The 51st State (Formula 51) (The 51st State)

Yeah. Heh-heh.

I... I mean rules are like arbitrary, you know,

made up for people who believe in fairy tales.

Like, you know, like Santa Claus.

Hey, but not us, right?

I mean, we know what's important.

There's a war going on, man. A war!

Ain't that a bitch?

I just graduated today, man.

With honors.

Got my degree in... in... in pharmacology.

I'm licensed.

Look, if you write me up on this drug charge,

I won't be able to practice.

So what we're talking about here is... is my life.

The rest of it.

The sixties are over... man.

- Jody and Nick, you have come together in this church

so that the Lord may seal...

- Mr. Jones, is it true this is the biggest deal

you've cut with the FBI?

- I now pronounce you man and wife.

- Aren't you supposed to be in court?

Case adjourned.

They just seemed to run fresh

out of witnesses.

Frees up the Lizard for his other business.

One hundred large

has been deducted from your account.

As promised.

Can the Lizard offer a suggestion on how she can, uh...

work off the rest of her debt?

The Lizard may not.

Go.

Believe me, you'll thank me later.

Let's go.

No more free meals. Let's go.

- Christ, it's like a reptile house in here.

Fuck off.

Ah, mix master.

To our star chemist, gentlemen.

Elmo McElroy.

Where's Durant?

I see five. I don't see the Brit.

Where the fuck is he at?

He said he'd be here.

- Limey faggot needs a lesson in manners.

Fuck Durant.

Just tell us about this new wonder drug.

Get your master chemist in here.

Okay.

Konokko, fetch him.

Fetch the Lizard Elmo.

No Durant.

No McElroy.

- Maybe he went out for something.

Oh! What the fuck?!

Nobody goes out

for something on deal day!

- Oh! - Stop your whining,

get up off your ass and go find him! Now!

Ah...

Just give me a moment.

"This is Elmo McElroy's phone.

He's not home.

You know what to do,

you know when to do it. Bye."

Tasty Drops?

- He fucked me. I'm truly ass-invaded!

"You have one new message."

- "He fucked me. I'm truly ass-invaded!"

Rest in peace...

motherfucker.

You're going home, Dakota.

- I'm going to Vegas. - You listen to me.

There's this, uh...

Limey asshole in Liverpool

named Durant. He was supposed

to show up for this little deal we had going on today.

He didn't... he didn't show up.

The Lizard thinks he stole his Elmo.

- I'm not going back there. I don't care how much money

I owe you. - You listen to me, Dakota.

I want this Limey motherfucker Durant off the fucking planet.

And I want fucking Elmo fucking McElroy

off the fucking planet!!

Did you hear what I just said?

That place has nothing to offer me.

- The Lizard... will wipe your marker clean.

Plus,

a bonus. One hundred thousand.

If the job is done in 48 hours.

And after that, there is nothing to stop you

from turning right around and leaving again.

Two-fifty.

Get it done.

It's done.

Shite!

Good evening.

I'd like to extend a very warm welcome to each of you

on behalf of all the crew on this virgin Atlantic flight.

Please store carry-on baggage in the overhead lockers.

- Can I show you to your seat, Sir?

- We are just waiting for our last remaining passengers

to board and then we'll be on our way.

- Spit it out. Spit it out now.

Tommy?

What?

What?

Fuckin' Yanks.

The trouble with the fuckin' Yanks is,

they've no fuckin' sense.

Had some dick in Los Angeles

actually ask me where I learnt English.

English, fuck!

- You have a problem with America, Felix?

- Oh, yeah. I got one great, big, fat swollen fucker of a problem

with America, twat.

Listen to this.

I'm in fuckin' Florida, right?

This southern prat comes up and he's like, uh...

"Hey, England's small.

You must know that John fucking Smith guy, right?"

Fucking Smith.

I'm like, "Oh, yeah,

yeah, mate, that's right.

John Smith. Yeah, I do know him, but uh,

he doesn't come from England, mate. No, he comes from fucking

: Pricksville, U.S.A.

Are you gonna answer that fucking phone or what?

It's just my wife.

Now, when Mr. McElroy joins us, I'd be pleased

if you kept your opinions to yourself.

This particular Yank is not a traveling salesman.

He's a genius. Hm?

Who is this cunt?

So I said to Mr. Durant, I said, "Mr. Durant,

we're gonna meet this fuckin' Yank McElroy,

bring him to the deal and that's it."

None of this fucking

conversation-and-coffee bollocks. None of this

asking how the Tampa Bay "Fuckanneers" are getting on.

No, I said fuck him. I bring him to the deal,

I get me fucking tickets and I'm off. That's it.

Take a left up here. - There's no time for this.

Take a fucking left, will ya.

Felix. Felix, listen.

This is a totally new chemical. Once we have the formula,

we could make this stuff in a kitchen!

We don't even need Durant. - Look. You see that?

Manchester United vs. Liverpool.

And that's tomorrow. Blokes are shagging

their fucking mothers-in-law to get a ticket for that.

And I'm getting two from Mr. Durant.

So unless you can shag us a couple of tickets on the spot,

I suggest you shut the fuck up.

- But this is a unique window of opportunity for you.

We are talking telephone numbers...

- Enough. Take care of him. He's getting on me fuckin' tits.

- We're gonna be late, boss. - Fuck the Yank! Let him wait.

"When you walk Through a storm

"Hold your head up high"

Boys and girls of Manchester...

just popped over from, uh... Liverpool

to invite you to a little game of footies tomorrow afternoon.

- What the fucking hell's that, you twat?

- But I'm fucking fucked if you think you are gonna win it.

- Someone get that fucking thing out!

Hey, young man!

Where the fuck've you been?

- Just around the block. - Drive. Quick.

- Let's go meet the Yankee moppet.

Where's Lawrence?

Where's he gone? We're late. - Well, he's...

You left him at the pub. Twat.

- Well, you said... - Go back.

Go back and get him.

- This wanker. - Out, prick.

Uh!

Lawrence says, right,

he's gonna be carrying...

a load of drugs, right?

We do him. Job done, okay?

- Yeah. - I'm not having

some fucking nignog... put us out of business, right?

Right?!

Watch it! You're pissing on me fucking boots!

- What about Felix DeSouza? - Fuck him.

He's a rabid dog.

Is he? Well, fuck him!

Fuck him! Leave it to me!

Everybody fucking wants you off.

Heh? No problem.

No problem.

Hey!

Hey! Felix DeSouza.

Just the wanker I wanted to deal with.

- Deal with this. - Ah!

What a fucking day.

Arthur, come in, Arthur. Over.