does it all mean?

As always, we defer to our resident cryptozoologist,

Dr. Benjamin Martin.

These majestic creatures can answer so many questions

about where we came from, as in they are the missing link

between us and our ape ancestors, the proof of evolution.

So if we can get an understanding of where we came from,

then maybe, just maybe we can get an idea

of where we are going, in an evolutionary sense.

So, if we track the migration patterns of the Yeti,

we start to see correlations and similarities

between their movements and the movements

of ancient Native American tribes.

This is a Native American sharpening stone

from our very own collection

and if you look closely at these areas,

you can see that there are clear similarities

between this and other artifacts found

in the forests of Mountain Bend.

This, to me, is a clear indication that these ancient men

and our ape ancestors were in close proximity

with one another, and may have even influenced one another.

The town of Mountain Bend, Arkansas,

has completely adapted this Bogman

as part of their very own culture.

In fact, many of the businesses around here

have adapted their products, and in some cases,

their very own store to immortalize

this mysterious creature, this folklore legend.

Even the local government

has welcomed the folklore,

accepting it as part of their daily life.

Mayor Carl Rafferty explains.

We welcome the notoriety.

We do not mind one bit being called the Bigfoot Town.

Matter of fact, 75% of our annual budget comes from tourism,

so you don't wanna bite the hand that feeds ya,

or foot.

Yeah, dang.

But...

Then the sightings started, so.

So this is the town we're moving to, the Bigfoot Town?

Yeah, guys, the Bigfoot Town, the Land of Sasquatch.

Please, please stop.

You're worse than the host of that stupid show.

If you think it's so stupid,

why have you watched every episode on the ride?

Why are you worried about what I'm doing?

Look, I think this Bigfoot mess is just as dumb

as anyone else, but your father got this land

and this ranch for free from your great uncle,

so if leaning into this Bigfoot mess makes us money,

then sign me up 'cause I've seen him too.

This is a new start for all of us, guys.

And you know, James, they film this show

in town all the time, so if you're that big a fan of it,

you might get to be in the background of an episode or two.

Wait, really?

That would be awesome.

Yeah, that's pretty awesome,

but we've got a lot of work left to do on the farm.

Probably gonna have to work through the winter

and the spring just to finish it all up.

Probably gonna put you to work too, Michelle.

I never thought I'd be so excited to go to school.

Sorry to burst your bubble, Michelle,

but it looks like it's going to take us

at least a couple of weeks

to get you both enrolled in school, so until then,

it looks like both of you guys

are going to be doing home school with me.

- You can't be serious! - There is no way.

It's not even legal, you can't do that.

Wow, any lesser person's feelings

would be crushed right now, but fortunately for you two,

I am the most patient stepmother that ever lived,

so it's gonna take a lot more than that to hurt my feelings.

Repent.

What was that Michelle?

Nothing, Daddy.

Well, on a happier note,

it looks like we're actually here.

Wow, that's actually pretty awesome.

And it's not all just Bigfoot stuff too, guys.

That's right, there's go-karts,

there's mini golf, video arcades.

Plenty of stuff to keep you guys entertained

when you're not working on the farm.

Hey, look, it's the shop from the show.

Oh babe, we've got some time before we meet

with David and Clark.

How about we stop in for a minute?

Sounds like a plan to me.

This looks like the perfect place to stop.

Hey, James, Michelle, slow down, slow down.

- Move it. - Get out of my way.

- I'm trying to take a picture. - James,

don't push your sister.

Michelle, come on.

- Move. - Hold on.

Why don't you group together,

take a picture for Mom.

Come on, kids, let's get in front of the Bigfoot statue,

take a cool picture.

This looks super neat.

Yeah, all right, come on, smile for me.

Okay, sit up straight.

Come on, smile.

Big foot, big hug, come on, guys.

Big ugly like your face.

Let's go, guys.

- Check this place out. - Get out of my way.

Says you.

That is a big foot.

Look at that, Bigfoot's big feet.

Yeah.

There's a trail.

Mermaids.

I guess people will believe in anything these days.

Put it back.

Well, hello there and welcome to Janet's Treasure Chest.

So you guys visiting our lovely town?

So we're not visiting.

We are the new owners of the old Torrance Farm by the ranch.

Oh, how exciting.

You know, my family and the Torrance's, we're all friends.

I'm just so glad to hear that they're gonna be doing

something with the place.

Oh, so your people knew my people.

Uncle Jack, he left us the ranch and the land and everything

when he passed away a year ago.

So sad to hear about that, but I'm just,

I'm glad to know there's gonna be

some new Torrance's in town.

You guys must be pretty hungry

after that long drive y'all taken.

Would y'all like to go next door?

Y'all should check out this restaurant, it's delicious,

and you just tell 'em that Janet sent ya, okay?

After the drive we've had,

some food would really hit the spot.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, I gotta ask.

The Bigfoot stuff, the shop,

the town, the TV show, I mean...

You wanna know if I believe.

Well, yeah, but in the most respectful way.

Well, yeah, yeah, I do believe.

I mean, everybody here has seen so many sightings

and has had so many experiences,

and if you stick around long enough,

I can promise you, you're gonna see something.

But as long as you are respectful

and you don't do anything to agitate him,