Gravity Falls

La la la la la la la-- ahh!

Braces, braces caught in the screen door!

Someone dictate my will! I'm giving it all to waddles!

Say "ah," girl-dude.

Ahh-uh!

Soos! You saved me!

Just doing my job, hambone!

I'll see you dudes tomorrow!

Bye, Soos!

Night, Soos!

Night, Soos!

Doo doo doo...

Walking to my car...

You ever wonder what Soos does

when he's not here at the mystery shack?

- No. - Not really.

Not once ever.

Punch!

Punch those leopards.

Ooh, highlights are done!

You are gonna make the other grandmas

at the bingo hall so jealous.

Just a minute, mijo.

Look at this.

Your cousin Reggie is having an engagement party next month.

Wait, wait. Reggie is engaged?

But he's like the poor man's Soos!

I do not want to pressure you, but you are a man now.

In a way, it's time for you to start meeting girls.

I would like to see you settled

before I ascend to heaven and live with the angels.

And with grandpa!

No, he is not there.

Please find a girl to bring to Reggie's engagement.

For abuelita.

No problem!

I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video games,

having a sort-of moustache.

I could totally get a date in a week.

Totally.

Piece of cake.

You're dead.

I'm dead.

Hello!

Please don't let my horrible, elderly face frighten you!

Don't you want to use that nickel to get a nugget from old Goldie?

Watch this!

Okay, seriously, Mr. Pines, it's time to throw that thing out.

Its face reminds everyone of the inevitability of death.

What?

Sure, he's a little rusty around the edges,

but old Goldie's a classic show-stopper like me!

Oh, kill it!

Kill it!

Huh, a woman!

All right, Soos, you could do this.

Just use your mouth to say words that makes romance happen.

Your face is good.

I'm a Soos!

Soos? What was that all about?

I-- I think I was flirting!

But I'm not sure.

Did someone say flirting?

Well, I sort of promised my grandma

I'd get a date by the end of the week.

But I've never actually been on a date before.

You belong on me, out of order sign.

Finally, my prayers for a chance

to match-make this summer have been answered!

Soos, a little advice: you need to get rich.

Or lie about being rich.

Outside of that, I don't like your chances.

Don't listen to Stan, dude.

You're a sweet guy with a steady job and a pickup truck.

Would you date him?

Oh... Would you look at that...

Soos, you help us so much, it's time we help you, dude.

We're gonna get you that date.

We're taking you where romance lives and fashion styles die.

To the mall!

I'm gonna go find a replacement for old Goldie.

Babysit Soos while I'm gone.

All right, Soos,

are you ready to explode a charm bomb

on these poor, unsuspecting ladies?

Ah, but what if I embarrass myself again?

Ah, you can't be any worse at this than Dipper.

Yeah! Wait... What?

And flirt!

Eye contact!

Hey there! I'm not scared of your eyes at all!

I'm gonna look at them!

Eye contact.

Conversation!

You know I've actually been in a pig's body.

Did you know pigs have a hard time walking backwards?

Not you though! Not that I'm calling you a pig.

Where are you going?

Confidence!

So you're probably a girl, right?

Wrong?

No, I was right the first time.

Wrong?

Tossing away garbage in the garbage can, whew!

Ah, don't look at me like that!

This is how it's got to be!

What in the--

What is this living nightmare?

Why do kids love it so much?

Who wants to get badgered?

Oh, yeah, that's Will E. Badger.

He opens for Hoo-Ha and the Jamboree.

It's Will E. Badger. I love you, Will E.

Now, give me your money!

Take my money! Take it all!

Oh!

Sir, I would like to buy that badger.

You're in over your head, gramps!

Animatronics is a young man's game!

You couldn't handle the hardcore life of the pizza robot manager.

Huh.

Flinched!

Hey, you, barfing in the ball pit, Gary's on the case!

I'm gonna get that badger!

Don't worry, Soos.

You will find the right girl, you just need to stick with it.

Ah, could this day get any worse?

Oh, no, cousin Reggie!

Feel it, it's muscle.

He can't see me like this!

I got to hide!

This is it, Soos. A lifetime of loneliness.

You're the only ones who could love me...

Fighty Hogg, Dr. Punch Head MD.

Huh.

Never seen that one before.

"Virtually improve your dating skills,

9 out of 10 basement dwellers recommend!"

This is perfect!

Well, I guess you are better at games than at flirting.

Anything to get you out there, Soos!

I'm not sure you want to buy that game, sir.

This is the third time someone's brought that back.

And there's a note on it that says destroy at all costs.

So, hey, there. What's your deal?

Like the-- oh, she's dead.

We'll take our chances.

Man, I can't wait for the year 2000.

Uh-- start!

When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom...

Anthyding can hadplen.

That is so true.

Oh, hi there.

My name is Giffany,

I'm a school girl at school university,

will you help me carry my books?

I'm really feeling number two here.

Click!

Ah. I messed up.

That's okay.

Try again.

Wow! I'm learning.

And games are making it fun.

What would you like to talk about?

I'd rather just click your face.

You are so funny!

Man, this game is amazing.

I don't know why anyone abandoned it.

And I'm sure, you'll never abandon me, new boy friend.

Boy friend?

Oh, my Giffany, it's almost like you're actually alive!

Yes, almost.

Oh, man, you have such a nice laugh.

You don't understand, Wendy.

This animatronic badger sings, it dances.

It's the perfect money taking attraction

but he won't sell it to me.

This is literally too dumb for me to care about.

Hey, have you guys seen Soos?

We're supposed to help him with matchmaking today.

Yeah! I wore my motivational sweater and everything.

I messed up that part.

He didn't come in today.

It's the first time he's missed work ever.

So that's basically my entire life story.

Now you tell me a thing about you.

Every time you compliment me, I get another highlight in my eyes.

Ah, you're pretty.

And pixelly.

And so agreeable.

Yes.

Uh, Soos.

Oh, hi, dudes, come in.

This game is amazing.

I'm making eye contact, going on dates

and I haven't seen any natural sunlight for 13 hours.

Soos, maybe it's time to apply these skills with real girls.

But, I'm about to meet her parents!

Her dad is an octopus man.

We're going back to the mall, man.